A 34-Year-Old Mom Just Gave The Best Example As To Why Young People Aren’t Having Kids

It's no secret that childcare costs continue to be one of the most significant expenses for US families — one 2024 report found that childcare costs now outpace rent for the average American family.

And yet, as a person without kids, a childless cat lady, if you will, it's still mind-boggling to grasp just how expensive it is to raise a child in this country. It just doesn't even feel like a viable option right now. So, when I stumbled across a video by Paige Connell (@sheisapaigeturner) breaking down current daycare costs, I was absolutely floored.

"When somebody tells you they can't afford to have children, this is what they're talking about," Paige began in her video, before pointing to a 2024-2025 daycare rate sheet. "A woman in my town's Facebook group shared these daycare rates today, and she said, 'How do you afford kids here?' because nobody knows how anybody is paying for this."

"An infant for five days a week with 10 hours of care is $664 a week. That is just shy of $35,000 a year for one child," Paige continued. "And the price does not drop that much when they hit pre-K. Here it's $521 a week, which is about, like, [$27,000] a year."

Sorry, $35,000!?!?!?!

Paige admitted these are "incredibly high rates" for daycare, but even if the parent wanted to drop down to the "cheaper" option with fewer hours in daycare a day, it usually doesn't make sense for the parent, or become that much more affordable. "When you go to daycare, typically you're gonna take the most hours because you have to commute to work, you have to commute back from work, and you have to work eight hours a day," Paige said.

"Unfortunately, when you miss pick up by one minute, they start charging you, like, $2 a minute," she said. "So, usually, it's more cost-effective just to pay the higher rate for the 10 hours than to pay for the nine hours, which is crazy cause it's a one-hour difference."

"These are rates for one kid. We are talking about one child," Paige continued. "Imagine a family that has two kids. They're paying 50, 60 thousand dollars a year for childcare. That is unsustainable for most families."

A report from Care.com found that the average parent spends 22% of their household income on childcare costs, with the average parent depleting one-third (29%) of their savings on childcare costs alone. For context, the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) deems 7% of family income as the benchmark for affordable childcare. That means current childcare costs are more than triple what's recommended and deemed "affordable" in the US.

And while childcare costs decrease slightly as kids get older, Paige noted that doesn't count for the annual increase every school year. "Daycare centers raise their tuition because they have to, and typically, that's anywhere between 5 to 20%. And most people are looking at a 10% increase," Paige said. "So even though you have those savings when they hit pre-K, by the time your kid hits pre-K, it's been four, five years. That rate has gone up exponentially."

"So when someone tells you they can't afford to have children, oftentimes it is because of the cost of childcare," she continued. "And if it's not just the cost of childcare, it's the cost of housing and groceries. And you compound all those things, healthcare costs [too], it's incredibly expensive."

"I did not know, looking back four or five years ago when I first started having kids, that I would be paying this much money for daycare, because the rates looked drastically different," Paige admitted. "The rates over the last 20 years or something have gone up like 200%. It is wild how expensive childcare is in our country."

A 2023 report found that the cost of childcare has increased 220% in the last three decades. Between January 2020 and September 2024 alone, the price of daycare and preschool rose about 22%, according to the PEW Research Center and data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

"If we had affordable childcare, it would not only benefit families and children, it would benefit the economy, it would benefit businesses, and it would benefit us as a greater society. The economy would be better for it," Paige said.

She's not wrong — according to a study from the nonprofit group, Council for a Strong America, issues with childcare cost the US economy $122 billion a year through lost earnings, productivity, and tax revenue.

Paige ended, "This is not just a parent problem. People constantly are looking at adults who are married or of, you know, birthing years and saying, 'Why aren't you having kids?' And we're looking around saying, 'How could we possibly have kids when we can't even afford to buy a house?'"

In another video, Paige shared that for her own family, she's paying about $40,000 yearly as a mom of four with two kids in full-time daycare.

