He Walked Out on His Family 15 Years Ago. Now He's Asking for Their Support in His Final Days
A Reddit user shares their struggle with an unexpected call from their dying father, who abandoned the family 15 years ago
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Stock photo of sick manAn anonymous poster recently turned to Reddit for support after receiving an unexpected call from their estranged father, who abandoned the family 15 years ago and is now facing a terminal illness.
The original post begins with a description of the situation. “When I was 10, my dad walked out on our family. No explanation, no contact—just gone,” the poster writes. “My mom worked multiple jobs to keep us afloat, and I had to grow up fast.”
The abrupt departure left a lasting impact on the poster and their family. Then 15 years later, their father reappeared through a phone call, catching the poster off guard. They write, “Now, 15 years later, I get a call from an unknown number — It’s him. He says he’s sick, possibly terminal, and has no one else to turn to.”
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Stock photo of adult man walking out of doorNow, the poster is struggling with whether to help their estranged father. “I don’t know if I owe him anything,” they share. “I don’t even know what he’s been doing all these years. But a part of me wonders if I’d regret not doing something.”
The poster's family has conflicting opinions. “My mom says it’s my choice, but I can tell she hates the idea of me helping him. My siblings want nothing to do with him,” they write.
After careful consideration, the poster has decided they want to meet with their father once, not out of obligation but for personal closure.
“Just to hear what he has to say — not for his sake, but for mine,” they share. “I want the chance to ask him questions only he can answer.”
The poster firmly states, however, that they will not take on the role of caregiver. They write, “That's a weight I refuse to carry.” Instead, they choose to prioritize the family members who have consistently supported them.
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Stock photo of young man with hospitalized fatherIn a final reflection, the poster adds, “As far as I know, he didn’t leave for another woman—he just disappeared. No explanation, no contact, nothing. That’s what makes this so hard.”
They continue, “If he had built a new life, I wouldn’t even be a thought in his mind. But now that he’s sick and alone, suddenly I exist again. It’s a lot to process.”
Following the post, many Redditors have called the poster brave and advised against meeting up with the father. Others encourage them to do what they feel is necessary.
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One writes, “You don't owe him anything, that's for sure, but that is not the only factor. Do what feels best for you, you don't have to help him because you feel like you have to even if you don't want to.”
The poster responds, “It’s hard to separate the past from the present when the wound still feels fresh, even after all these years. I guess I’m still trying to figure out if helping him would bring me peace or just reopen old wounds.”
Read the original article on People