"I Filed For Divorce The Next Day": 18 People Are Revealing The Horrendous Ways Their Partner Betrayed Their Trust

Note: This post discusses abuse. 

Being betrayed by a romantic partner is one of the worst feelings to experience. Whether it involves a partner cheating, withholding information about money, or abandoning their loved one during a very difficult time, it means the trust was violated in some way — which can be hard to bounce back from.

Since this unfortunately happens a lot in romantic relationships, I asked the BuzzFeed Community: "What is the biggest relationship betrayal you have ever experienced?" and people provided incredibly vulnerable answers. Here's what they had to say below:

1."After being in a relationship with this guy for six years and living together for five during the pandemic, he let his friend move into our house without asking me or even telling me. After years of disrespectful actions on his part, this was the last straw, and I broke up with him. When I asked him why he would let someone move into the home that we shared without asking or telling me, his response was, 'Because I knew that you'd say no.' Wow."

2."After an argument one night, my girlfriend of two years went to her best friend's house and had a threesome with him and his partner. No coming back from that! Goodbye!"

—Emma, 30, Norwich

3."I started seeing someone, and he asked me to be his girlfriend pretty early into dating, but I figured, why not, because we had been seeing each other very frequently and talking all day. There were some red flags, but when I brought them to his attention, he would always have a believable answer or just brushed it off. (Background: I had a boyfriend who previously did me dirty, so I wasn't sure if I was just being anxious or not). Fast-forward a couple of months, and things were going well, but I still felt something was up, and I had no proof or really anything to go off of besides a feeling. Then, one day, his mom had to come over because she needed help with her iPad, and she said the code out loud. My boyfriend's reaction to the code being said aloud caught my attention, and something inside of me told me to write that code down. The day went on, and we all hung out and had a good day."

4."He lied about our finances. I put him in charge of the utilities because he had bad credit. He hid that he didn't pay them for three months in a row. We received notices. That is trust broken; I felt like I could rely or depend on him as a partner. I also found out that the reason my ex-fiancé proposed to me was to shut me up with a ring. He wasn't completely honest about his feelings and said I talked him into it. Knowing that doesn't make me feel good; it's not a good reason to propose. I shouldn't have to convince someone to marry."

—claire90278

5."We weren’t married, but our names were on the home title together. His parents had gifted us the down payment. I’d been a stay-at-home mom at his request and didn’t have any money of my own. He and his parents lied to his lawyer about the down payment and said it had been a loan. Two days after he left me, he conspired with his lawyer dad and sent his mom a text that said, 'She knows it was a loan and acknowledges that that’s the case.' A total fabrication meant to keep me from my equity in the house. In the end, we settled at half because the legal fees would have broken me. I found out later that, just after he left me, his parents had purchased him a brand new home. The model home of a new development, fully furnished with all the model furniture, art, etc. His toddler, infant, and I had to move in with my parents."

6."After four years together, he came home and said he was gay. He wrote an entire letter coming out to me. I felt absolutely terrible for him because I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to do that. His family was pretty conservative, so he wanted me to keep it a secret, and, of course, I did. I moved out, and a few weeks later, he was dating another girl whom he met while we were together and told everyone I lied about the story. Still so fucked up!"

—zannotxan

7."Swearing up and down that they would do half of the work of having a child, but then doing a complete 180 mid-pregnancy by mocking my appearance, openly flirting with others in front of me, and acting embarrassed of me in the hospital. Then, they completely dropped the ball by refusing to get up to do diapers and ‘forgetting’ how to do or deliberately botch basic child and home tasks, including feeding and changing the baby. They also stayed out late, got drunk, slept in, and left whenever for whatever, but complained loudly about how much work and how little sleep they were getting in public. I wish I could walk, but shared custody would be way worse."

8."He slept with all four of my sisters."

