15 Wildly Dumb Things People Have Said With Absolute Confidence
Although it's totally normal to say silly things every now and then, sometimes, someone says something so bewildering that you literally stare in confusion. So when Reddit user Parlemagazine asked: "What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard someone say with absolute confidence?" over 3,000 people shared their experiences. Here are some of the top stories below.
1."My neighbor said, 'Too bad your solar panels will be making less electricity now that Daylight Savings Time has ended.'"
2."I had to write a different birth date on my account application because there is no Feb. 29th."
3."At a petting zoo: Child (pointing at animal): 'What’s that?' Mom: 'It’s a deer; you can tell by the ears.' It was a kangaroo."
"I recently saw a meme explaining that kangaroos are deer that went to prison. I can see the connection."
4."My cousin has said some belters over the years:"
• "He thought Australia (we're in England) was at least two days in front of us, so he thought he could travel, watch the cricket, and call home to tell us the results and bet without losing. Took nearly an hour to explain his errors and the 24-hour clock.
• When NASA said they had found signs of water on Mars, he literally thought it was actual signs saying 'water this way.'
• 'The moon landings are fake.' He's been to Cape Canaveral and also has the Saturn V Lego. I think he's starting to believe the flat Earth BS, too.
• His mates convinced him camels laid eggs. Years later, when some of us found out on Xbox chat, he denied it and said it was all lies. Then, he later said, 'Anyway, it wasn't camels, it was donkeys!'"
5."You’re from Alaska?! How do you speak such good English?!"
"An acquaintance told me he was not going to live in the US because Biden won the 2020 election. He then proudly proclaimed that he was moving to Alaska."
6."Dude, Afghanistan is in Iraq!"
7."One of the reasons I left teaching is because I was working with a student after school for an extra math session. He told me that half of 50 is zero. I thought I had misheard him, so I asked him to repeat it, and he said, 'Half of 50 is zero, right?' I corrected him and moved on. Later, in the teacher's lounge, another math teacher told me, 'I know exactly what he did. He split the number in half vertically. Half of 50 is five, and the other half is zero.' That's when I knew I had to leave teaching for a while. There was no way I could think like that, and I felt like I could not help my students anymore."
8."I had a teacher once tell me that Blackbeard the pirate was an imaginary figure. I — a huge history nerd at the time — told them he was real and his name was Edward Teach. They said, 'Yeah, in the stories, that is his name.'"
9."As kids, my sister pointed out that she could see the moon (it was sunny and daytime). My stepdad says, 'It’s not the moon. You can’t see that during the day.' And my mom goes, with so much matter-of-fact confidence, 'When the sun goes down, the moon comes up.' My sister and I looked at each other in disbelief, then we looked back at the moon that we could clearly see and just shook our heads."
—hme4
10."In my 10th grade US history class, we were talking about the space race. One kid kept insisting that the moon landing was fake because 'you can see in the video that they have shadows, and there are no lightbulbs on the moon!' We all thought he was joking at first, but no. He was not."
11."Pasteurized milk is from cows that are let out to a pasture. I’m weak; I couldn’t correct them because I was so shocked. I think I said something like, 'Are you sure?!'"
12."An ex-friend was very dumb and arrogant. He snapped his fingers at a waiter and said. 'Look at this dish, I ordered a beefsteak tomato salad. Do you see any beef or steak?????'"
"Did he also send his gazpacho back because it was cold?"
13."A guy from work told me (a woman) that women can’t feel it when they have kidney stones because the stones just fall out since they can push out babies through the same hole."
"My own father told me (a mother of three) that my mom didn’t need surgery when they tied her tubes because when a woman has a baby, her organs come out with the baby, and the doctors tie the tubes and then put them back up there."
14."That men don’t lose control of their emotions like women do. Said directly after a bar brawl where a bunch of men threw hysterical hissy-fits because someone played music they didn’t like on the jukebox."
15."I was at my very racist grandfather’s house one night a few years before he died. I don't know how it came up or what we were talking about in particular, but we were on the subject of Egypt. I must have mentioned something about Egypt being in Africa because my grandfather laughed and, very condescendingly, told me Egypt is not in Africa. I don’t remember where he thought it was, probably the Middle East, but I told him Egypt is definitely in Northeastern Africa. He eventually told me to go get his globe (he was rich and had very old-time decor). I got the globe and immediately pointed Egypt out to him. He then said the globe was wrong."
"I was a public librarian, and you’d be amazed at how many people would ask, 'Are you SURE that’s right?' when given the correct answer from an absolutely verified source."
Has someone ever said something so silly to your face that you couldn't believe your ears? If so, we want to hear all about it. Share your story either in the anonymous Google form or in the comments below.