"I have a toddler; she's two and a half years old, and then I have a kid in pre-k. She's four years old. The four-year-old is a little bit less expensive than the two-year-old. Combined, it's about thirty-four hundred dollars a month for the two of them to go to full-time daycare, making it just shy of $40,000 a year."

Paige explained that daycare rates depend on the children's ages and the type of childcare center. "So, if you have an infant in my center, it's over $100 a day. So you're spending over $500 a week, over $2,000 a month for one child in full-time daycare."

She continued, "I am in a town-based childcare center. If you go down the street to the corporate center, it is much more expensive. It's slightly less expensive if you go to something like a home daycare, for example. But typically, a home daycare is still anywhere between 65 to 75 dollars a day."

Now, Paige is located in Massachusetts, where childcare is notoriously high. A 2021 report found the annual average cost of child care for one kid was $19,961, which is pretty on par with what she's spending. In comparison, the average cost of childcare nationwide sits at $11,582, as of 2023. Still, that's a hefty price tag (roughly $965 extra a month) that many families cannot front.

Where other countries subsidize childcare (for instance, where my partner lives in Quebec, Canada, the daily cost of subsidized daycare is $9.10 CAD per child, or $273/month), the US system is mainly private, highly regulated, and left up to the states to address, making the industry unaffordable and rife with issues for both providers and families.

The last time Congress "successfully" addressed the issue of childcare in the US was in 1940 (yes... 1940) when the Lanham Act created federally subsidized and run daycare centers during WW2. Unfortunately, however, the centers closed at the end of the war because funds were withdrawn.

In 1971, Congress passed a bipartisan bill 1971, the Comprehensive Child Development Act, which would have created a federally subsidized childcare program, but Nixon vetoed it.

During the pandemic, the federal government provided the childcare industry with an unprecedented $52 billion in COVID-19 relief. However, most of this funding expired in September 2023.

Without additional public investment, experts warn that tuition hikes and potential program closures are likely, and unless Congress approves funding increases, states will continue to be responsible for bridging the financial gap to address the growing childcare crisis.

According to a bipartisan poll conducted by the First Five Years Fund in 2024, voters across party lines (89%) overwhelmingly wanted candidates to have a plan to address the childcare crisis. And yet, despite the current administration running on a "pro-baby" platform, Trump gave a rambling non-answer on how he was to address this crisis, and J.D. Vance notoriously suggested "maybe grandma and grandpa" can help out a little more, when asked about lowering the cost of daycare.

Vance has since tried to clarify this stance, suggesting the childcare credit penalizes families who don't use daycare. "We should try to encourage whatever is best for each individual family. Right now we don't. We try to force or at least subsidize one model on every family in this country. And if you open up kinship and other options for families, you will relieve some pressure on the daycare system in this country," he said. Still, he's yet to provide concrete plans as to what these "other options" for affordable daycare could look like, or how the government might help.

Since then, some House Republicans have included the childcare credit, which has long helped parents with childcare expenses, as part of potential federal programs to cut. And despite a federal judge blocking the Trump administration's federal funding freeze, some critical childcare programs serving thousands of children nationwide said they could not access their funds for weeks after.

Some took out lines of credit, and others came close to closing down temporarily, leaving hundreds of low-income families without childcare.

For Paige, she said that to make childcare more affordable in the US, she believes the government needs to "invest in childcare as a fundamental part of our social infrastructure." She told BuzzFeed, "Other countries provide subsidies and funding to make childcare more accessible, and the US should follow suit. Affordable childcare isn’t just a benefit for parents; it's essential for a thriving economy."

"When families have access to quality, affordable childcare, more parents can stay in the workforce, businesses retain talent, and children receive the early education that sets them up for success," she continued. "This isn’t just a personal issue; it’s a systemic one that requires policy solutions, including increased public funding, subsidies for families, and better wages for childcare providers to ensure high-quality care."

Paige explained that, currently, most of the people in her circle plan their families around the cost of childcare, and that affording childcare often means sacrificing other financial priorities. "The high cost — especially for infants — often leads parents to space their children further apart than they originally intended. For example, I know families who have delayed having a second child until their first is in public school because they simply couldn't afford two kids in full-time daycare at once," she explained.

