The Ugly Truth About Pretty Privilege: 14 Stories That Prove Pretty Privilege Is Very, Very, Very, Very, Very, Very Real
"Pretty privilege" refers to the advantages and preferential treatment given to people who are considered attractive. It can be expressed in a variety of ways, including career opportunities and social popularity.
So we at BuzzFeed asked the BuzzFeed Community to share their own experiences with or witnessing pretty privilege, and whew, some of the stories are pretty ugly.
Below are 14 of those stories:
And if you have one of your own, definitely let us know in the comments or by filling out this anonymous Google Form. Your responses could be featured in a BuzzFeed Community post!
1."I was doing a home project and went to the hardware store in sweats, a baggy shirt, messy hair, and no makeup. I couldn’t find what I was looking for and nobody came over to help me."
"The next day, I had to go back for something else. I decided to do my hair and makeup and wear a dress. The amount of men who offered to help me was astonishing.
It really pissed me off."
2."I have never fit feminine beauty standards and never will, and the 'ugly tax' has definitely impacted my life. It's not any individual's fault that our society is so messed up, but it does suck."
"I vividly remember inquiring about part-time serving work at a resort where I was already working.
A coworker was with me when I stopped by the bar to talk to the manager. I had experience, my 'Serving It Right' certificate, etc., but the manager immediately said that I wasn't really who they were looking for.
He then turned to my coworker, who was thin and blonde, and asked her if she was interested, right in front of me."
3."I never really knew I was attractive until I wasn't. I'm a 56-year-old gay man, and I'm in the best shape of my life. But in my late 30s and mid-40s, I gained weight and topped over 250lbs. I ran into a guy I used to know, and he said, 'Damn, you used to be hot before you got fat.'"
"Fast forward a few years, and I'm almost at my high school weight at 56 years old. I've had guys who wouldn't give me the time of day when I was younger hit on me (even though they know I'm happily married).
I just politely tell them I don't remember who they are."
4."When I was in my 20s, I went to a TV taping in Nashville. Everyone was standing outside the venue when the production assistants came and started pulling people from the line. One of them told me to stand with the other production assistant, who would take people to the front row, and I heard someone behind me say, 'Well, it looks like they've come for the pretty people first.'"
—Anonymous
5."I always knew I was seen as the 'smart girl' with a 'great personality,' but an instance that drove it home happened when I was studying abroad. Our group was out one night, and another girl from the program and I decided to go up to the bar together to order another drink. She was stunning in a way that reminded me of Anna Nicole Smith. I was awkwardly tall, had plain brown hair, and didn't know how to style myself or do my makeup."
"We both ordered the exact same cocktail from the exact same bartender and paid the exact same price.
Mine came in a regular rocks glass (which I believe was the standard for that drink), while hers was served in a much taller, fancier glass that was at least twice as big as mine.
The 18-year-old me didn't have the confidence to speak up about it, but it definitely put a damper on the rest of my night and made me feel terrible about myself at the moment.
30-year-old me, thinking back on it now, is wondering if the male bartender who made her truly gigantic cocktail had an ulterior motive in doing so, especially now that I remember how drunk she was when we left the bar (several people, myself included, walked home with her and she did get back safely).
In retrospect, my feeling shitty about being the 'ugly' friend pales in comparison to what could have happened to her."
—Anonymous
6."I went from skinny to obese and back to skinny. While fat, nobody looked at me twice, let alone once. Now, I'm back to my old silhouette, and random strangers come up and talk to me. I get a lot of eyeing, too."
7."At my first company, I quickly got a manager position. I built a new department, was responsible for product design, developed the sales proposition, etc. It was all my work. But when a huge client meeting was set up, my boss called me into his office to tell me, 'Irina will attend the meeting; she is so beautiful, and they will love her. You will take part in case she cannot answer a question.'"
"She was beautiful, inside and outside. But she wasn't more capable. I had to answer an embarrassing amount of questions for her in that meeting.
My being more capable still didn't count when bonuses and promotions were up..."
—Anonymous
8."Back in the '80s, my friends and I would go to different clubs; most had huge waiting queues. Even if we were standing all the way in the back, the bouncer would always point to us and usher us straight in. People would think we knew the bouncer, but we didn't. It happened everywhere we went."
"I also filled in at a bar as a barmaid one night; the staff were mainly at a party, so there were two other young women also filling in.
The owner took me aside and asked if I wanted a job there. He said, 'Don't tell the other two. I'm only asking you; they're not pretty enough to work here.'
But one day, I broke my nose and couldn't afford to fix it.
I was at a fashion event with my pretty friends, and we were asked by the photographer to pose for a photo. We lined up and smiled, and the photographer paused, pointed to me, and said, 'Not you.'
A ton of people watched as I had to leave the lineup. I never forgave those girls for not supporting me in that humiliating, public moment."
—Anonymous
9."I was 19, living in LA with a musician and working at a small bar. The owner would not let me do any cleaning or maintenance work. She said, 'You’re the pretty one the customers come in to look at. Let the other girls do the cleaning work.'"
10."There was a convention I attended to meet a CW actor, and he was absolutely lovely and charming to all the pretty young women in the queue. However, I and several 'older' (though we were still younger than him!) women who were just normal ladies, maybe a little overweight, maybe looked our age, received incredibly rude interactions from him."
"I was misgendered — I am very tall, but very clearly female — and he took one brief look at me before staring down at the desk for the rest of the conversation while he was very engaged with the pretty girls.
It soured my feelings for the show, which had been a real comfort show for me until this happened."
—Lou, 37, UK
11."I worked at my high school coffee shop—and let’s just say I was a late bloomer and not pretty. I was yelled at regularly by customers and my manager despite doing my job well. I would get lectured for doing literally nothing wrong. Another employee would do the same things as me, but she never got yelled at by customers or our manager."
"She really would do the SAME EXACT THING I would do to get yelled at (like going into the supply closet, refilling the drink machine, or cleaning the machine), and when she would do it, she would get praised and thanked for helping."
—Bea, 24, Minnesota
12."I had a friend who came out of a job interview frustrated. She told me that she hated when women interviewed her because they asked hard questions. When men interviewed her, the interviews were easier because 'they just thought she was pretty,' and she would inevitably get the job."
13."My friend is absolutely gorgeous. She has hot pink hair that compliments her look and drives a pink Jeep. Should I mention that she's 5'8" and super thin? She's the literal office Barbie, and people in our city recognize her right away. She has a smile to die for, and people instantly fall for her. She's so humble. She's very reserved, too, so it's quite funny to see her get very shy about all the compliments she receives daily when we go out for literally anything. As soon as she walks in, people greet her by name."
"Anything she orders is expedited, her beverages are free, she'll be personally escorted out, her Jeep is parked in the best spots, and anything she asks of people is done without hesitation.
She's truly so kind and giving, so I think more than her physical attractiveness, people find her soul very lovely and gravitate to that."
—Anonymous, 28
14.And to end on a note that is both disappointing and hopeful: "There's a huge gap in the attention received when I was blonde and skinny vs. now that I'm brunette and fat. It's okay, though, because I still like myself and think I'm attractive. 🤷♀️"
So, there you have it, 14 stories that show how pretty privilege is, unfortunately, very real. Did these stories resonate with you? Do you have a story of your own? Let us know in the comments or by filling out this anonymous Google Form.
Your responses could be featured in a BuzzFeed Community post!
