People Confessed Issues They Face In HUMONGOUS Age Gap Relationships, And Man, I Could Never Do It
A Reddit user asked couples of the community, "[Those] with a large age difference, how is it different, and what kind of issues do you face?"
Welp, their experiences were pretty darn informative, full of highs, lows, and everything in-between.
In fact, their stories were so eye-opening, they inspired our own BuzzFeed Community to share their age gap relationship experiences.
So, here's what they had to say:
Note: Some submissions include topics of emotional abuse, domestic violence, and suicide. Please proceed with caution.
1."I think like with all dating, it completely depends on the individuals. I (34F) dated a guy (53M) who was basically obsessed with age and weight — I think a lot of the appeal for him was feeling younger by extension. He was shallow and self-absorbed (which had to do with him as an individual and not his age). He thought he'd provide for me in a way that would make me unable to leave him, and I know because he literally said those words to me. He thought I was uncomfortable being around him in public because of the age gap, and when I realized that it was because he’s literally not a good person, that’s when I knew it was time to break up."
2."My boyfriend of eight years is 56, and I'm 39 — he's the best man I've ever been with. We're on the same page and are equal partners. Is it probable that I may need to take care of him as we age? Yeah, it's statistically likely. But life is unpredictable, and you never know what will happen."
"He lost his late wife to a rare cancer when she was 35, and he spent years before that lovingly taking care of her and pushing her wheelchair while she had MS.
If you're unprepared/unwilling to care for your partner, then you shouldn't have one (regardless of the age gap)."
3."I’m 38, and my husband is 54. His children are all in the military, and blame him for his ex-wife’s suicide. It’s difficult at times because he doesn’t let me learn on my own since he already knows things and was a very successful lawyer. We get along for the most part — he loves me and helped me during a really bad point in my life when I was severely depressed. I also helped him when he was in a bad car accident while on the phone with me. We both almost died, but helped each other through those times."
"My mother believes in past lives and thinks we somehow had a past life together. I know I’ll be with him forever, and I completely trust him, which is something I’ve never had.
You can’t chose who you fall in love with — relationships are work, but the good far outweighs the bad. It’s been 16 years now, and I haven’t wanted anyone else beside me but him. ❤️"
4."I’m 27 and currently dating a man who is 65. I asked for his number, and since then, we have hit it off. He takes me out for dinner, walks me home after work, and makes me smile and happy. He has such an upbeat, trendy, and young energy (which I am so attracted to). Things are going well, and I’ve never been happier in my life since meeting him."
5."My mom was 26 when she met my dad, and he was 65. People thought my dad was a predator and that my mom was a 'gold digger,' but that wasn't what I saw at home at all. My parents loved each other. I have an older brother on my dad's side who's in his sixties, and he didn't have a hard time accepting us. But, my brother's wife did because my dad helped them financially. When my dad got married to my mom, my brother's wife said that it was a mistake because he wouldn't give them any more money because he would spend it on us..."
6."When I was 30, I started dating a woman who was 46. She was super hot, but very immature. The sex was great, but I felt like the adult all the time. I felt like a parent and was constantly telling her not to do stupid things. She would close the bars with her 19-year-old daughter, and constantly wind up in bad situations. Idk — it was hell."
7."My boyfriend is 17 years older than me — our relationship is honestly really great, and we're pretty compatible. The main issue I have is I'm currently in school (I'm a returning student), and I'm not working. I feel like a real piece of shit about it. I hate that he has to take care of all of our money, and sometimes I think he'd be better off being with somebody who already has a degree and a decent job so he wouldn't have to worry about that."
"But I know he loves me, and he's so encouraging and motivating when it comes to school. I also do my best to make his life good.
My plan is to eventually finish school, and once I start working, he can do whatever he wants — whether that's working or going back to school to pursue his master's (something he's always wanted, but never had the chance to do)."
8."I was in a relationship with a man 25 years my senior. The age gap didn’t really hit until I visited my parents at their retirement community. I saw the younger wives with their elderly husbands push them around in wheelchairs or having to help them out of the car. I realized what exactly I’d be looking at in the long-term, and TBH, it kinda shook me."
9."My husband is 14 years younger, we have a beautiful relationship, and just had our first daughter. We met when he was in the military — I said no for a year whenever he asked me out, never giving him a chance. I dated more men my age during that time, and they all ended up being less mature. He’s been through a lot in his life, and in the end showed more maturity than most of the men I dated. I had never given a younger person a chance before, but I’m glad that I did. We wouldn’t have our beautiful daughter if I never gave him one — I’m a 37-year-old woman, and he’s a 23-year-old man, we just bought our first house, and can’t wait to have our next kid."
10."My parents have 20 years between them, and the generational differences are their number-one biggest issue. My dad expected my mom to listen and maintain the house and fit in a box. My mom is Catholic, so that worked for a while — but when my dad had to retire because of a disability, things went to shit. He couldn’t work, and his whole sense of self crumbled. My mom stepped up, went to nursing school, and became the 'breadwinner.' Because she was able to take over, he was incredibly jealous, and since he didn’t believe in therapy, he became incredibly petty."
"He could have been open to a different identity by going to therapy (but he couldn’t be because 'men didn’t do therapy' in his generation). But my mom is still Catholic, and feels responsible for him because of his disability — so they’re stuck in this horrifyingly toxic mess of a marriage.
*I* (the 34-year-old child) am still working through the trauma related to their absolute generationally-driven NONSENSE."
11."My friend's mom was 28 when she married a man who was 82. They didn't think they would be able to get pregnant, but evidentially they could. Her husband died four years later at 86, leaving her to be a single mom. Besides that, they had huge issues on both sides. The dad's other children (who were in their fifties) claimed my friend's mom just wanted his money. The mom’s family believed that this man was a cult-leader type, and was luring her into an unhealthy relationship."
12."My friend is 27 and her boyfriend is over 50 years old. She has a difficult time connecting to his daughter (who is 24) because they are so close in age. This is because she is almost like a stepmom, but the age of a friend."
13."I dated a man about 13 years younger than me, and it did not go well because we were never on the same page as far as music, recreational activities, and finances. I now prefer to date men at least my age up to 10 years older. It really makes a difference to me as far as being in a similar stage in life, like planning what we would both want to do in retirement."
14."I married my husband when I was 22 and he was 44. His oldest daughter is four years younger than me. He also has a daughter who’s five years younger than her sister, and a son who’s five years younger than that. We’ve been married nearly 20 years, and my step-kids and I are really close. I can’t have kids, so that’s not an issue. Honestly, the only 'problem' is that he will retire a lot sooner than I can, but I work remotely and can also work from the car, so we still get to travel."
15."I'm 38, and my husband is 64, and we've been married for 17 years now. We do disagree on things from time to time like some people do, but we have a great relationship and three awesome kids. He's very loving, and would do anything for our family."
16.And finally, "I'm 24, and my partner is 55. We both make each other happy, we both help each other get out of sad moods, and know how to cheer each other up. He is the person who I can't stop smiling about when I see him, and he gives me such good advice when I need it. He's never dated anyone more than a year younger than him, so he's sometimes a little apprehensive — but we work well together."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
If *you've* ever been in a relationship with a huge age gap, what's your experience been like? Share your story with us in the comments below (or in this Google Form if you want to remain anonymous).
The best submissions will be featured in a BuzzFeed Community post!
