Rob Lowe Shares 2 Secrets to His 31-Year Marriage: 'Forgiveness' and 'You Gotta Keep the Heat'

The Unstable star says marriage "is hard anywhere, it is not just Hollywood – it's everywhere"

Arnold Jerocki/WireImage Rob Lowe and wife Sheryl
Arnold Jerocki/WireImage Rob Lowe and wife Sheryl

Rob Lowe is revealing the secret to making his 31-year marriage to wife Sheryl Berkoff work.

On the latest episode of iHeartRadio's Table for Two with Bruce Bozzi podcast, the 59-year-old actor opened up about how finding the right partner leads to lasting love.

"[Marriage] is hard anywhere, it is not just Hollywood – it's everywhere," he told host Bruce Bozzi. "Sheryl was and is my best friend. So if you marry for anything other than the fact that is your best friend, you're at a disadvantage from the jump, because that will sustain when the other stuff ebbs and flows."

getty Rob Lowe and wife Sheryl Berkoff
getty Rob Lowe and wife Sheryl Berkoff

Related:Rob Lowe Gushes over Wife Sheryl Berkoff on 31st Anniversary: 'Your Love Has Made My World'

The Unstable star adds that he believes that forgiveness allows a relationship to move forward, sharing, "People say marriage takes work. I'm not sure if it takes work, but what it does take is forgiveness, and being really cognizant of what hill you're willing to die on."

Lowe admitted that keeping the physical spark alive is another important factor in a successful long-term relationship.

"I do believe you need the heat for sure," he shared. "If you don't have the heat – and that's a chemical thing – I mean I still have it with Sheryl, you gotta keep the heat."

He continued: "That comes and goes too, there are times when you are like, 'Nah.' And then there are times when you are wild for somebody."

Arnold Jerocki/WireImage Rob Lowe and wife Sheryl
Arnold Jerocki/WireImage Rob Lowe and wife Sheryl

Related:Rob Lowe on Wife Sheryl Being 'the Sexiest, Most Beautiful, Complicated, Entertaining' Partner

Lowe and Berkoff have been married since 1991. They first met when the two worked together on Rob's 1990 erotic thriller, Bad Influence. The pair share two sons, Matthew Edward Lowe, 30, and John Owen Lowe, 28.

In July, The West Wing alum honored Berkoff on their 31st wedding anniversary by sharing a picture of her on Instagram and penning a sweet note to her in the caption.

"Happy 31st Anniversary, baby," he wrote on Friday. "Your love has made my world. You are as beautiful, knowledgeable, fascinating, kind, and hilarious as you were so many glorious years ago."

"Partners in love for life!!" he added.

Related:Rob Lowe Wishes 'Love of My Life' Sheryl Berkoff a Happy 61st Bday: 'You're the Whole Package'

Last year, the 9-1-1: Lone Star star opened up to PEOPLE about seeing something truly special in Berkoff since the start of their relationship.

"I had the feeling that if I was ever going to be able to make it work with anybody, it was Sheryl," Lowe said as he recalled feeling "seen" for the first time in his life.

The actor also shared during the interview that he remained forever grateful that Berkoff took a chance on him.

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"She saw things in me that nobody had ever seen before," he said at the time before calling his marriage to Berkoff one of life's greatest "miracles."

"I still think she's the hottest, sexiest, most beautiful, insane, complicated, entertaining person that I know, in addition to being a great mother," he added of his wife.

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