People Are Sharing The Moment They Realized They Were Dating A Moron, And It's Actually Hilarious
A few months ago, I wrote a post where members of the BuzzFeed Community shared the most idiotic things their exes had said. And a lot more people had their own stories to share in the comments, so here are some of the funniest and dumbest things people's exes once said:
1."I was in a fight with my now ex-boyfriend, and at one point in the argument, I said, 'Do you need me to reiterate!?' to which he replied, 'NO! I want you to repeat yourself!!!' I then yelled back, 'What do you think REITERATE MEANS?!' I've never heard such a humiliating silence in my life. It was glorious."
2."I’m a vegetarian and was dating a guy who had no problem with it. He even loved cooking me vegetarian meals. But then he told me I’d have to start eating meat soon. I asked him why. He said, 'Because if you don’t, you’ll die since you’re not getting the right proteins.' I told him he was probably thinking of vegans, but even they can get all the necessary proteins as long as they make sure to eat the right foods. As a vegetarian, I got all the necessary proteins from eggs and milk. Nope, he was still certain I was going to die if I didn’t start eating meat. Um, bro, if I survived 25 years as a vegetarian, I think I’ll be okay."
3."Doctor asked him, 'How did you get food poisoning twice from the same dish?' He said, 'Hey doc, whatever doesn’t off ya only makes you stronger.' The doctor replied, 'No, it actually makes you incredibly sick.'"
4."They asked me, 'Which one's the female, the lion or the tiger?'"
5."My ex told me that the government created ticks (the bugs) so no one could live off the grid."
6."My ex, when I told him I had a meeting with the Dean of Liberal Arts, said, 'Why isn’t there a Dean of Conservative things, too? This is why Republicans say they hate colleges! Y’all could fix politics so fast.'"
7."My ex accidentally left a can of Mountain Dew in the freezer too long. She then decided she would put it in the microwave to thaw it out just enough to drink it. Sparks flew and she ruined the microwave. Then she was afraid to touch the can because she thought she would get electrocuted...because of the lightning that was shooting off the can."
8."An ex of mine was having body odor issues, so one day I brought it up in the nicest way possible by asking him what his favorite deodorant brand was. His reply? 'Men don't wear deodorant, only women do.'"
9."I lived on the sixth floor, and his first time over he asked as we were leaving if he needed to press the down button six times to summon the elevator. Bewildered, I said yes, then watched him do it. That was that."
10."My ex asked me (a British person who moved from England to America) how hard it was to learn English when I got to the USA."
11."In high school, I dated a guy who legit thought all cats were girls and all dogs were boys and that they would mate."
12."I once dated someone who pronounced the 'T' in buffet when referring to the type of restaurant."
13."My ex would eat raw meat from the supermarket. He enjoyed the flavor and believed he was immune to bacterial infections since he’d never gotten sick from it. A few weeks after I discovered this, he was hospitalized with salmonella from raw chicken. He swore he’d never eat raw chicken again after that experience, but he still eats other meat raw, including bacon."
14.My high school boyfriend once said, 'I’m taking psychology or sociology…one of those 'S' words.”
15."He told me that Adam and Eve were historical figures and dinosaurs were a myth."
16."I once dated someone who would not accept that people are animals. She kept saying, 'We're people! Not animals! How can we be both?!' She couldn't understand how we could possibly fall into more than one category."
17.And lastly, "My ex would only drink whole milk because when he saw 2% milk, he thought, What’s the other 98%? He thought he was a genius."
