Why One Doctor Thinks You Should Be Happy About Menopause
Everywhere we turn, there is a woman talking about menopause: from doctors to celebrities to your friends and coworkers. It’s hot to be having hot flashes, it seems, and in general that’s a good thing. That’s how you increase awareness and decrease stigma. But these conversations almost always carry an element of anger.
Menopause, and all that comes with it, can certainly make you angry. Suddenly, your midsection is expanding despite no shift in diet or activity level, your skin and hair are changing, you’re experiencing brain fog, sleep disturbances, joint pain—the list goes on. You might feel as if the person you are, who you’ve felt comfortable with for decades, is now different or unrecognizable, possibly forever.
Some women are truly annoyed or saddened to realize that their reproductive life stage is over, and others are personally offended by America’s obsession with all things youth related. But the fact that the medical field, scientific community, and pharmaceutical industry have not prioritized menopause, in terms of research or education, leaving women with a dearth of information, data, and treatment options, makes a lot of women really mad, and at times I share this anger.
But in medicine, as in life, being angry usually isn’t productive. Negativity is already so pervasive in our world, and this adds to the feelings of despair that often seep into this stage of a woman’s life. I’m not suggesting undue cheerfulness here but instead suggesting that we reframe menopause in a more positive and optimistic light. It can help. A lot. For example, in retrospect, I strongly regret not throwing myself some kind of “last period party” when I went through menopause three years ago. That was a missed opportunity to make lemonade out of lemons.
But this all showed me that it’s time to rebrand menopause on a personal level.
Start by remembering that this is a process reserved solely for women who are alive in their mid-40s. (The alternative is you didn’t make it that far….) That’s one big reason to celebrate! You also have way more access to credible information and scientific data than ever before, as well as more women sharing their menopause experiences with one another. There are hormonal and nonhormonal prescription medications to help treat menopausal symptoms, and numerous women’s health–centered start-ups are receiving seed-capital funding (even from male-dominated venture funds). Live events diving into all things midlife and menopause are popping up everywhere. There are books, newsletters, podcasts, and documentaries coming out.
There are also a plethora of women over 50 dominating their fields and doing so in a very public way, from Dame Helen Mirren to Christy Turlington, Oprah Winfrey, and Janet Yellen. And the list goes on. In fact, 80 percent of the honorees on Forbes’s list of the World’s Most Powerful Women last year were over 50, and half were over 60. It sends a clear message: I have experience, resources, and skills, and I know how to use them all!
Plus, look at the abundance of other “silver” linings: No more periods means saving money on tampons and pads, which helps save the environment. And no more risk of getting pregnant unintentionally! That’s one less thing to worry about.
If I could have a do-over, I would literally make a big event of my last period—because, after all, it is a major milestone. I would send out Evites to a party (perhaps with a nice cartoon of a uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries on the front, and balloons and confetti on the lower half, or a tombstone with “RIP Ovaries” inscribed on it). I would invite my closest group of girlfriends and might even consider a small but tasteful registry of gift options. I think we should celebrate this moment in life: Just as there are bridal showers, baby showers, 21st birthdays, and sweet-16 parties, there really could and should be menopause parties.
Menopause should have you celebrating the newfound freedom that comes with this stage in life. The earlier parts of a woman’s life can often be all about serving the needs of others. Now it’s about serving our own needs. But we need a paradigm shift. Our focus needs to turn inward. I wouldn’t want to miss out on all the good things to come and future adventures because I was too busy mourning the past and the negative issues of the present.
So here’s my prescription for your menopausal journey: Take one dose of optimism, mix with a little humor and a lot of education, treat any symptoms (as needed), discontinue the anger, and repeat daily for infinity.
Jennifer Ashton, MD, is double board-certified in ob-gyn and obesity medicine and has a degree in nutrition. She is the author of a popular free weekly newsletter; sign up at joinajenda.com. Instagram: @DrJAshton
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