Why I Moved: To Find Life’s Softer Side in Mexico City
This is part of Why I Moved, a recurring series about Americans building a life abroad.
For cannabis and food writer Mennlay Golokeh Aggrey, a winter-sun whim turned into a decade in Mexico City. In 2014, a particularly frigid November in Brooklyn was brutal enough to have her seriously consider leaving the United States for warmer pastures. “My partner and I were like, let's put our stuff in storage for six months, go there to Mexico, and then figure it out,” Agrrey tells Condé Nast Traveler in a conversation over Zoom. “And as we know, there is no ‘figuring it out.’ I just decided to stay.” Over the last ten years and change, Aggrey has built a life in the Mexican capital that makes space for softness: Her days are long and productive, but hold space for creativity and leisure. She acknowledges that it’s an immense privilege to be an American living abroad, especially as a child of immigrants who has now immigrated to Mexico. In the Q&A below, we chat with Aggrey about what it's been like to grow a life in CDMX, learn how to speak and make friends in Spanish, and find community through her passions.
PROFILE
NAME: Mennlay Golokeh Aggrey
LOCATION: Mexico City, Mexico
JOB: Cannabis and food writer; co-founder of Xula Herbs
DATE OF MOVE: 2014
FROM WHERE? Brooklyn, USA
Where did you move to, and why this place?
“I’m now living in Mexico City and I came here about a decade ago from Brooklyn, New York. At the time, I was considering places like Berlin or Paris or Johannesburg, and ultimately landed on Mexico City. It was very much a gut feeling. There's just something really electric about this city. It’s incredibly creative and, I think, a beacon for art, architecture, and literature. It just felt right.”
What prompted you to move out of the US?
“Honestly, November 2014 was a brutal winter in New York. I needed a break from being, like, a human icicle. I wanted more sunshine. I was probably yearning for the West Coast, in particular; a few years before coming to Brooklyn, I was living in California. So a jump to Mexico made a lot of sense. That desire for warmth is a big part of why I moved.”
Did you move alone, or with a partner, family, or friends?
“I moved with my partner at the time. He was in a punk band that toured in Mexico City when he was younger, and he kept in touch with everyone he met there. So when we arrived, a lot of his friends became my close friends—poets, artists, thinkers. It was beautiful, having a sort of soft landing, a great community to fall into. Though our relationship didn't last, my love affair with Mexico City did, and I still live here on my own.”
Give us a top-level explanation of the process of moving.
“When I first arrived, I was on a six-month visa; I updated my visa regularly until I was eligible to get temporary residency. That required speaking to an immigration lawyer, someone who knew all about the necessary paperwork. After having temporary residency for two years, I got my permanent residency. The next step would be to pursue things like citizenship and a passport. Personally, I did a lot of my visa process through my job; I cofounded Xula Herbs in 2018 and that was instrumental in letting authorities know that I was here to work and I wasn’t just playing around. Throughout the whole process, it was important to me that I do everything above board. I was born in the United States as a child of immigrants; I know what it’s like on the other side, to have friends go through the arduous process of moving to the US. So as I worked on setting up my life in Mexico, I felt it was my due diligence to go through the proper avenues, as well as to be respectful of Mexico’s people and culture.”
“I was born in the United States as a child of immigrants… I felt it was my due diligence to go through the proper avenues, as well as to be respectful of Mexico’s people and culture.”
How does the nature of your work contribute to your decision to move abroad?
“For much of my career, I’ve been able to work in a flexible way: from home and essentially anywhere. So I think the beauty of remote work, particularly in my industry and in my experience, is that it didn't tie me to an office—although I did do that for a little bit. That ability has allowed me to see the world, to experience and learn from different cultures while doing what I love. That said, I’m very conscious of the conversation around American nationals immigrating elsewhere and digital nomads. So I try to be very intentional about how I live and build a life in Mexico—a privilege in itself. Being here, I’m very fortunate to have the mental and financial bandwidth to pursue my art and passions, like food and anthropology. I might not have the biggest bank balance, but the experience of that—of being able to move at a certain pace—is just so rich. I don’t think I could have done that as much in the United States.”
Give us a brief description of your typical weekday.
“My weekdays start early—depending on who you ask—at around 6:45 a.m. I meditate before checking my devices, if I'm a good girl that day. After that, I have a coffee or matcha. And if I don't have deadlines or a really intense call, I smoke a little herb and water my plants—it’s a bit of a morning ritual. But by eight o'clock, my laptop is open. I work through the day and I take breaks, maybe to journal. I might pop into another project and pop back out to return to what I was doing or even touch a different project. I try to follow where the creative energy takes me. That’s my day until about 7 p.m. It sounds like a long day, but I have those pockets to do things that are important to me. That pace helps me work better.
