From 'unboxing' videos to holiday gift giving, why do we love to watch people open stuff? Psychologists have some theories.
“Unboxing” videos are a viral trend that many people — from tiny tots to full-grown adults — can’t get enough of. You need look no further than TikTok to see that people love watching other people open stuff; and that’s especially true during the holidays, when there’s a surge in influencers sharing their delight — and sometimes disappointment — while ripping through everything from advent calendars to Amazon packages to beautifully wrapped parcels.
While social media has made it possible to watch almost anyone open their presents, the practice of gift giving during the holidays is, of course, nothing new. Michael Foley, a theology professor at Baylor University and author of Why We Kiss under the Mistletoe: Christmas Traditions Explained, tells Yahoo Life that giving each other presents during the winter season is a tradition that predates our modern holidays — going all the way back to the ancient Romans, who exchanged gifts on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day. Once Christianity came about, details from the Christmas story (including God giving his only son to humanity, and the Magi giving gifts to the baby Jesus) made it easy to continue and expand on the seasonal custom.
And it’s probably not a coincidence that presents are especially associated with wintertime, with no major gift-giving holidays during the summer months.
“I suspect that exchanging gifts during the winter is a demonstration of abundance and generosity in the face of scarcity and anxiety,” Foley says. “Let us not forget that for most of human history, winter was a dangerous time: Freezing and starvation were real threats. Yuletide merriment and Christmas presents are a wonderful antidote to these threats.”
And that’s true even when we aren’t on the receiving end. So why do so many of us want to watch other people unpack their bounty? Experts tell Yahoo Life there are likely a few reasons.
We’re innately curious — and everyone loves a good mystery
Karen Dill-Shackleford, a professor of media psychology at Fielding Graduate University, tells Yahoo Life one of the clues to why we derive pleasure from watching people unwrap gifts is revealed by the fact that we choose to wrap them at all. Why wrap a present? Why not just give the person the item?
Dill-Shackleford says it’s probably because we inherently love a good mystery; just as crime dramas and detective whodunits are popular streaming and reading choices, watching a big reveal is also a form of entertainment.
“The fact that we wrap presents means that we think the mystery and the unveiling of the solution to the mystery are part of the pleasure of gift giving,” Dill-Shackleford says. “I think one thing that must be at the core of this delight is curiosity. If we know there’s something hidden that is of value, we’re driven to uncover that hidden gem. It’s like mining for gold or jewels. We enjoy the process of putting some effort into uncovering something hidden.”
We enjoy the anticipation of what the recipient’s reaction will be
Dill-Shackleford explains that watching people open packages is sort of like the thrill people get from game shows like CBS’s Let’s Make a Deal, where contestants blindly choose a door with a prize behind it.
“Sometimes it’s a high-value item like a car or a vacation. Sometimes it’s literally a goat or a group of goats. Audiences love watching a person like themselves take a chance that could go very well or very poorly,” Dill-Shackleford says.“I think the same is true of presents. It could be interpreted as great, good, OK or bad by the receiver — [and] if we want to please them, we are hoping their reaction shows genuine happiness.”
We’re hardwired to derive happiness from other people’s happiness
When the recipient opens the package and is delighted with what’s inside, that makes us happy too. Media psychologist Pamela Rutledge tells Yahoo Life that giving gifts activates the brain’s reward centers, and acts of altruism and generosity release dopamine, the "feel-good" neurotransmitter. While the act of gift giving itself brings us pleasure (and even just thinking about being generous activates those feel-good parts of our brain), watching someone enjoy our gift amplifies this reward. And this can be the case even if you’re watching the joyful reaction of someone you don’t know — like a stranger online unboxing a package.
“Empathic individuals often experience a surge of positive emotions when observing others' happiness as their brain's mirror neuron system becomes activated,” Rutledge explains.
It connects us with the person doing the unboxing — even if we don’t know them
Dr. Kayla Jimenez, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Stanford University, says gift giving also releases oxytocin, a hormone associated with connection, and that oxytocin can be released during the different “phases” of gift giving — from choosing the gift to anticipating giving the gift to watching the gift being opened.
Rutledge adds: “In close relationships, the emotional benefits are amplified because watching someone open a gift gives us the satisfaction of feeling that we understand someone we care about.”
But this feeling of connection can exist even outside of personal relationships. Rutledge says unboxing videos on social media can foster a deeper one-sided emotional or parasocial connection like the parasocial relationships people have toward celebrities or other public figures.
“Media personalities can create an illusion of intimacy and familiarity through social technologies, and watching a favorite influencer unbox a product may feel similar to watching a friend or loved one open a gift,” Rutledge says. “Their excitement becomes contagious, and their reactions feel personally relevant — even if the relationship is entirely virtual.”
‘Unboxing’ videos let us experience the joy without the stress
If you’ve been stressing over how to please your loved ones this holiday season, unboxing videos do have a leg up on the perks of conventional gift giving; Jimenez says the unboxing trend is likely popular because we get all those feel-good emotions without any of the pressure we often feel when gifting to someone we care about.
“There's no stress about how the recipient will react, which can often diminish the positive feelings associated with gift giving — especially during the holidays,” Jimenez explains. “When we're simply watching others, we don’t have to deal with that same anxiety or fear of disappointment. Additionally, there’s no concern that the person might not like the gift. High levels of worry or fear can diminish feelings of happiness and connection, but these emotions are absent when we watch gift exchanges on social media.”
How watching loved ones — and strangers — unbox gifts impacts your health
There can be pros and cons to this, experts say,
The not-so-good:
While watching strangers unbox presents does produce brief moments of pleasure, Jimenez says simply observing the act of opening doesn’t create the same level of satisfaction and happiness that the experience of giving and watching someone you know open a gift does.
Rutledge adds that the unboxing trend tends to emphasize consumption and induces feelings of envy and dissatisfaction with one’s own lot — which can lead to unhealthy social comparisons, and equating happiness and self-worth with what kind of stuff you have.
“While watching loved ones open gifts is rooted in personal connection, unboxing videos often shift the focus to the items themselves and the aspirational feelings they evoke,” Rutledge says. “Unboxing videos often focus on desirable products or activities, activating materialistic desires and the tendency for viewers to compare themselves to others and imagine the joy of owning those items.”
The good:
But those feel-good hormones do have health benefits — which, as Rutledge previously told Yahoo Life, include alleviating stress, lowering blood pressure, reducing risk for heart disease and maintaining a healthier weight and better blood sugar levels.
When we give a gift to another, we also strengthen those feelings of joy, sense of community and strengthening of social bonds — which fights the harmful health effects of loneliness that we’ve been hearing so much about.
Plus, for a lot of people, watching strangers and friends open stuff is just fun — and as Dill-Shackleford points out, there’s no harm in that.
“Anything that is fun and joyful is the opposite of stress,” she says. “So I do imagine there are benefits to watching others enjoy their surprises.”
