What view? Family vacation was never a breeze with kids, but it brought fine memories
“Do you want a waffle? Go sit down and I’ll bring it to you,” The woman in running shoes and a tank top said to a small child who then skipped to a table. She measured out a cupful of batter that sizzled when she poured it on the hot waffle iron, then turned to fill two plastic cups.
“Can you take this apple juice to your brother and Sissy, and stay at the table, please,” she said to a second child.
Within minutes, the family’s table in the hotel breakfast room was overflowing with plates of waffles, a plastic cup of syrup, tiny tubs of butter, apples, juices and three kids devouring their breakfast.
The mom sat down for just a moment, then flew up to contain a freshly spilled cup of juice, and, since she was already standing, went to get clean napkins. Like a maternal whack-a-mole, she kept popping up, but nothing was keeping her down. Up, get more juice, down, take a bite, up, herd a kid back to his seat, repeat.
The window behind her overlooked a lush woodland with a glittering lake in the distance. Was she too busy chasing down a runaway apple and cutting a waffle for a kid to admire the view?
I left my own daughter at our table and aimed toward the coffee. As I passed the mom heading back with four small yogurt containers I asked, “Mom? Can I get you a cup of coffee?”
“Oh, heck, no,” she said with a laugh. “I’m hopping already!”
I got it. I was there years ago, the mom on a family vacation that was the antithesis of relaxing. The daily chores and constant vigilance of child care never stopped just because the view was different than our suburban backyard.
Was there something anyone could have said to me then that would have made it feel more vacation-y and less frazzled? Something that would have perked me up as I was mid business of being Morning Mom: getting my kids enough free breakfast at a hotel so they wouldn’t be asking for a snack in an hour, keeping their noise level down in consideration of the other hotel guests, and desperately trying not to leave too much of a mess in our wake.
I punted.
“Can I give you a hug?” I asked her.
“Oh yes, please!” she said opening her arms for me.
“You’re doing a great job,” I whispered. “My kids are grown and still like to travel with me. It gets a lot easier.”
She whispered back, “But it does feel like a vacation to me because we’re not home. The batter is already prepared, I didn’t have to shop, I don’t have to do dishes.”
A memory-wave of simple vacation moments swooshed into my head: my then-little kids delighted with the wonders of a highway rest area or their quick-to-dress excitement after getting up at zero-dark-hundred to go to the airport. I remembered them in silenced awe at a new-to-them playground, and the shocked disbelief in their faces when I agreed that, yes, it was a very good time for ice cream.
From my vantage point, I know that our travels then were exhausting and primarily kid-activity focused, but they prepared us to level-up all of our vacation games as the kids got older.
The mom’s comment made me realize the encouraging thing someone could have said to me then: What I had been experiencing when they were little was the best for that time, and what I now get to experience with them, is the best, too. Both things can be true.
“You’re right,” I told the woman as she headed back to her little travel companions. “You’re making memories for all of you. It’s a great thing to travel with kids. Besides, waffles on vacation are always better than waffles at home.”
Susan is a Kansas City based writer and podcaster. She is the co-host of the long-running, award winning women’s history podcast, The History Chicks.