"Parents are forgoing college savings, personal savings, or any financial cushion because so much of their income is consumed by childcare and mortgage payments. Families who can’t afford these costs often rely on alternative solutions, like one parent, typically the mother, leaving the workforce or turning to extended family, such as grandparents, for support."

In the comments of Paige's videos, many commiserated over the high cost of childcare and how it often plays into whether or not they have kids. "I got passed over for a promotion today and cried because it meant that our dream of having a second child is put off for another year," one person wrote.

"The older generations have zero idea how serious younger people are when they say 'we can't afford kids,'" another person said.

"This is why as a 20 year old the idea of having children any time soon is just [so] inconceivable. Idek how I'm supposed [to] make a good living after college," someone else wrote.

Others noted that the childcare crisis isn’t just a burden on families — despite the steep costs, the money isn’t going into the pockets of childcare workers. "The worst part is that workers aren't the ones being paid well," one person wrote. "In Michigan, it's generally less than $15 an hr to work with kids. That's sad."

Largely due to low wages, the childcare industry continues to face a shortage of workers. Additionally, the challenges in the childcare workforce disproportionately affect women, who make up 92% of childcare workers in the US — with nearly 40% being women of color.

According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, the median wage of a childcare worker in 2023 was $14.60/hour (~$30,368/year), which was below the national median across all occupations at $23.11/hour (~$48,068/year).

Paige — who has been making videos about the realities of daycare pricing for the past two years — said while the majority of people respond positively to her videos, relating to the financial strain and the difficult choices they have to make to afford care, some people make "uninformed" remarks misunderstanding how childcare in the US works.

"Some dismiss the reality, assuming these high costs must only apply to luxury childcare centers, or they suggest that hiring a nanny might be cheaper — which is rarely the case," she told BuzzFeed. "There’s also a common refrain that women should simply leave the workforce instead of paying for childcare, ignoring both the long-term financial consequences of that choice and the fact that many families rely on two incomes to survive."

Paige also highlighted how childcare and the childcare crisis often fall on women to solve. She told BuzzFeed, "The cost of childcare disproportionately impacts women and is often framed as a 'women’s issue,' when in reality, it affects everyone, our society, our economy, and both men and women alike. When childcare is unaffordable, it forces families into difficult decisions, often pushing women out of the workforce or limiting their career growth."

She continued, "This isn't just a personal problem; it's a structural issue with widespread consequences, including labor shortages, decreased household incomes, and economic instability. Affordable childcare benefits everyone, and it's something we should be prioritizing as a society, not just leaving to individual families to navigate alone."

For young people who might want kids but worry about the cost, Paige stressed researching the cost of care before having children. "Look into waitlists, availability, and rates in your area, as this information can be surprisingly difficult to find but is crucial for planning," she said."

"It’s also important to understand how frequently childcare costs increase and by how much. Many families can initially afford childcare, but as rates rise year after year, it can quickly become unsustainable."

"I wish I had known just how much childcare costs would increase over time," she continued. "It’s risen exponentially in recent years. I also wish I had fully understood that childcare expenses don’t end when a child starts public school."

"Many parents assume costs will drop significantly at that point, but the reality is that before-school care, after-school programs, and summer camps add up quickly. Being prepared for these ongoing expenses can help parents make more informed decisions about family planning and financial stability."

On a last note, Paige shared why she continues to speak up about this crisis: "It’s important to bring awareness to these costs because we are in the middle of a childcare crisis in this country. In all 50 states, the average cost of full-time daycare for two children exceeds the average rent, placing a massive financial strain on families." (For context, the average rent in the US as of February 2025 is $1,556/month, according to Apartments.com.)

"By openly discussing these costs, I hope to shed light on the challenges families face and push for solutions that make quality childcare more accessible and affordable."

What are your thoughts — how have you been impacted by the childcare crisis? Let us know in the comments.