Nneka Ihim's Bittersweet Baby News; “RHOP” Alum Reveals She's Pregnant but Lost Twin Sibling in Utero (Exclusive)

Nneka Ihim is going to be a mom!

After over two years of trying, the Real Housewives of Potomac alumna, 37, and her husband Dr. Ikenna Ihim, 40, are pregnant with their first child, she tells PEOPLE exclusively.

"It's so exciting," Nneka gushes of the baby, due in May. "I've always wanted to be a mom and for so long, it felt like the vision of having the family I desired wasn't possible. But now my dreams of building a family are coming true, and it just feels so special."

"I sometimes still have to pinch myself, it's so surreal and shocking," she adds. "Even now I'm trying to plan my baby shower and I'm just like, 'Wow, this is really happening for me.' "

It's happy news, but one that Nneka admits is "bittersweet." The Bravo star first learned she was expecting twins after implanting two embryos, a boy and a girl, during a third round of in vitro fertilization (IVF). But at her regular prenatal check-up for the eight-week mark, doctors told her she had lost one of them.

"We showed up for an appointment and one of the twins no longer had a heartbeat," Nneka recalls, getting emotional. "So that was really, really hard. I mean, the second I walked out of my doctor's office, I burst into tears."

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Nneka says she spent the next four days in bed. "I wasn't really eating, wasn't drinking, wasn't doing what I needed to do to care for the one that I still had. Because to me, it just felt like I wasn't pregnant anymore," she shares. "I saw both heartbeats on the screen, that was the pregnancy. It felt incomplete once the other one was gone."

"There's trauma within the celebration," Nneka continues. "But at the same time, we've been through this for so long and God has finally blessed us with this pregnancy, so we're trying to be very optimistic here. My doctor says the one we have now is very healthy and very strong. I'm more than halfway through, so at this point, I feel much more stable. After losing the twin, it'd be very easy to sit here every day like, 'Is there a heartbeat? Is everything going to be okay?' But I just have to have faith that's not going to happen."

Faith is something Nneka has had to lean on throughout her journey to pregnancy.

Related: Nneka Ihim Confirms Departure from The Real Housewives of Potomac After 1 Season (Exclusive)

As viewers saw during her debut run on RHOP in season 8, the first-generation Nigerian-American lawyer and her physician husband tried multiple routes to conception, turning to intrauterine insemination (IUI) — a fertility treatment also known as artificial insemination that involves placing sperm directly into the uterus to increase the chances of pregnancy — when the natural way wasn't working.

"The first round of IUI, which I did on the show, did not work. And then I did a second round that also didn't work," Nneka said. "And I never wanted to do IVF, because for some reason in my head, It just seemed very unnatural. All those hormones and drugs... I was very cautious of it. But my doctor really encouraged me to try it, and I'm so grateful she did."

IVF — in which an egg is removed from the woman's ovaries, fertilized with sperm in a laboratory, and if successful, then transferred to the patient's uterus in hopes that it attaches to the lining to mature — has a significantly higher success rate than IUI, studies have shown. But the first two times Nneka went through the procedure, it failed.

"We did a transfer from frozen first and then a fresh embryo transfer second, and both times, I'd go in hoping it would work and when it didn't, I'd enter a dark period where I was just really, really upset," Nneka says.

Related: Erin Foster Opens Up About Undergoing IVF Over 20 Times: 'Nobody Wants to Be Doing' It (Exclusive)

The procedures also took a financial toll, something the Potomac resident wishes more women spoke out about.

"The medication in and of itself is $5,000. The egg retrieval portion of it is about $24,000 and then the transfer itself is $7,000. So that's what — $36,000 for one round? We don't take that into consideration enough when we talk about fertility troubles," she says.

Another thing Nneka hadn't taken into consideration? The changes that the hormone injections would have on her body.

"I was gaining so much weight from this process, which is another thing no one really tells you," she remembers. "Even though you're trying to be healthy, your body is just completely out of wack. So when the first two times failed, I really questioned whether I wanted to do it again."

