19 Heartbreaking Confessions From A Troubled Teen Industry Survivor
Note: This post contains mentions of physical and sexual abuse.
If you've ever spent an afternoon (or ten) watching daytime talk shows, you're probably familiar with the troubled teen industry.
Via youtube.com, CBS / Via youtube.com
Promoted by popular TV hosts like Dr. Phil, troubled teen camps promised desperate parents that their "wilderness therapy" or "boot camp" programs could get kids struggling with behavioral issues or risky drug use back on track.
According to the American Bar Association, as of 2021, between 120,000 to 200,000 teens were in these programs, and they received an estimated $23 billion in public funding.
However, these programs can have a dark side. In recent years, more and more survivors of these troubled teen programs have come forward to detail abusive and negligent treatment. Paris Hilton and Bhad Bhabie have shared their heartbreaking stories, and documentaries like The Program on Netflix and Teen Torture Inc. on Max exposed the harms of these largely unregulated "tough love" programs.
Survivors of these programs have shared that they were not given enough to eat, were physically, verbally, and sometimes sexually abused, and were cut off from communication with the outside world, including family members. In some cases, teens have died as a result of their treatment in these programs.
Survivors have also started a movement to educate the public about their experiences. Breaking Code Silence is a survivor-led nonprofit organization that highlights these stories and fights for youth rights.
Recently, on Reddit, a user who survived seven months in the troubled teen industry offered to answer any questions people might have about their experience.
They started the conversation by writing, "I was kidnapped by two people my parents hired to take me forcefully out of my bed when I was 15. This led to me being taken to Utah, where I went through two different programs; the first was similar to the one featured in the documentary Hell Camp, and the second was somewhat similar to the one featured in The Program on Netflix.
I’m still working through what I experienced, but especially with the documentaries out, I wanted to give everyone a chance to AMA [Ask Me Anything]. I’ll do my best to answer any questions anyone has."
Here are some of the most interesting and eye-opening questions and answers from the thread:
1.Q: Did your parents know what was going on there? I've seen some of the advertisements for these places and they make it out like it's a serene camp getaway. Where the child will learn discipline while becoming one with nature. Pretty messed up that they sell it like that and it is really just a nightmare torture place.
A: If they didn’t know it was willful blindness. My father was an attorney so he knew how to ask tough questions if he wanted to. My aunt told my mom, "Don’t do this. He will never forgive you." She told me that as she was dying 😔.
2.Q: Thanks for sharing your story. Those documentaries were really eye-opening. What was the biggest misconception people have about these programs, based on your experience?
A: A lot of people think there has to be a reason why you're sent away. All it takes is evil, selfish parents and anything from sleeping in to whatever they say, and boom, you're gone. Zero due process.
3.Q: What “logic” do they use to justify the kidnapping? I’m sorry your parents were so dogshit as to traumatize their child like that. Hope you continue to heal.
A: For fighting and smoking weed. The issue is that my Dad taught me to roll joints and was quite violent towards me and my family. So I was copying behaviors that were unhealthy but learned. But sending me away instead of stopping smoking with me or hitting me would have been the loving parent thing to do. Especially now that I’m a parent, I would never do any of that.
4.Q: Why the kidnapping out of bed? Can't they just come during the day and forcibly take you? I assume it's a cheap scare tactic, but you're going to figure it out as soon as they take you to a camp.
A: Like you said: to start it off as scary and traumatic as possible. They demand one thing — compliance.
5.Q: Did they simply drive you there blindfolded or was there any part of your travels where you could scream for help?
A: Believe it or not, I went through an airport. They had already beat me up badly twice (at my house where I tried to run and at the airport parking lot ), then they showed you the documents with your parent's signatures, and they pretended they were working with the cops.
So, in a concussed state, I went through the airport. I tried to run again in Dallas but didn’t think the authorities would be on my side. The best thing you can do is yell rape and kidnapping in the airport. The cops will stop it, but with the signature and your clothes packed by your mom, you think you're gonna get in more trouble.
6.Q: Do you have trauma or PTSD of anykind?
A: Yeah, the complex kind. It sucks, but it’s better to understand your issues than wonder why you do certain things.
7.Q: What are you doing to help process the traumas of being somewhere like that? Wishing you peace and healing!!
A: I’ve been to therapy some, but not too much. I smoke a lot of cannabis, and I try to surround myself with healthy, supportive people. Thanks for the well wishes I appreciate it. I don’t let it define me. It was a dark chapter but just a chapter of the book.
8.Q: Do you find that you have trouble trusting "therapists" as a result of this experience? Your parents made an awful choice, and it is going to impact you forever. "Therapists" told them that they were doing the right thing and needed to see the program through to the end.
