Woman Contemplates Divorce After Hitting Her Limit with Husband's 'Long History of Being Thoughtless'

A woman is seeking support from the Reddit community after contemplating divorce due to her husband’s negligence for special occasions — particularly her 40th birthday and their first wedding anniversary.

“I want a divorce because my husband has a long history of being thoughtless, inconsiderate, and taking me for granted,” the anonymous woman begins the post. “This birthday is just the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

The couple’s relationship spans two decades, but they’ve only been legally married for one year. The circumstances of their wedding day missed the romantic mark as he surprised her with an impromptu courthouse ceremony on her birthday.

“He didn’t bother to get rings (we still don’t have rings a year later.) The clerk looked like she wanted to scream at me to run and it was embarrassing,” she shares. Fast-forward to their first anniversary, which coincided with her 40th birthday, and her husband’s pattern of neglect continued.

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Despite the initial promises of a special gift, the woman claims her husband’s efforts fell short. “For my birthday, he had our son pick out a couple of plastic cooking spoons for me while we were grocery shopping. He didn’t bother to buy wrapping paper. That was it.”

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This is a stark contrast to what the poster says she does for his special days, which include baking cakes, buying thoughtful gifts and planning outings. Over the years, his lack of effort has taken an emotional toll on the woman, she adds. “I look back and only have memories that make me want to cry,” she states.

She confronted her husband, to which he claims she’s ignoring the good aspects of their relationship, but she emphasizes the lack of romance and appreciation.

“Things work between us because I am extremely understanding with him and don’t ask for much in return,” she explains. “When he flakes on me because of sleeping in too late or whatever else, at most I’ll grumble about it for a couple of minutes, then move forward and try to salvage the rest of the day.”

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The woman’s decision to seek a divorce has been met with resistance from her husband, who has since asked her for another chance. But, it seems she may have reached her limit: “He says I’m just being cruel and unreasonable because I won’t give him ‘one more chance!’ I told him I’ve given him enough chances, I have nothing left to give.”

She concludes the post with an update, saying she “will not let things go back to the way they have been. I intend to make 2025 the year I get myself back.” Despite giving an update, she has yet to disclose whether she is going through with a divorce.

Commenters are coming with support for the poster, with one writing, "Honey it sounds like you married your roommate that you happen to have a kid with, I am so sorry. I was married to a man who ended up pretty much being a roommate but thankfully we didn't have kids. Sadly he was more romantic than your husband... You are not overreacting at all, in fact you're acting appropriately but way late. Every year that you have put up with this you have shown your son that it's okay to treat women like this, that being a wife or the mother of your children means absolutely nothing. Get out now and go enjoy your life. You matter and you deserve to be celebrated for christmas, for your birthday, for mother's day, for your anniversary, every chance."

Adds another, "girl you should’ve RAN from that courthouse a year ago. Why were you with this loser? You deserve better and it sounds like you realize that. Get the divorce and then take yourself on a nice vacation or spa treatment. Reclaim that self-worth because NO ONE is gonna give it to you but you."

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