People Who Were Married For Less Than A Month Are Sharing The Reason They Got Divorced, And I'm Appalled But Can't Look Away
Please note: this article contains mention of violence and sexual abuse.
Recently, I was browsing stories online about people who got divorced very quickly after marriage. (Don't ask me why.) I read one post from Reddit user balibumblebee on r/Marriage and another from user HANDS-DOWN on r/AskReddit wherein people who had gotten divorced after less than a month were sharing their stories.
Naturally, I had to read on — and some were so compelling that I felt inclined to share. So, here are the most fascinating stories I read about people who got divorced after less than a month of marriage:
1."Immediately after getting legally married, he became crazily possessive and physically abusive. He wouldn't let me out of his sight, wouldn't let me talk to anyone, work, leave the house, said that as his wife I was basically his property, etc. Then he started saying he wanted to have a kid ASAP. I got the fuck out as soon as the first opportunity presented itself."
2."Found out 17 days in that she had been talking to another guy and was only marrying me for my insurance and because I was in the process of trying to donate part of my liver to her."
3."Turns out she's still using."
4."I saw the signs [of abuse] but ignored them. Two weeks after we got married, he showed his true colors. I tried for six months. Worst six months of my life. But I am very happily married [to someone else] now."
5."My cousin... married a really decent-seeming guy. When they got back from [their] honeymoon, he presented her with a handwritten list of things she must do. Most were household tasks like cooking, doing the washing, etc., but as the list went on, it got more creepy."
"She had to cut all contact with family, couldn't see her friends, wasn't allowed out unsupervised. The sad part was she went along with it, and it took her family ages to convince her that this wasn't healthy behavior."
6."My ex-husband didn’t think I listened to the same radio show he did on my morning commute (think Howard Stern-esque). About three weeks after we got married, the two male hosts were sharing stories people wrote in about the best oral sex they’d ever received."
"This idiot didn’t even bother disguising his name, admitted to having just gotten married, and described — in detail — the best BJ of his life... received the night before our wedding, by his best friend’s wife.
They thanked him for sharing his tale after throwing some cheeky insults directed at me while having a good laugh over it."
"As soon as I got to the office I hacked my way into the fucker’s email and went straight for the sent folder."
NBC / Via giphy.com
"He'd sent the email to the radio show the morning prior, within 10 or so minutes of us having a morning shower together (that kind) before parting ways to head to work.
I shared the email to Facebook, tagged all relevant parties, and had the papers filed within 24 hours."
7."In a nutshell, during our honeymoon right after the marriage, I found out she was cheating. Didn't end it on the spot because I didn't fully understand what was happening, and we still had one week of honeymoon to go..."
"After getting back home I did some sneaky research and found out she cheated on me [for] eight months. Wasn't [fun] at all to confront her but it had to be done.
We don't talk to each other anymore."
8."[A friend of mine had] an ex who he had been in love with for years, even though she cheated on him and used him for his money."
"Anyway, she came crawling back to him and they were married within the first month of her being back in his life. Super dumb, I agree, but it wasn't my choice, though I shared how stupid I thought it was.
Well, within the first two weeks of their being married, she managed to spend sixty thousand dollars of his money.
I asked, 'Did you get a prenup?' He said no. I laughed and said, 'She's going to cheat on you again and take your money.' Absolutely insensitive on my part, I agree 100%, it was a dick move. He stopped talking to me for a week, then called me to hang out.
He'd caught her cheating, again, with the same dude she cheated with before. I can proudly say I didn't drop an I-told-you-so; instead, I advised he get [the marriage] annulled immediately so she can't go after any of his savings, investments, or assets.
So there it is. Bonus story, when he took back everything he bought or that was in his name, she broke it first. 10/10 classy broad."
9."I met back up with an old girlfriend from high school about 10 years after we broke up, and [we] hit it off. She left her partner for me and we were 'happy families.' About a year later she got pregnant and was suggesting we start thinking about marriage."
NBC / Via giphy.com
"I was hesitant as I didn’t want to rush anything, but in general we were still very much in love and eventually we tied the knot. Well, as soon as we got married, the relationship declined fast; she seemed distant and not interested, and she was talking to one of her guy friends more often, which was suspicious to me.
