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As A "Vanderpump Rules" Fan, I Finally Made A Pumptini At Home, And I'll Be Honest, It Was Low-Key Disgusting

It's time for a new season of Vanderpump Rules, and as excited as I am, I do feel like it was just yesterday that we were trying to wrap our heads around the Scandoval saga. Where did the time GO??

images from a vanderpump rules episode
Casey Durkin/Bravo, Nicole Weingart/Bravo

In honor of having some excitement back on my Tuesday nights, and since James Kennedy shouting "Another Pumptini!" continues to live rent-free in my head, I decided to channel my inner SUR bartender and make the famous "Pumptini" drink. If you're a fan of the show, you've watched this drink being served at SUR season after season.

james kennedy saying, "Pumptini!"
Bravo

I did a quick search since I live on the east coast and can't get to SUR easily and ask Ariana Madix for the official recipe. Luckily, the recipe is posted all over, so it was very easy to find. Here's what you'll need to make the drink. I was surprised at how many ingredients there are — chill SUR.

ingredients for a drink

-3 raspberries = $4.59

-2 oz vodka = already had but give or take around $30

-3/4 oz orange liqueur = $30

-3/4 oz grapefruit juice = $4.59

-3/4 oz lime juice = $1.79

-3/4 oz simple syrup = $3.79

Fabiana Buontempo

Step 1: In a shaker, muddle the raspberries with the simple syrup. I don't own a muddler so I used the back of a serving spoon to crush the berries.

muddling raspberries in a glass
Fabiana Buontempo

Step 2: Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker and shake with ice. I also don't own a shaker, so I improvised and poured the drink back and forth into two glasses to "shake it up."

the drink in a glass with ice
Fabiana Buontempo

Step 3: Strain into a martini glass (or any glass that you own). I used a spoon to hold back the raspberries and ice to pour the liquids into my glass.

a glass of the drink next to a martini glass
Fabiana Buontempo

I garnished my drink with a few raspberries before taking a sip.

a martini glass in front of the drink ingredients
Fabiana Buontempo

Okay, not to sound dramatic, BUT who on Lisa Vanderpump's team came up with this drink and thought they had the right to charge $18 for this?! The total cost of ingredients was around $44, and that's without the vodka because I already had some on hand. With the purchase of vodka, these ingredients would cost around $75. If you do the math, you could make about four Pumptinis with these ingredients.

the author taking a sip of the drink
Fabiana Buontempo

When I first read the ingredient list, I thought it was an odd choice of flavorings, but I didn't want to judge a book by its cover, but I sadly was right. I'm a fan of martinis, even Cosmos, but this drink was extremely tart, not sweet at all, and the vodka flavor was too strong. I measured everything as instructed, so I can't blame myself for it having a kick. None of the flavors vibed well together — lime, grapefruit, and orange liqueur? IT'S TOO MUCH.

the author looking down at the drink

I also don't think mixing the drink in a cocktail shaker would've made that big of a difference before you come for me on how I improvised.

Fabiana Buontempo

Considering I was testing this recipe at 12 p.m. on a Tuesday pre-lunch, I allowed myself a few sips before calling it quits because I could feel a buzz quickly coming on. So, if you don't care what your drink tastes like as long as you feel a slight buzz, this drink is for you.

Overall, this drink was not for me, but that isn't to say that others might not enjoy it! If you've made this before or had the real thing at SUR (or Pump, RIP), share all your thoughts with me in the comments below because I can't be alone in hating this drink!