21 (More) Therapy Bombshells That Might Completely Change Your Outlook On Life Right Now
Whether you're currently in therapy, taking a break from it, or haven't gone yet, hearing advice from therapists can be incredibly helpful and healing.
We recently asked our BuzzFeed Community to share some of the best therapy tips they've ever gotten, and we received so many excellent responses that we had to do a Part 2. Here's what they had to say:
1.“'You’re the one you have to live with forever, so you should be at the top of your list of people to please.' I love repeating it to people because it’s so unusual to hear but so obvious."
2."'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.' That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."
3."My therapist said, 'Social media is everyone's highlight reel. Do you think it's useful to compare that with the blooper reel of your life you have in your head?' That stuck with me."
4.“'You can’t say yes if you can’t say no.' This was profound for someone who grew up being expected to accommodate other people in every situation at all times."
5."When I would start to fall into an anxiety spiral over something bad that could happen, I’d say 'But what if [XYZ happens]?' and my therapist would say, 'What if it doesn’t?' It sounds incredibly simple, but it taught me that worrying about something that might not (and usually probably won’t) happen is a waste of time, energy, and joy. It’s one of the best tools in my anxiety-fighting toolbox to this day, ten years later."
6."I learned that even though I had 'good' parents, it is okay to feel like they failed me in terms of understanding and helping me with my anxiety. It can be true that they cared about me and also harmed my mental health. It took a lot for me to come to terms with this."
7."'Whatever you did as a child in order to survive wasn't wrong, it was genius. But those same behaviors won't serve you well as an adult.'"
8."Realizing when thoughts aren't helpful. If my anguish and obsessing aren't going to change the outcome, then there's no point in spending my mental energy on them. Spend your energy on things that make you feel better, not worse."
9."You dont have to buy every thought your brain is selling."
10."When wanting to make amends with people who hurt me…why would I give the broken pieces of myself back to someone who broke me?"
11."Changing old patterns is hard, and you're gonna mess up, and that's OK as long as you get back on the horse."
12."'You put a premium on logic. If you spend your whole life expecting others to do the same, you're in for a lifetime of hurt and misunderstanding.'"
13."I’ve been seeing a therapist for a few years now, and one time she told me, 'You spend so much time filling up other people's cups, but who fills yours?' It floored me and made me realize that someone can do so much for others but never get that in return."
14."'Some people aren't capable of being or doing what you need of them. You need to accept that and move forward or move on.' The amount of weight that she lifted off of me with just a few words, I can never describe."
15."'Your brain is meant to keep you alive, not keep you happy. It adapted accordingly, so let’s teach it how to keep you alive without misery.'"
16."I remember her saying to me once, 'You always think you're the one who is at fault, but other people are fucking up, too.' It sounds so simple, but it really helped."
17."As a psychotherapist, I would say the most common thing I tell patients is 'Ok,' as in 'That’s fine, you are human. You can have emotions and feel certain ways about certain things. You don’t need to check in with others to see if what you are feeling is good with them.'"
18."'Thoughts are neither good nor bad. They're merely helpful or unhelpful. If a thought you have is unhelpful, you have the power to replace it with a helpful one.'"
19."'What if you live your life and make all your decisions as if you are right about everything instead of assuming you are wrong?'"
20."'You’ve survived all of the worst days of your life. You have the skills to survive this one.'"
21.And finally, "After years in therapy and healing work, my therapist told me, 'The hard work is done. You’ve done it all. Now live your life. Enjoy yourself. You’re THERE.' That made me stop to reflect and appreciate my life and the hard work that I did to become the person I am today."
Did a therapist ever say something to you that changed your perspective on life? Tell me in the comments.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