In the end, we split, and she hooked up with him. No surprise, but then she did the same thing to him [as she'd done to me], so it seems like a pattern for her. 10 years later, we are on good terms, and our son is happy and all."
10."Got engaged in June 2017. Told her parents I wanted the wedding set up for June 2018, but they arranged everything to be done in January 2018 instead. 'Okay,' I thought. 'No big deal.'"
"November comes and I notice her being secretive with her phone. Found her flirting with another man. 'Okay,' I thought. 'No big deal. She's probably just nervous about the wedding coming up.' Told her to stop and hoped we could just move on.
Come December, it was practically unbearable to be around her. Everything I was doing was wrong, and there was absolutely no way to please her anymore. Found out they were seeing each other while I was at work on the weekends..."
"[We] decided to 'take a break' and let her figure things out because the wedding was basically just weeks away. I thought she would take time to think about it, but I found out that she was seeing the guy every day during the one-week break and having sex with him."
"At this point, I just broke down and started crying, [and] told her I'd forgive her if she still wanted to go through with the wedding. She agreed to stop seeing him and marry me, but she said she wanted to see him just one last time to tell him.
She went to see him, and I later found out they went on a date activity (ax throwing) and dinner together. Probably had sex together too, who knows?"
"We left for the wedding the very next day after that, and basically, she told me not to ask her any questions about anything that happened during the break."
"After about three weeks later, in her home city, we got married. Flew back to our home city, and three days later, she texted me while I was at work: 'Sorry but I'm not coming home to sleep this weekend.' She basically went right back to screwing that guy.
Long story short, I gave her two or three more chances (she kept running back to me when things weren't going her way with the new guy) and eventually found them screwing each other when she wouldn't answer my phone calls one evening. I just knew they were doing it, so I walked into her apartment (they left the doors unlocked) and caught them in the act. Never spoken to her since.
I think I just needed to see that to truly get over it. We were officially over after three weeks, but basically, the marriage died after just three days."
11."[My now] ex-wife asked to marry me. I was young, dumb, and said yes. Three months later, Christmas rolled around [and] she wanted nothing to do with me. Needless to say, it was a great Christmas."
"Sounds like she was more interested in having a wedding than being married."
12."I was with my girl for seven years; we'd known each other for almost 10 by the time we got married. Leading up [to the wedding], I started to have doubts and I chalked it up to cold feet. There were definitely things I didn't like about her personality, which again I thought was normal [when you have been] with someone that long, and I found myself not wanting to be physical with her very much."
"Anyways, I did the obvious thing and married her anyways, hoping it would spark something for me, and lesson learned: it definitely didn't. I played it out for a while, we had a honeymoon scheduled a few months after the wedding, [and] I again was hoping something would spark and I'd turn a corner with how I was feeling.
The honeymoon came and went and nothing changed. The worst part was being in paradise seeing all these couples and knowing they were probably going at it like bunnies in their rooms while I didn't really want to do anything with my now-wife."
"Fast-forward a little bit I was really busy so it was easy to play off, I was telling myself I would fake it until I made it but I found myself feeling more and more detached, and I know I was getting distant, so at one point she asks me what's going on and I told her how I was feeling."
"Within a month I'd moved out, waiting now to do a (hopefully) non-contested divorce because it's been too long for an annulment.
I messed up, I made a big mistake and I know it. Unlike a lot of these stories, I never proved she cheated or anything, she is a nice person most of the time, wanted to be physical a lot more than I did in the relationship, I never cheated on her, we were just best friends, but at the end of the day I didn't LOVE her...
During the wedding, I didn't even think about my feelings until after the party was over. I was just having a good time with all my close friends and family. I know I hurt someone badly who really didn't deserve it, [and the] worst part is I don't feel bad for how I feel, I feel worse knowing how she feels, and I'm really worried she's going to get a lawyer and screw me over in the divorce."
13."I got a job in another country to start nine months later, and at the time, we were thinking of getting back together. We decided to enjoy our time together (we had regrets about our first go-round and at least wanted to enjoy each other's company before I left) and continue with a relationship."
