Pamela Anderson reflects on 'divine calling' of motherhood, raising sons: 'So proud'

Pamela Anderson is getting deep about motherhood.

The 55-year-old reflected on raising her two sons — Brandon Thomas Lee, 26, and Dylan Jagger Lee, 25 — in her latest newsletter post titled, "A Mother's Heart." Sent to fans on Monday, the "Baywatch" actress admitted in "The Open Journal" that being a mom is "not easy," but there's a powerful, life-changing responsibility that comes with raising a family.

"To be a mother is a divine calling, a sacred duty," the Canadian-born model began in her letter. "We are chosen as vessels for the souls that seek to return home, and it is our responsibility to nourish and protect them.

"Motherhood is not a role that one can take lightly. It requires stability, emotional and financial readiness, and the knowledge that once we become mothers, we are forever mothers. We must be prepared to raise our children, even alone, if necessary, to be their rock and their safe haven. We hold their lives in our hands."

Anderson, who shares her two sons with ex-husband Tommy Lee, continued to explain that the decision to have a baby is "significant," noting that people have a "choice" when they want to start raising children. She also touched on relationships and sex, mentioning that the "cherished act" should be reserved for someone special and that love is a "magical experience."

With parenthood being such a life-changing decision, Anderson warned that having children might expand one's "capacity" to love, but could also "magnify" a couple's issues.

"A healthy family dynamic is ideal, but it is not always the case and sometimes a child is born out of ego or used to manipulate relationships," she continued, adding that sometimes kids become "accessories" to some parents. "In these cases, children suffer greatly. They are our teachers and deserve respect from the moment they are born."

Prior to getting divorced in 1998, Anderson gave birth to Brandon on June 5, 1996 and Dylan on Dec. 29, 1997. She wrote that before she had her two sons, she learned about "natural baby care" from articles in "Mothering" magazine, which helped her concur that "pregnancy is not a sickness" and that she should have water births at her home in Malibu.

Anderson continued to share that on top of reading that magazine, she learned much of her parenting skills — particularly how to raise two boys — through various books. She noted that Jean Liefloff's "The Continuum Concept" was the "most important" book she's ever read, where it encouraged her to raise her children with a "wild instinct."

Emphasizing a desire to learn when to detach from her children to encourage individuation, Anderson further explained how she was always committed to sending her sons to boarding school. She wrote that she valued how the school gently mentored young men about respect and offered a broad education with a sense of freedom.

"My sons were lucky that both their parents, united, though apart, were able to be living examples, exposing them to worldly cultures, travel, art and all kinds of people," Anderson penned in her update. "They were not over-sheltered, but safe. They have seen a lot, and learned what they love with style and grace. They have also learned what they don't want, with humility and without judgement.

"As new moms, we find a fierceness we never knew we had. It grows with maturity and strengthens us, like mother bears. It is true: Our children become the most important part of our life, and we will do anything, sacrifice everything, to ensure their safety."

Anderson continued her update by sharing how challenging it was balancing being a new mom, a burgeoning career in entertainment and her relationship to Lee.

"I was sleep-deprived for the first five years, on pure adrenaline. We had ridiculous work schedules, bringing our kids with us everywhere, without nannies," she shared. "My sons's schedules built into my film and TV contracts, yet, I lost interest in my career, and sadly, also in my husband. It was a lot to ask of a new father. We don't discuss male postpartum enough."

Admitting that they had their "hands full," Anderson shared that she feels she and Lee "let our kids down" by not staying together. She added that while you always connect with whomever you have sex with, there's a deeper connection when you have a child with someone.

"If I had stayed with the father of my boys, we would now be into our 29th year together. That's crazy. I remember thinking how nuts it would be, to be with someone for so long," she wrote. "I can't even tell you that my feelings have changed, only our circumstances.

"I have always loved being a mom. A mission I took on whole heartedly. ... Our kids are like mirrors, they show us who we are. We can bring out the best in each other."

Anderson wrapped up her update by sharing how this past year has been a "profound awakening" that's helped her embrace life.

"I'm getting to know my adult children from a place of wholeness. I'm so proud of the men they have become. ... I'm getting to know my truest self, empowering the artist, letting go of old beliefs, slaying dragons," she shared. "Living in the mystery is a romantic choice, and being brave is magnetic. Trust in the universe. Prepare for greatness, and it will come."

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