The Most Annoying Things Couples Do At Restaurants, According To Servers
Nothing—and I mean nothing—is better than people-watching in a restaurant. Even better, watching a date unfold. Whether it's a blind date, first date, or a seasoned couple, the entertainment value cannot be beat. So if you're one half of a couple and planning on dining out anytime soon (ahem: Valentine's Day is on the horizon), be aware that other ears, and eyes, might be tuned in. In fact, it probably behooves you to be on your best behavior.
For any service industry job, you'll find Twitter threads, Reddit posts, and entire forums dedicated to the do's and don'ts workers have experienced firsthand throughout their careers. And as someone whose worked in the industry, trust me, the same goes for restaurants. From asking for a million separate checks after a large meal to not tipping properly, there are sadly countless faux pas that you likely want to avoid. It might come as a surprise to some (single gal here, can't relate), but dining as a couple comes with its own host of intricacies and restaurant workers and etiquette experts are spilling the tea on some of the most aggravating things couples do.
As etiquette expert Thomas Farley—also known as Mister Manners—succinctly puts it, "Even the most star-crossed of lovers must not lose sight of essential restaurant etiquette when enjoying a meal out on the town."
Here, the most annoying (if sometimes entertaining to onlookers) things couples do whilst dining out...
Playing Paparazzi
There's nothing wrong with documenting your dreamy night out, but taking an inordinate amount of photos (selfies included), can get in the way of servers navigating a busy restaurant, explains Farley. And don't get us started about constant flashes going off!
Farley also recommends asking another couple to take your photo, rather than a server. "The staff is likely swamped with things to do that don't involve finding your best angle," he explains. (Related: make sure you aren't spending too much time snapping pics of your food just to send it back to be reheated. The onus there is on you.)
Making A Scene
Keep the drama for Bravo (or your own home) and be on your best behavior when dining out. "Arguing in public to the point that impacts other guests and waitstaff, making them feel uncomfortable," is an ick in lifestyle and etiquette expert and Red Carpet Events Founder Christy Bareijsza's book (and mine too). If you're going to have a disagreement at the table, keep it hush hush.
Talking Cutesy
On the reverse side of making a scene, we love that you're in love bro, but let's calm down with the baby talk and cutesy nicknames. My ear drums may rupture if I have to hear the word "babe" for the 5,763rd time tonight. And save the baby talk for your dog. He's a good boy, after all.
Packing On The PDA
No one's judging a smooch or two throughout the evening, especially if you're participating in a romantic night out. But—and this is a big but—no one wants to see anyone sucking face while there's food on the table. "It's extremely inconsiderate," one server posted on Reddit. "I don't want to watch people swapping saliva when I'm trying to enjoy a meal or serve a table." Amen!
Giving All The Legwork To The Restaurant
In a Reddit thread, one restaurant worker lamented a customer request that was quite over the top. "This is a very important anniversary. Anything you can do to make this extra special—flowers on the table, champagne toast, gifted dessert, anything is extremely appreciated," read the reservation request.
The staff's interpretation of this request, per the post: "Hi, I'm cheap and lack any imagination so I'm putting this all on you..." We couldn't agree more. While the restaurant might be the destination for your romantic outing, the extra legwork is up to YOU. If you want flowers, go buy them yourself, bud.
Feeding Each Other
The only people I've ever fed have been under the age of one. I don't care if you want to try a bite or two of my pasta, but for the love of God, please don't ask me to fork feed it to you. It's not hot, it's a bit creepy, and if your age is in the double digits, there's no reason why you can't pick up a utensil and feed your own damn self. Speaking of which, no Lady and the Tramping either. It's only cute in a cartoon.
Expecting Special Requests For Free
"We've had guests ask to have a private room for themselves and get upset when we tell them there's a $3000 food and beverage minimum on the room," one worker wrote on Reddit. Another person commented, "The anniversary and Valentine's requests like this always annoyed me...We sell champagne and desserts because we're ready to honor your occasion, and congrats on your milestone, but we're kinda over it." The keyword here is *sell.* Just because it may be a special occasion for you doesn't mean that you can go out and expect freebies left and right.
And if you do get gratis perks or upgrades, Bareijsza recommends additionally compensating your waitstaff—after all, your servers are working overtime to deliver a great experience for you.
"Fighting" Over The Bill
"Why do people not realize what a bad look fighting over the check is?" commented one server on Reddit. Another agreed, stating, "Yup. I hate this situation. It's not fun for anyone." It makes it awkward for your server when you argue at the table over who is going to pay for dinner. These days, if you're so concerned that your significant other is treating you, you can always Venmo them later.
Speaking of the bill: If you're dining out on a holiday, "Remember that your servers have sacrificed their own celebrations so you can enjoy yours," Farley says. "Tip more generously than normal to acknowledge their role in making your evening a special one."
Demanding Reservation Miracles
Being spontaneous can totally be great, but for special occasions, it's best to plan smartly. A lot of restaurants, especially if they are higher end, book out far in advance—even more so for holidays—so don't expect your place of choice to bend over backwards to accommodate your last-minute request. Instead, make sure to mark your calendar and be on top of booking your restaurant of choice to forgo any last minute scrambling.
Furthermore, if you do snag that coveted res, don't be inconsiderate and show up late, or not at all, Farley notes. "That table could have gone to another pair of eager lovebirds," he says. In the same vein, keep in mind there might be other patrons queued up for your table once you're done. "Holding the table for an extended amount of time without continuing to order food or beverages pushing later reservations back and taking away from the server's potential gratuities," is also looked down upon in the restaurant world, explains Bareijsza.
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