Gronk achieves his final destiny, becomes Florida Man
Morning, folks! Here’s a story we didn’t expect to talk about today: Gronk’s back! Yes, Rob Gronkowski is returning to the NFL — to Tampa Bay! — throwing the entire sports world a perfectly sterile, non-corona-contaminated life preserver.
The news rocketed across social media late Tuesday afternoon, a story that transformed in rapid order from “Gronk hasn’t closed the door on a return” to “Gronk wants to come back” to “Gronk had a physical” to “New England traded Gronk to Tampa Bay.” Yes, it was that fast.
Seriously, if you took a decent afternoon nap, you fell asleep in one world and awoke in another … a world where Tampa, Florida, of all places, is now the white-hot center of the NFL universe.
The Bucs already had the GOAT at quarterback, a lethal receiving corps, and a coach willing to cut them all loose. Adding the Human Gasparilla Festival to that mix is borderline unfair.
Sure, there are plenty of valid football-related questions surrounding Gronk’s return. He was already a shadow of his former self in 2018; what will he have in the tank after 18 months away from the game? How will he fit into Bruce Arians’ offense with two other tight ends currently on the roster? Will he have to surrender his WWE 24/7 belt?
Plus, there’s palace intrigue at play here. The Patriots still controlled Gronkowski’s rights. But clearly Gronk chose Tom Brady over Bill Belichick. Are these the first cracks in the Foxborough Mystique? Has the Patriot Way run its course? Will Gronk lose his security deposit on his Davis Islands rental house in four hours, or just three?
Bottom line: There’s absolutely zero downside for anyone involved here. The legacies of Brady and Gronk are already carved in stone. Arians is playing with house money. The Bucs, and every team they play on the road, are going to sell out every game, and the bars of Ybor City, once they reopen, will need to double their staff to keep up with the Gronktourage.
This is going to be fun, whenever it kicks off.
_____
Jay Busbee is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Follow him on Twitter at @jaybusbee or contact him with tips and story ideas at jay.busbee@yahoo.com.
More from Yahoo Sports:
