15 of the Worst Helicopter Parents
Earlier this week, The New York Times Magazine published a story about a man who turned his yard into a playground where kids could play sans supervision. There are a few ways of looking at this: a way to help kids develop independence, something that's just way too risky, "free range children!!!", or just a major middle finger to helicopter parents.
After all, those controlling parents on the other end of the spectrum, who hover over their kids like hawks, do indeed exist...and Redditors have shared some of the worst examples of helicopter parenting they've ever seen. Be glad these weren't your folks - or if they were, uh, hope you're doing OK.
1. "My mom once got a job application for me..."
"My mom once got a job application for me, filled it out, signed it, submitted it, got it back, emailed them confirming that I'd take it, then told me she picked up an application for me. So that." -Tubaka
2. "I'm fully convinced [my dad is] the reason I didn't get the job."
"My dad went and visited the place I applied/had an interview with and asked the front desk 'how my interview went.' THEY DON'T F*CKING KNOW. IT'S NOT THEIR JOB. I'm an adult now, stop it. God damn, that was the most humiliating thing ever. I'm fully convinced that's the reason I didn't get the job." -helloitslouis
3. "[His mom] stood with him the whole time."
"I had a friend growing up whose mother was very protective. The father not so much, but she was so bad that my parents called her mama hawk. I invited him to my 10th birthday party, which was at a laser tag place. His mom came, which was fine, but then while we were playing laser tag, she stood with him the whole time. Didn't play, just stayed with him. Really? What was she protecting him from? He turned out surprisingly normal and now lives 1,000+ miles away from her. I'm not sure how she does with that." -830_L
4. "[Her parents] bought a second house next to the campus."
"Parents of a girl I went to college with didn't want her living in the dorms. So they bought a second house next to the campus so she could live with her mother." -Blake001
5. "A parent write a paper for her daughter."
"Had a parent write a paper for her daughter. When it came up, she said she wanted to make sure she got an A on it. Did I have some bad news for her." -Commodre_Wiley
6. "She used to spoonfeed him."
"Teacher here: A friend of mine had a mom who came to lunch everyday with her kid from kindergarten to, last I checked (I've since left that school), second grade. A little much, but the kicker is, she used to spoonfeed him. This child had no issues and was completely capable of feeding himself, but she insisted on feeding him so she could monitor what he ate." -Pizzaisthebestfood
7. "My friend wasn't allowed to use scissors."
"My friend wasn't allowed to use scissors until he was in high school. His parents were insane. You should've seen their reaction when he joined the army." -Felicity_Badporn
8. "Two kids [had to wear] a leash."
"One time I saw a family with two kids probably around age 10 and 12 wearing those child harnesses with a leash ... Those poor kids will probably never know freedom." -dun_bar
10. "[She] wouldn't let her kids play outside."
"My aunt wouldn't let her kids play outside because she saw a hawk once and was afraid it would carry one of them off. They were 5 and 7." -throwyourshieldred
11. "His parents brought in a helmet."
"I work in childcare. Little boy fell over outside and scraped his face. Nothing too serious but his parents brought in a helmet and asked to make sure he wore it at all times while outside." -g00nbags
12. "Vegan friends of ours didn't let their kids sit at at the kids table."
"At a wedding, vegan friends of ours didn't let their kids sit at the kids table because they served Viennese schnitzel there." -wurnz
13. "She wasn't allowed to use the computer."
"A girl in high school wasn't allowed to use the computer at home when there was a storm. Her parents were scared she might get fried." -hoggie1790
14. "She follows her 4-year-old around the playground."
"My friend's sister. She literally follows her 4-year-old around the playground with her hands around him in a protective 'non-touching' embrace. She hovers her arms and hands about his waist or shoulders so that if he falls, she will be there." -BottledApple
15. "He's micromanaging her entire experience."
"I'm at toddler soccer 'practice' with my 3-year-old. We're kicking the ball, I've got a coffee in one hand, my phone in the other, half-paying attention every time my daughter runs off to play with another kid or whatever, but I'm still there and close enough and doing the parenting thing. Here comes this dude and his daughter, and he's got a goddamn equipment bag full of stuff - multiple MLS balls, full gear (shin guards and knee socks and whatever else, I don't even know cause f*ck soccer), carrying a thing of water bottles like you'd see on the sideline of a professional match. Ummmm what?
So I start paying attention, 'cause all me and my daughter do is boot the ball back and forth and we're just now starting to weave through cones and stuff. This guy is next level, and I assumed his daughter would be a prodigy - nope, easily the most nonathletic kid there, and a little chubby to boot, poor thing.
He proceeds to get down on his knees and start physically manipulating her knee, ankle and foot, putting her through the motions of kicking a ball and attempting to explain the biomechanics and kinesiology involved, as well as the physics of striking a soccer ball and the arc on which it will travel, etc. etc. His daughter is obviously miserable, has no aptitude for soccer or any other sport, and hates even being there.
Me and a couple other dads are just staring, mouths agape as this dummy obsesses about every facet of his daughter's soccer experience, from proper hydration to moisture-wicking athletic wear to top-level equipment and proper technique and game theory and sportsmanship do's and don'ts. He's micromanaging her entire experience, criticizing her for missing a cone, berating her for not being 'fast enough' and frankly disrespecting the rest of us by monopolizing the drills, talking over the coach and c*ck-blocking the entire event. Meanwhile, our girls are over there booting a ball into a net and giggling. my daughter's hair is a mess and she's wearing a Paw Patrol T-shirt and Velcro shoes with no socks and kicking a kid-sized ball from Target.
F*k that guy for what he's doing to his daughter. He's sucking the life out of the game and ruining her. Not even kidding. That sh*t is borderline abuse and I almost said something to him. instead, I shrugged, took my kid to McDonald's, and still made it home in time for football." - Mr_Chuckletrousers
(Answers have been lightly edited for spelling and grammar.)
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