Single Women Homeowners: 4 Buyers Share Their Experience Purchasing Property Alone

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In late 2023, Fanta Kaba, a tech professional and entrepreneur, told her landlord that she would not be renewing her lease in Seattle. Her remote job gave her flexibility, and she spent the next nine months between her parents home in the Bronx and a friend’s place in Washington state. “I had a little bit of a buffer to save some money going back and forth between Seattle and New York,” she says. “I’m very grateful I was able to use that time to save money.” In April 2024, she signed her name to a new housing agreement—this time not a lease, but a mortgage.

Kaba is one example of a well-publicized statistic: that single women outpace their male counterparts when it comes to homeownership. In 2023, a Pew Research Center survey found that single women owned 58% of houses owned by unmarried Americans, while single men owned 42%. A 2024 survey by LendingTree offered similar results, showing that 10% of single men owned homes compared to 13% of single women. Even going back to 1981, single men represented 10% of homebuyers, while single women represented 11%.

Researchers have offered various theories to explain the discrepancy, including the fact that women statistically live longer—meaning some homeowners are single because their spouses passed away. Disproportionate caregiving responsibilities may also come into play. “They’re more likely to be single moms, and they’re more likely to be purchasing a multigenerational home,” Jessica Lautz, the National Association of Realtors’ chief economist, told The Hill. “So, they may have an elderly relative within that home as well.”

This was a factor for Aimee Lee Lucas, a real estate agent and single mother, who bought a home in Knoxville, Tennessee, in 2022. At the beginning of 2020, she was living in LA and found out that she was unexpectedly pregnant—and already in her third trimester. She decided to move to Knoxville, where her sister lived, to be closer to family. “My brother-in-law suggested I get into real estate, and after getting my license, selling my first properties, and absorbing all of that knowledge, I thought I was finally able to achieve homeownership,” Lucas says. She saved for about two years while living with her sister and raising her child. “It wasn’t always glamorous and I worked really hard, but I was really proud when I was finally able to buy.”

There could also be reasons that aren’t as easy to quantify. “I think a lot of women are prioritizing homeownership more because, for many men, it’s just assumed that at some point they’re going to own a home,” Chamberlain Collier, an attorney who bought her home by herself in 2023, says. It was only in 1900 that all US states recognized women’s property ownership rights, while topics of money and wealth have historically excluded females (women weren’t guaranteed the ability to open their own bank accounts until 1974). “For men, it might just be a next step for them at some point in their lives, whereas for women, we have to make a conscious effort.”

For Collier, financial reasons inspired her to buy a home. “It’s one of the safest ways to invest your money,” she says. “Property values usually go up, and rarely go down. Even in just a year and a half, I’ve gained a pretty substantial amount of equity in my home.”

Kaba also saw homeownership as a path to financial security and stability. “I originally wanted a multifamily home so I could rent out part of it, but that was very expensive, especially in New York” she says. Eventually she found a property in Bowie, Maryland. Though it was designed as a single-family residence, it had separate living and bathroom spaces across floors that made it possible to have a tenant. “My mom, who has never owned a home, was the one who first introduced me to the concept. She had the acumen of knowing that if you buy and have a tenant, that can help you pay your mortgage.”

This wasn’t the only way her parents and upbringing influenced her decision. “I always knew that I wanted to own a home because I wanted agency,” Kaba explains. Her parents emigrated from Guinea when she was a young child, and she says the hurdles they experienced with landlords inspired her to pursue home ownership. “I am a first-generation American and have three younger sisters, and I wanted to set that precedence,” she says. “And being first-gen, especially the first child, you do have that added pressure of being a parent’s retirement plan. I wanted the safety of having a place so if something were to happen, my parents would always have a place to stay.”

Alyssa Meza, a fintech professional, bought her home after growing up in extreme poverty. “Poverty PTSD is real, and for a very long time, housing felt like something that could be taken away. Ever since I was a kid, my biggest goal was to own a home. I didn’t want to wait until marriage or until I had a partner to do it with,” she says.

By 30, she became debt-free after paying off her student loans, and turned her attention to potential homeownership. “I got preapproved for a loan, and I was shocked. I felt like I had to be more established and didn’t realize I was there yet.” However, once it came time to tour potential homes, she started experiencing a number of disparaging comments. At open houses, realtors would regularly ask if her “husband” was joining and if they should wait for him, or if her boyfriend was the person buying.

When she closed, “the first thing they asked was if my husband would be joining, and I just thought, Did you not read the paperwork? It’s just me. When the lender came in, he said congratulations to my boyfriend, who just came to celebrate with me,” she remembers. “When they learned I was the buyer, they acted so shocked and in awe. That made me even more upset.”

She later shared her experience online, and was disheartened to read comments from other women who had had similar experiences. “It killed me how many people could relate,” she says. Looking back on it, these interactions “tainted the experience for me to a certain degree, but I try not to look at it too negatively, because ultimately it motivated me.”

Not every buyer has these experiences, but there are still other challenges that come with buying a home alone, regardless of gender. “I didn’t have any discriminatory experiences, but it was very stressful,” Kaba says of her home-buying experience. “I found the house on the fifth of the month and had to close on the 30th, so there was a lot happening all at once.” Though she had friends and family for support, she says having another buyer involved—whether a friend, partner, or family member—would have helped lighten some of the emotional burden.

Collier shared a similar experience. “It’s overwhelming,” she says. “You can’t just go buy a book with a list of everything that could happen, because it’s such an individualized process for each person.”

Many suggest finding people to be in your corner, both personally and professionally. A good realtor is integral—perhaps even one who shares a similar background. “My real estate agent was a woman and she is also a first-generation immigrant, and it was great to have someone like that throughout the process. I was able to share my fears and concerns, and she truly understood,” Kaba says. Collier also recommends finding a broker who is well versed in working with first-time homebuyers.

However, self-education is also important. “Having knowledge, getting education, asking the right questions…all the information is free, and no one can take it away from you once you know it,” Lucas, the Knoxville-based realtor, says. Kaba agrees. “Knowledge gives you the freedom to make decisions, even if that means not buying a home,” she says.

Now homeowners, the women interviewed for this story expressed deep sentiments of pride. And despite challenges, all say it was worth any struggles. “Though there were negative moments, it was very surreal and something I’ll always remember,” Meza says. “Being able to buy a home was truly one of the greatest feelings of my entire life.”

Originally Appeared on Architectural Digest

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