A Beverly Hills teen who calls herself “a princess” is furious at her mother for slashing her monthly $5K allowance.
Fifteen-year-old Nicolette, who appeared on the Dr. Phil show Tuesday, has lived a lavish California childhood — a closet full of Chanel, Gucci, and Céline, personal drivers, exercise trainers, and her own credit card with zero limit. “Some months, her credit card bills would be $10K,” her mother, Nina, told Dr. Phil. “I just paid the bill.”
She added, “In the past year, I’ve probably have given her $100,000, I don’t even keep track anymore.”
Nina had initially given her daughter a $5,000 monthly allowance “to cover her expenses” but recently reduced it to $1,000, an amount Nicolette says makes her “feel like a peasant.”
Nicolette brought her mom onto Dr. Phil to compromise at a monthly stipend of $2,500, and their appearance made people angry on Twitter. Really angry.
However, Nina admits she spoils her daughter due to guilt over being a single working mom who is rarely home. And Nicolette, who attends online high school, is angry at their lack of quality time. “Other people would have their moms drive them places, buy them food, make them food,” she says. “But I have to do everything myself. And I need the funds for that.”
Nicolette added, “You created me … you raised me. You should have done better. … I was never loved as a child. I feel like I never was. She just gave me money. … I feel like she ruined my whole childhood.”
It’s understandable to label Nicolette a brat and Nina a deadbeat, but according to Sharon Silver, creator of the Proactive Parenting website, the teen deserves empathy. “She has been trained to value material things,” she tells Yahoo Lifestyle, “So it’s unsurprising that she’s raging at losing what she learned meant love.”
What the mother needs to do, says Silver, is prioritize unbreakable quality time to establish an emotional connection and stop indulging her daughter. “I’d also advise removing any over-the-top possessions and have the girl earn them back with good behavior.”
Most importantly, Nina owes it to her daughter to be direct about her upbringing. “This teen is old enough for that conversation,” says Silver. “Withholding love and connection is a form of emotional abuse and the mom needs to be honest with herself and her daughter about how she parents.”
Dr. Deborah Gilboa, a parenting and youth development expert, also has hope for the mother-daughter pair. “This mom has decided to course correct her teen — at age 16, when other parents may have given up — and she should continue trusting her instincts,” she tells Yahoo Lifestyle, adding, “There will be pushback, but it is not too late.”
“The most important parenting value right now is consistency,” she says. “If this mom can do that, her daughter will respect her so much more.”
Read more from Yahoo Lifestyle: