Woman Wonders If She's the 'Mean Girl’ at Work After a Coworker Says She's 'Never Felt More Left Out'
The woman — who detailed her experience on Reddit — says that the "friend/coworker" wants to be "included in every conversation"
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Woman at work (stock image)A woman wrote on Reddit that she is "starting to feel like the mean girl" after a woman, who she calls "Monica," accused her and another friend of making her feel "left out"
The woman says the drama began after she and the other friend decided to move in together and didn't invite Monica to live with them
The woman, who detailed her experience on Reddit, is now wondering if she's the "a------" in the situation — despite the fact that she says Monica "is quite mean and insecure"
A woman says she’s been having interpersonal issues with a work friend, but she’s not sure who’s at fault.
The woman detailed her experience on the popular Reddit forum “Am I the A------?” in a post titled “[...] I’m starting to feel like the mean girl.” In the post, the woman shared that a “friend/coworker” recently accused her and another friend of making her feel excluded.
The Reddit user explained that she began bartending in a new city about a year ago and “hit it off immediately” with a coworker who she called “Rachel.” She said that she and Rachel would hang out after work “most nights,” and were often joined by a third coworker, who the Redditor calls “Monica.”
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However, the original poster (OP) noted that she and Rachel got closer over time and “started doing things together that didn’t have anything to do with work.” She said that they eventually decided to become roommates, which caused Monica to get “jealous” because she wanted to live with them too. She added that after she and Rachel realized they didn’t want to live with Monica, they began to "analyze" their dynamic with her.
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Two women laughing together (stock image)“We realized Monica is quite mean and insecure. It’s little things and little comments,” the OP explained, adding, “It’s so weird when she comments and laughs at you when it’s just you two in the room, like who is your audience?”
Now, the OP is claiming that Monica is “aware that we’re pulling away,” which has caused her to start “demanding to be included.”
“We include her in the ways that feel natural but are reaching a point [where] we don’t even want to be friends with her,” the woman shared. “She wants to be included in every conversation and wants to be privy to every bit of information we share with each other.”
She added: “Last night we had a one on one conversation where she said she has never felt more left out of a group before and was saying she was hurt we didn’t share information with her about our personal lives.”
The OP said she feels like an “a------” because she doesn’t think Monica has many friends — but at the same time wishes Monica would “let us be friends as much as feels natural.”
She added: “It feels like we’re in 3rd grade and it’s mean to not invite her to every sleepover.”
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Fellow Reddit users largely agreed that she is not the “a------” in this situation; however, several of them also noted that they think she and Rachel should be more upfront with Monica and let her know why they have pulled away.
“Have you ever told her (gently) the real reasons that you're both pulling away?” one person asked. “Tell her the truth. Be honest with her about the things she says, and does that offend you or make you uncomfortable. Maybe she's trying to impress you with her comments and behavior and doesn't realize how she comes across. If it's not social immaturity, and she truly is a jerk, say what you need to help her understand and stick to boundaries that you set.”
“NTA [not the a------],” added someone else. “But I would be more upfront with Monica. Let her know that her rude comments/ laughing AT YOU (not with you) is weird."
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