In the US, my daily rhythms were somewhat similar, but they had, like, a bit more of a chaotic energy. I’m a Gemini and I have a lot of Gemini placements in my chart. When I was younger, that kind of popping around wasn’t as grounded or nourishing. Now, I see the value in that approach. I’m a lot older than I was then. I’m 41 now and I’ve started to recognize what’s important. Living here in Mexico, I see folks taking long weekends and long lunches. They’re not necessarily working just for the sake of it. Even the way people walk—no one here walks as fast as New Yorkers do. There’s a softness to the workday that has really informed how I go about my routines.”
What was the biggest challenge to moving or navigating your new life?
“When I first moved abroad, I was expecting some culture shock. Everyone does. That's like, the one thing they say you should pay attention to. But for some reason—and I should say, I grew up in an immigrant West African household—I naively assumed that in Mexico, a country full of brown people, I wouldn’t face anti-Black culture. And reality smacked me in the face very quickly. I was pretty distraught. It sort of sent me into a mini-spiral because I was like, Well, what am I doing here? That's when I had to ask myself, Where do you belong? Because you never felt like you did in the US. But those experiences brought me closer to my curiosity. I started to answer my own questions through reading history, digging into the archives, learning about the legacy of Black people here, as well as the colonial and pre-colonial eras. That helped me work toward finding a place here in Mexico, as did being in community with people in the food and cannabis spaces—making friends with people who shared my interests.”
What was it like adapting to a new culture?
“Before I came to live in Mexico, I had no experience speaking Spanish—which is hilarious since I lived in California. Gaining fluency in the language was kind of like peeling an onion. You know, it’s like, you become proficient at a particular level of language and discover there’s another layer to learn. It was rewarding though, getting to different points where I could speak more comfortably or reaching new levels of fluency. I’d be mistaken as, in my case, Cuban or whatever, and I’d just be like, Okay! Thank you! I feel like I finally belong. In those moments when I felt like I understood someone or something, the world became softer and friendlier. It helped me lower my guard. I think that’s what language can do. When you become bilingual or learn a new way of speaking, you can get closer to others and bring them closer to you.”
“When I felt like I understood [the language], the world became softer and friendlier. It helped me lower my guard.”
How did you build community or meet new people?
“This is sort of random, but I was also a DJ. In New York, I worked at a record store and I would DJ on the weekends. So when I came to Mexico, I almost instinctively checked out the underground music scene and started getting connected with that community. A lot of my oldest friendships here are from that time in my life. They helped me understand the lay of the land in Mexico. And now, working in the wellness and cannabis space, that’s also shifted the way I create community; I try to be someone who can offer insights into herbs and herbal applications—herbs as a source of connecting both to our bodies and to community.
A lot of my friendships in the beginning were built predominantly on English, since I was just starting to learn Spanish. But now I have these connections that are mostly in Spanish, and some still in English. With some friends, I can switch between English and Spanish freely, and that back and forth feels really special. It makes me realize how bad my Spanish was when I first arrived. Early on in my time in Mexico, I had this friend and, even though language was a barrier for us, we were very close. Unfortunately, he was ill and passed away. I yearned so badly to be able to tell him how special our friendship was to me. I think about him often, especially when it comes to communication and connection, language and love.”
What’s the one thing you wish you had known before moving?
“I wish someone had told me that the hardest part is choosing where you're going to live. If you’re moving out of the United States, I recommend asking yourself: How far away do I want to be from family and friends? Will I have to travel back and forth for work or school? Nail that down first. It seems sort of obvious, but just know that once you pin that down, it all becomes a little less overwhelming. From there, you can get into the nuts and bolts of getting your visa and residency permit, of hiring an immigration lawyer, all of that. Do your research, save money, plan. Buy that one-way ticket. Once that checklist is done, don’t forget to lean into that sense of adventure. Sometimes, I think, the best things really do happen when you take a leap.”
Do you ever think of moving back to the US? Why or why not?
“That thought really does come up, of moving back to the US—though maybe not as much after this past election. I do think that, as a writer, it can make more sense for me to be in New York or California. But I've already lived there; I've already done that. I think it's hard to beat the life that I've created for myself here. Sure, it's complicated. It can be gritty and trying, but Mexico City is such a beautiful city and Mexico is such a stunning country. I don’t plan to move anytime soon, especially after getting my permanent residency. Maybe I would move back to the States for, like, love. Or, I don’t know, a $200,000-a-year job with a sign-on bonus. But home is Mexico.”
If you could name just one thing, what is that thing that is keeping you here?
“Oh, it's so hard. Of course, being me, I would initially want to say that it’s the food. But if I could only pick one thing, I’d have to say it’s the nature here. It really is. I mean, Mexico's landscapes are so unreal. You've got snow-capped mountains, and then you've got cenotes. You’ve got the Caribbean coast as well as the Pacific coast. I think about the mountains in Oaxaca and Durango, and I feel how incredibly rich the nature is here. To experience it is just unreal. That goes for many places in the world, for sure. But for me and Mexico, that's a huge one. The land itself.”
Originally Appeared on Condé Nast Traveler
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