—Sabrina, 36, California

9."I was with a guy for five years. We were 'engaged,' but I found out he was using me to get residency status in Canada. He was an American running from something, but I don't know what. Criminal charges, maybe. He was a narcissist, and everything he ever told me for five years was a complete lie. He stole from me, cheated on me, and abused me. He also lied and said his Mom died on 9/11 when she was alive and well. He's the worst person I have ever met in my life."

10."My ex went out with another woman. He got caught by a mutual friend. To cover his ass, he tried to convince me he’d gone with me, and I’d just forgotten. The kicker is it was summer, and they went on a walk to the river. She wore a bikini top. I have never in my life worn a bikini top. Why do I know what she was wearing? My ex tried to inception me into believing I did wear one. This was after I found a picture of him on social media holding another woman’s bra. That relationship was a hot mess."

—rivers82

11."Using my name, date of birth, and social security number to take out credit cards and skyrocket my debt."

12."Before we were married, I discovered that my then-fiancé would secretly watch porn before having sex with me and would only want to have sex with me if he had watched it. I confronted him about it and told him how hurt I was by it and how unattractive and undesirable it made me feel. He promised he wouldn’t do it again, but I caught him doing it twice after that, and he lied about it both times. We got married and are still together, but our sex life has all but dwindled. I love him so much, but I don't know if I can ever trust him enough again to be intimate with him."

—Anonymous

13."Maybe this is not some ultra betrayal, but I accidentally opened my then-partner's email instead of mine on the shared computer. I noticed he was exchanging emails with a friend, so I got curious and started reading. He wrote that I'm a great person, but he doesn't need me in his life."

14."My ex was horribly abusive, but one moment that stands out is this: My ex had some kind of stomach bug, and I sat next to them while they were throwing up; I got them a blanket, I kept them hydrated, and I looked after them. A short while later, I got the same stomach bug, and while I was hurling, my ex was nowhere to be found. In fact, they shouted up to me that our dinner was ready, and I was FORCED to choke down a huge meal, then they scolded and glared at me every second it took me to eat it. Unsurprisingly, I left their disgusting ass, and I'm much happier now!"

—lucyt410579ade

15."My ex-fiancé (seven years together, six years living together, one and a half years engaged) was a manipulative narcissist, and it has taken me up until recently to realize that everyone he said was awful was actually how he felt internally and not how I was treating him. We’ve been broken up for less than six months, and I found out a few days ago that he had recently married. He proposed almost two months after he wrote me a love note, trying to win me back. He used the money he took from me during our breakup to buy the ring."

16."I grew up in a very dysfunctional, abusive family and learned how to survive at an early age. I told a lot of stories so people would like me and see past my home life. Lying came easily to me, and the older I got, I started to feel guilty about it. People should like me for me, right? By the time we were dating, I had already begun to work on myself to be a better person. From time to time, I would creep back into insecurity, tell a foolish white lie, immediately correct it, and apologize. I felt safe around him, so I opened up to him about my past. The asshole wrote a college Intro to Psych paper about me and asked his mom to proofread it. I was mortified. I hate who I was. I hate him more for exposing it."

—Anonymous, 43, Arkansas

17."My partner made the decision to move across the country without discussing it with me. He didn’t tell me about it until he’d already finalized everything. Prior to this, we’d been talking about the feasibility of moving in together, other states we might like to live in, etc., so I thought we were on the same page about taking this step together. Another important aspect of this story is that we are in an ethical, non-monogamy relationship, and he moved in with his other partner. We are still together, but it’s really shaken up my trust in him, as well as left me feeling very jealous and like a second fiddle. I’m still trying to decide if I can deal with all this and stay in the relationship or not."

18."My (now ex) husband made me get a Lyft to the ER when I told him I was depressed, I had some really dark thoughts, and that I really needed immediate help. I checked myself into a hospital for eight days. I didn’t tell my ex where I was or communicate with him during that time (only with my parents) and had my dad pick me up when I was discharged. I filed for divorce the next day, had a moving service pack up my belongings, and never saw my ex in person again."

—Elle, 39, Missouri

Have you ever experienced a relationship betrayal? Tell us what happened in the comments below:

The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.