Woman's Had a ‘Strange’ Dynamic with Her Mom Since Childhood. Now in Her 40s, She’s Considering Drastic Action
“We normally speak every other day, but since her last ‘strop,’ it’s now been 5 days,” the woman said
Getty
Upset middle-aged woman (stock image)A Mumsnet user shared that she grew up "terrified" of her mom and "always walking on eggshells"
Now in her mid-40s, the woman confessed she still has a "strange" dynamic with her mom and receives the silent treatment when they disagree
She admitted that she's considering saying "no more" and keeping her distance from her mom
A woman in her mid-40s is at the end of her tether with her mom.
On Monday, April 13, she confessed on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet that she’s always had quite a “superficial” relationship with her mother. Both she and her sister were terrified of her throughout childhood as she never showed “any love or affection.”
The woman said six months ago, her mom was “cruel and petty” towards her and, despite being “in the wrong,” proceeded to give her the silent treatment to exert “power” over her. “Ultimately, I went chasing after her and she had the satisfaction of knowing she had ‘won,’ ” the woman wrote.
She continued, “Last week, a similar situation arose, she was unnecessarily rude and cruel to me (ending up with her hanging the phone up on me), and we’ve had no contact since.”
Getty
Unhappy woman (stock image)The PEOPLE App is now available in the Apple App Store! Download it now for the most binge-worthy celeb content, exclusive video clips, astrology updates and more!
The woman said that she and her mom typically speak every day, but “since her last ‘strop’ it’s now been 5 days.”
“I feel so infuriated by it and I know it sounds pathetic but AIBU [am I being unreasonable] for saying No More! and not go running after her??!” asked the woman. “She has previously made a comment to me about how parents can speak to their adult children however they want and the ‘child’ (even though they are now adults) have no right to stand up to the parent.”
She claimed that her mom believes the “strict parent-child” dynamic that they had when she was younger should continue until either of them dies.
“Having lived within this strange parent-child dynamic for over 40 years is making me feel like I should go running after her, even though I have done nothing wrong, but at the same time I just feel so, so angry that she thinks she can keep behaving like this,” she said.
Describing her mom as “immature,” the woman then called herself “pretty pathetic” for allowing her mom to maintain a “hold” over her. “I’m just so fed up of her manipulation and pettiness,” she added.
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Ivan Pantic/Getty
Woman and daughter arguing (stock image)The post racked up hundreds of comments from people claiming they could relate to her situation and sharing how they cope.
“I also could have written your post. You have my full sympathy and you are not being unreasonable,” said one commenter. “I know the anxiety a narcissistic parent can cause as I have also lived with the control/silent treatment my whole life.
"I am gradually finding it easier to put boundaries in place the older I get but I am still affected by the behavior and it has a constant hold over my life," the same person added.
The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!
Another commenter wrote, “You are an adult now and get to decide how you wish to respond to this. We often forget this with parental figures and end up reverting back to our childlike reactions to their behavior. The ball is in your court and you do not need to apologize or feel guilty for not putting up with this behavior anymore.”
A third response to the post came from someone questioning how the woman’s mom interacts with other people in her life.
“I would keep your distance for a while,” they said. “As you say you are a grown-up with your own children so your mother should treat you as an equal. She does not have the right to say what she wants and you have the right to respond appropriately.
"If she has no friends and limited contact with your sister and other extended family it sounds like she is the problem," they added.
Read the original article on People