Related: Candiace Dillard Bassett Was Paralyzed in Pain Days After Giving Birth. Here’s What Doctors Found Next (Exclusive)

Wanting to explore other options, Nneka and Dr. Ikenna decided to pursue surrogacy, beginning consultations and even going as far to put down a deposit. But they also decided to give IVF one final try.

"We were just essentially going through the motions," Nneka admits of the third transfer, which she underwent from frozen in September 2024. "And it's not that I didn't care, but I really had zero expectations. I had already resigned myself to the fact that, 'This may not be the path God wants for me. So let me focus on making healthy embryos for a surrogate to use, because that seems to be the direction God is taking us in.' "

However, the third round proved successful.

"Up until that point, I was having a lot of anxiety but that round, I just didn't put any pressure on myself," Nneka says. "I was in a very mellow mindset; much more carefree. I even went to Paris with my friends. And next thing I knew, I found out the good news: I was pregnant."

The moment she learned the good news is something Nneka won't forget.

"I had gone to a 40th birthday party for a friend and the whole time I was there, I was getting hot flashes," she recounts. "So the next morning I was like, 'Let me take a pregnancy test' — this was just three days after the transfer — and I saw a very, very, faint line."

She adds that she "screamed" and called her husband over. "He was like, 'What do you mean, I can't see nothing!' But see, I'd been on all the IVF forums, and I had heard about these faint lines. So I took about three or four other tests, and the next morning, the HCG was a little more potent so it came in bright red. And then I did another digital test that confirmed pregnant. And then I called my doctor and by the end of the week, we had a positive blood test."

As she tells the story, the reality star's excitement turns to to sadness. "We felt so super blessed when we learned it was twins. Here it was, after all that, and I had m heart's desire: a boy and a girl. I said, 'My God, you really came through for me!' My first ultrasound, we saw the two gestational sacs with the two embryos there. The following week, we saw both their heartbeats. And then unfortunately, for reasons we still don't even know, it was just one."

Despite the emotional pain of the loss, Nneka says her pregnancy has been smooth sailing.

"I'm five months in and it's gone so well, it's almost felt unreal," she says. "People say the first trimester is all nausea and vomiting, but I'm lucky to say I've had zero morning sickness."

Reflecting on her journey, Nneka says she feels grateful to those she leaned on for support, including Real Housewives of Dubai star Chanel Ayan and Real Housewives of Potomac O.G. Charrisse Jackson-Jordan — both of whom Nneka says have been "dear friends."

Of course, her husband has been there every step of the way, too.

"He's been incredible," says Nneka of Dr. Ikenna, whom she married in August 2021. "He's just so elated. He cannot wait for this child to come ... it's a dream come true for both of us."

Nneka also has flowers for Dr. Yemi Adesanya-Famuyiwa at Montgomery Fertility Center.

"She never gave up on me," Nneka says, of the physician. "She kept me motivated, she kept me spiritually strong, and she really believed in the process."

Nneka adds, "I can honestly say, I wouldn't have made it if it wasn't for her."

Related: Karen Huger Enters Rehab, Skips Real Housewives of Potomac Season 9 Reunion After Being Found Guilty for DUI

And now, Nneka is hopeful her story will help other women going through similar strife feel hopeful.

"The process taught me not to be so hard on myself, and I would encourage others in my position take it easy if they can," she notes. "Stay true to yourself; don't let anyone dissuade you from what you want to do. And really, find your community. Those IVF forums became my sanctuary. There are still women in there who I talk to every day, and the bonds we've formed together has been really impactful."

"I know this isn't the end for me," Nneka adds. "I'm already thinking about my next pregnancy, because I want to have a complete family that we desire and now I know that it's possible. It may take a little longer than I anticipated, but at least our child will know that he or she is very much loved. Because we put up one heck of a fight to have to welcome them into this world."

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