Woman Refuses to Be in Best Friend's Wedding After Receiving Spreadsheet with $1,000 Worth of Bridesmaid Expenses
"This just feels like she’s using her wedding as an excuse to make her guests pay for her dream day," the woman wrote on Reddit
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Bride and bridesmaid (stock image)A woman is feeling "stunned" after her lifelong best friend sent her "a spreadsheet" listing more than $1,000 worth of expenses she must pay to be her bridesmaid.
The 24-year-old woman detailed the situation in a recent post on Reddit, beginning by sharing that the bride, Megan — who has been her best friend since elementary school — recently asked her to be one of her bridesmaids. The OP (original poster) said she was "beyond excited and honored" to have the special role on Megan's big day.
"But then, things took a turn that I did not expect," the bride continued. "A couple of weeks after the proposal, Megan sent me an email detailing the 'bridesmaid package.' She attached a spreadsheet showing what I would need to pay for in order to participate."
Related: Woman Says Sister Is Charging Her to Be in Her Wedding Party, Including a $150 'Bridesmaid Fee'
The OP went on to share some of the specific expenses: "$500 for the dress (which I had to buy from a very specific boutique); $300 for hair and makeup (which would also be done by a specific stylist she had 'already booked'); $150 for a gift for the bride (and this was the 'minimum amount, she said); and $100 for a bachelorette party deposit, which would cover her trip to a luxury resort."
The OP added, "And then, to top it off, she asked for an extra $50 for 'miscellaneous expenses,' which I still can’t figure out."
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Wedding rings on top of money (stock image)Needless to say, the OP was taken aback by the spreadsheet. "I understand that weddings can be expensive, but charging people to be in your wedding, especially your best friend, feels wrong to me," she wrote.
She immediately sent Megan a message, expressing her "concern that this was way too much money for me to afford, especially since I was still paying off student loans and saving up for other things."
Megan responded by telling the OP that these costs are "the norm" for weddings today. "She said, 'I’m just trying to make sure everything’s perfect, and these costs are necessary.' She even said, 'If you can’t afford to be in my wedding, I understand, but I can’t change the plans for everyone else.' "
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The situation has left the OP feeling "super awkward."
"I’ve always been there for her, but this just feels like she’s using her wedding as an excuse to make her guests pay for her dream day," she noted. "I told her that I couldn’t afford all of it, and she hasn’t spoken to me since."
She added: "Some of my other friends say I should just suck it up and pay to avoid making a scene. Others say I should stand my ground … and refuse to pay to be in her wedding."
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Bride and bridesmaids (stock image)In the comments section, fellow Redditors weighed in, and many shared the opinion that the OP is justified in declining to take part in her friend's wedding under the circumstances.
"It's your choice," one person argued. "If you want to do it, go for it. If you don't, just say thanks but I have to refuse."
Another agreed, writing: "If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. You can simply say, I love you and thank you for asking me to be in your wedding but I will have to decline due to financial constraints. I would still love to attend and support you. If she is really your friend she will understand, but you may have to let things happen based on her response."
Several commenters said the bride was asking far too much of her bridesmaids. "Being a bridesmaid isn’t a subscription service. If she wants a fundraiser, she should start a GoFundMe, not charge admission to her wedding party," one person griped.
Someone else accused Megan of being "a bridezilla."
"If she's really your bff she'd understand that what she's asking of you & the rest of the bridal party is too much. She's asking you & everyone else to pay roughly $1,100 to be in her wedding. That's not a friend," they commented.
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