If she is ‘proceeded’ in death in her obit, she will come back to haunt proofreader
The first column I wrote for this newspaper was about the importance of the obituary page. I found it to be compelling and necessary, and that still holds true.
It’s impossible to record what happens every day, everywhere. Newspaper editors are challenged with ranking relevance, import, timeliness and, of course, death and drama within print pages and online. I was an editor once, but the subject was local music, when and where to find it, so it wasn’t much of a daily dilemma.
When a life is over, family, friends or caregivers have a chance to announce that this person is gone. Don’t call, don’t leave a message, but read this in the paper: a testimony that this someone is here no longer.
I’ve written about friends and family who have passed more than once, but breaking news, it keeps happening. And it still has the ability to stun me and have me reaching for the tissue box.
I ran across the Sunday obits in the San Francisco Examiner a couple of months ago. Some of the life stories played out like movie pitches. Sure: Emphasize the dramatic high points. But one was about how sad the deceased was with the way her life went. She named names and laid blame before she went. It’s called “having the last word.” And you know it had to be most satisfying for her, as she knew she wouldn’t have to face the people who had hurt her.
A few years ago in the Star, I read an account of the passing of a resident in an Old Soldier’s Home, in extremely rural Kansas. He was a WWI vet, and it was clear that his personal history was told to someone who may have been a stranger when they met, but saw him through and listened until his death. It read as if this person took thoughtful, careful notes of dates and memories over numerous comfortable conversations and cups of tea. Everyone close in his life had died, and in case anyone came looking, he had disappeared, too.
Not surprisingly, the best obits are personal and read like short stories. They involve love, work and tasty details. Using a nickname is nice, as this might help find them in the stratosphere. They might belatedly receive the paper in some heavenly driveway and check out their exit. It really is a last chapter, and sometimes surprises with late-breaking info unknown until publication (a nod to an ex, an unacknowledged sibling from another life).
I’ve spent a minute thinking about my own, when I go, and what bothers me most is that there is always a possibility that someone will “accidentally” mistype the phrase “She was proceeded” in death, instead of “She was preceded.” (I have sadly seen this more than once.) If I weren’t already gone, I would die of embarrassment, and I might exact revenge from beyond.
There are typos that matter, and typos that don’t. This one does, and should be the first test of every proofreader. Not everybody was an English major, and an obit may be submitted grammatically incorrectly, but any newspaper editor should know the difference between these two words, their definitions and function.
This is a factual record, and should be edited to include the right words.
Concluding with obits is apt for now, as this is my final column in this newspaper. It’s not because I’m preceded in death, but because I will proceed to find a next literary opportunity.
Contact Ellen Murphy at murphysister04@gmail.com