"During those months we traveled together and became a lot closer, including one long two-month trip. As the date for me to leave neared, we panicked and found our only option was to get married.
We fought for months to make our way through multiple bureaucracies. On a break from work, I flew to meet her in a third country, and we got married there. Then, a couple of months later, we had her visa, and she was with me in our new country.
Not exactly your question, but it was about a month and a half after she arrived that she left."
"What happened? I don't know. I wasn't ready to be married. She wasn't ready to be a partner, in the grander sense of career and planning and whatnot. Mostly though I think it was just an impossible situation."
"From my perspective, I was exhausted from planning everything. She let me imbibe my worst tendencies towards laziness, when I had imagined we would go do things together (it's hard to be motivated to go out when it doesn't seem like the other person really wants to).
Whereas before the 'what if' question ate me up inside, after I realized these problems weren't going away it was a pretty quick and easy decision for her to go home. I felt like we had tried our best and failed, and I was ok with that.
The whole thing fell apart in less than a week. I often question that, but always conclude the decision was correct. I think the problems that split us up existed long before under the surface so it wasn't really out of nowhere. I do feel guilty because for her it may well have been completely out of nowhere."
"I still sort of consider her my wife; we call each other 'dear' still; if I ever got around to arranging the particulars, I would have her inherit everything if I died. I don't pine for her or love her romantically, but she's someone I cared for a lot. I don't plan on ever seeing her again."
14."He got a woman pregnant while deployed in Japan. We got married a week before he left. 🙄"
15."This happened to my grandmother. In her early '70s, she decided she wanted companionship and started seeing an old friend who felt the same."
"After the wedding, he started expecting her to wait on him hand and foot. She never did that for Grandpa while he was alive and wasn’t going to start now. It wasn’t even a month before she had moved back out and to her place again."
16."All the issues we had before were not magically fixed because we were married. I didn’t want to go through with the wedding, but couldn’t bring myself to break up."
"I also felt sort of trapped because we had spent a large amount of money, and our parents had contributed as well. We had lived together for years so I chalked it up to cold feet.
Honestly, I was dumb and immature and wish I would’ve handled it so many other ways."
17."It was a fairytale kind of day in good ol' Vegas. Never saw it coming. He decided 19 minutes after we got back to our hotel that he was going to choke me up against the wall. He had never put his hands on me before this, not even a raised voice."
"Both of us were in the military, as well as my coworkers, who joined us for the ceremony. He wanted to do his own thing instead of joining us. He left his ring, his phone, and his wallet on the nightstand and disappeared for four days.
He popped up on our last day, as we were walking to the parking garage to head back to San Diego. He, a Marine, went on a four-day coke binge.
Nine days from getting married, I went back and filed for an annulment, never [having] consummated, which is grounds for an annulment/divorce, apparently. Checked off more than three of the reasons for separation. He drew it out for seven months, tried to get me to pay him spousal support and help him pay off his debt (30k), and bought a very loaded Mitsubishi Evo. ="
"He only took it seriously because his [new] fiancé was very pregnant and wanted the papers so they could get married. She was seven months along, if not more, so clearly I missed something while we were living in separate cities."
ABC / Via giphy.com
"He literally went into hiding so I wouldn't be able to have him served with the papers.
Never showed up to court. Eventually after he played his 'I want marriage counseling/don't want to divorce' card, he did respond. It didn't take long for the judge to be over it and eventually granted it once he missed two court dates in a row."
18.And finally: "He went to jail twice for domestic violence, had a pregnant girlfriend on the side, had two children he hid, and he ended up having seven counts of sexual exploitation of a minor."
"Luckily my dad's a divorce attorney and got me an annulment in a place where that's regarded as extremely unusual."
If you have thoughts on these you want to share, I want to see them in the comments! And if you yourself had a short marriage, feel free to share your story. Or, if you want to share but prefer to stay anonymous, you can check out this anonymous Google form.
Who knows — your story may be included in an upcoming BuzzFeed article!
Note: some comments have been edited for length and/or clarity.