A: Yes, despite needing therapy, I have a hard time starting it. I can stick with it if the person is decent, but I recently switched insurance and needed a new provider. It’s been multiple months, and I’m just stalling cause I have this weird association with them as snakes.
9.Q: Do you find it cathartic to watch documentaries about the troubled teen industry, or is it retraumatizing? Have you ever written down your own experience?
A: Horribly retraumatizing. I only got 6 minutes in and had to shut it off.
I don’t journal about it or write about it. This is the most I have written in a long time. I do talk about it with a select few people, though.
10.Q: Are you still in contact with anyone else you met in those programs?
A: I’ve connected with people from other programs but, for some reason, never reached out to my buddies from in there. I think I’ll reach out; what’s the worst that can happen? They made it difficult by not letting us know each other's last names, so I only know a few people's full names.
11.Q: How did the family dynamic change once you returned home? I'm so sorry for what you went through. No child deserves that, no matter how difficult they are as a teenager.
A: I was the black sheep both before and after, but my refusal to shut up about it made it worse. At this point, I’m not really a part of my family. They haven’t even met my daughter. And yeah, I agree these places cause only harm. No one comes out better. The crazy part is I was playing JV lacrosse and had a B average.
12.Q: I’m sorry you went through that. Do you have a relationship with your parents?
A: I speak to my mom, but she hasn’t even met my child, and the relationship is unfixable. I don’t speak to my "father" at all.
13.Q: You mentioned being strictly no contact with your dad, but why are you still in touch with your mom?
A: My dad made it clear he wasn’t sorry. Honestly, one of my biggest regrets is not going no contact with my mom. At this stage we barely have a relationship after years of time and energy wasted.
14.Q: What was the worst thing, and what was the best thing you took from this experience?
A: I learned a level of humility in the face of adversity, so I try to make the most of that, but really, it was a terrible experience. The worst was getting tortured and the lingering loss of trust in having it done at the behest of my parents.
15.Q: Do you have any legal recourse against your parents? A civil suit of some sort?
A: Less for this and more for other things like abuse prior or after, but they are old and I’m trying to move on with my life. The camp closed and reopened under a different name, so I can’t sue a dormant entity. The best thing I can do is heal and move forward.
16.Q: Do you think parents should be arrested for sending kids to these camps?
A: I think they should pass a federal ban on them. I’m not sure how they are not violating the kidnapping statute when they hire people to literally kidnap you. And yes, they should be arrested.
17.Q: Were your parents wealthy? Do you know how they paid for it? These places seem to be all out of pocket/payment upfront.
A: Yes, they were wealthy, and they paid for it with my college fund, which my grandma set up. They didn’t pay a penny.
18.Q: Have you considered that as horrible as it was, it may have been preferable to living with the parent you’ve described? Do you think you grew more as a person by leaving home? I’m not trying to validate the practice. My concern is more that it’s easier for us to rationalize behavior from loved ones as normal/acceptable and thus repeat it.
A: No, my dad never tortured me; these places don’t fuck around. A punch in the face seemed like nothing compared to Utah.
19.Q: Is there anything you wish people — especially parents considering those programs — would understand about what really goes on in those places?
A: I figure if I can shed some light on this or stop one parent from sending their kid, then I have done some good here.
I wish parents knew this is the worst thing you can possibly do. Your kid won’t get better but worse, and they probably will never forgive you. If they are addicted to drugs, put them in a mental hospital or court-mandated rehab. If they are getting in trouble with the law, let that work its course.
Juvenile facilities (state-run) are far preferably for a variety of reasons including but not limited to:
Your time is determined (6 months vs. indefinite)
Meals are guaranteed by law (they can legally withhold food and water as punishment)
They don’t try and get in your head; it’s just stay out of trouble
These programs demand compliance, and they tear you down, leaving severely traumatized people; I am probably doing better than most.
Were you surprised by anything they shared about the troubled teen industry? Or do you have any personal experience with these programs? Tell us what you think in the comments.
And if you've had a life experience that you'd like to answer questions about for a future BuzzFeed post, let me know in this anonymous Google form.
Read more AMAs:
A Man Who Has Narcissistic Personality Disorder Let People Ask Him Anything They Wanted, And His Answers Are Eye-OpeningMegan Liscomb · Nov. 19, 2024
This 45-Year-Old Sugar Daddy Is Opening Up About What His Lifestyle Is Really Like, And It's WildMegan Liscomb · Oct. 26, 2024
21 Brutally Honest Confessions From An American Evangelical Pastor Who Left The ChurchMegan Liscomb · Oct. 10, 2024
