A Little Too Relieved About TikTok? A Phone Cleanse Might Be Just What You Need

Jenna Ryu
·9 min read

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So…it looks like TikTok is safe for now here in the US. But if even the thought of saying RIP to your FYP had you spiraling, it could be a sign from the universe to still consider that phone cleanse.

Hear me out: If you mentally prepared to say goodbye to TikTok anyway, it could be the perfect opportunity to make those digital changes you’ve been considering but couldn’t commit to before. “Certain events that feel like a ‘fresh start’ can increase your motivation to pursue goals,” Jacqueline Nesi, PhD, assistant professor who studies the role of social media in mental health at The Warren Alpert Medical School of Brown University, tells SELF—just as lots of us are often inspired to set New Year’s resolutions. So, for some people (myself included), the rollercoaster of the short-lived TikTok ban might represent that catalyst to finally unplug and reassess our relationships with social media.

Speaking for myself, I’ve been forced to face some uncomfortable truths about myself as I geared up to say goodbye to TikTok. I worried I'd be embarrassingly…empty without my usual 30-second bursts of distractions and late-night scroll sessions. I might also have started grieving a little, grappling with the loss of my biggest source of downtime (and, unfortunately, screen time). And judging by the panicked videos on my FYP leading up to last night's ban, I wasn't the only one spiraling.

To an extent, these reactions are understandable, Nancy Colier, LCSW, New York City-based psychotherapist and author of Power of Off: The Mindful Way to Stay Sane in a Virtual World, tells SELF. After all, “there’s joy in this app,” Colier says. “It can be a quick form of relief. It’s also a place where some feel connected to others, with the world. So there may be grief or terror, like, ‘What will I do to fill that?’” But such strong, emotional responses could also be your nudge to reflect on how much your device is controlling your mood (and day-to-day).

Of course, there’s no need to force yourself into a phone cleanse, especially if you’re feeling good about your tech habits. And it’s important to keep in mind that while these online platforms aren’t inherently good or bad, how you use them can impact your well-being. For anyone who is interested in cutting their screen time, though, here are a few expert tips on starting a digital detox that isn’t just doable—but also refreshing.

Who should try a phone cleanse?

Just about anyone can benefit from taking a social media break, Dr. Nesi says. (And if you’re curious about what you stand to gain, here’s a list of the biggest mental health perks.) However, she recommends one simple question to help you figure out if you’re a good candidate: Does your phone make you feel more connected or, well, less?

This is pretty subjective, but there are a few common clues that point toward the latter, according to Dr. Nesi: If your Instagram habit is messing with your sleep, for instance, or the people around you IRL are getting pissed that you’re always glued to your cell, those are some biggies. Another indicator? When being on your phone makes you more anxious and stressed—which a barrage of notifications about stressful news events can definitely do. (And given what’s going on in the world right now—a new presidency, the Los Angeles wildfires—now might be an especially convenient time for any of us to step back and unplug.)

It’s also worth reflecting on how these platforms make you feel about yourself. As SELF previously reported, platforms like Instagram and TikTok can be great for staying connected to your friends and the world around you. But when your inner dialogue starts slipping into a spiral of “should” statements—like “I should look like this” or “I should be doing that, too”— it could be a sign that your time online is breeding self-comparison and insecurity rather than joy and community.

How to do a social media cleanse you’ll actually stick with

In a world where we go live on TikTok to do our skin care routines, returning to our pre-technology roots isn’t the easiest transition. That’s because, like with any addictive behavior, cutting back on social media can come with its own version of withdrawal symptoms, research shows. “Your anxiety might temporarily go up [without your phone], your mind may race and be frantic,” Colier says.

Luckily, these temporary reactions are “normal parts of the adjustment process,” she adds—and they won’t last forever. Even better, these expert tips should make easing into healthier phone habits much more manageable (and way less torturous).

1. First, decide why you want to cut back.

Maybe you’ve realized that seeing airbrushed Instagram models on your feed is killing your confidence—and you need space to build a better self-image. Perhaps getting rid of distractions could free up more time for you to apply to your dream job. Or honestly, you might be surprised by how low-key devastated you were at the prospect of losing TikTok and want to reassess your relationship with tech.

Whatever your particular reason, Dr. Nesi says it’s worth “evaluating why you want to make that change, and get really specific about why this is important to you.” That way, you have a clear sense of purpose, which she says should make it easier to stay committed—and on track—whenever motivation dips.

2. Define what your break entails.

Jumping on the phone cleanse bandwagon doesn’t mean you’re signing up for a life without screens, Dr. Nesi says. Whether it’s deactivating your social accounts for a few days, deleting apps altogether for a month, or challenging yourself to go phone-free for the whole weekend, the choice is yours. It’s all about what feels right (and realistic) for you.

But if any of these still sound like too much to start with, don’t worry—Colier recommends a simpler starting point for beginners: Try cutting your screen time in half. In other words, “If you usually spend four hours a day on your phone, aim to reduce it to two for the first week,” she suggests. The beauty of a digital detox is it’s entirely customizable to suit your own needs and goals.

3. Practice leaving your phone behind in small doses.

The thought of being “unreachable” for even an hour can feel daunting. (And if you’ve got kids, say, or deal with frequent work emergencies, it’s not always practical.) But if you are able to go off the grid for a few minutes, Colier recommends taking advantage of those instances.

This could look like leaving your cell in the charger, out of sight, while you’re eating dinner. Or taking your dog for a 10-minute walk without it. These baby steps can subtly break the habit of needing to constantly reach for your phone, Dr. Nesi says, making it easier to see that, hey, you don’t need to expect constant pings and notifications every second.

4. Enlist the help of another app—or friend—to hold you accountable.

It’s easy enough to delete a few apps, but if you’re worried about maintaining your cleanse, there are focus tools, like Freedom, Pomodoro, and Self Control, that can block access from platforms like Instagram and Facebook, in case the temptation creeps in.

Better yet, you can turn your digital detox into a team effort with a friend who’s also feeling the pull to unplug. Together, you can hold each other accountable, Dr. Colier says, by celebrating small wins and preoccupying yourselves with new activities. For instance, sign up for post-work yoga sessions together, or plan regular no-phones dinner dates. Sharing the experience not only makes it easier to stay on track, but it’s also an opportunity to strengthen your IRL connection as you swap mindless scrolling for meaningful memories.

5. Replace your usual phone time with a non-techy substitute

Rather than turning to another screen (a computer or TV, for instance) to fill the void, both experts recommend using those in-between moments to immerse yourself in a hobby that doesn’t rely on technology.

There are plenty of mental health benefits to this—and the best part is, it’s not about the specific activity itself. Rather, just having one at all to tap into those feel-good chemicals. The key, according to Colier, is doing something that keeps your mind engaged (and distracted), without being so tedious that it feels like a chore. In other words, don’t force yourself to complete a 1000-piece puzzle or go birdwatching if neither of those things genuinely pique your interest. (Looking for more inspo? Consider crafting, painting, yoga, or baking.)

Generally, it also helps to reframe this break not as a restriction, but more so an opportunity to dive into something you’ve been meaning to do more of—whether that’s making running a daily habit, say, finally committing to a consistent meditation routine, or experimenting with a new dinner recipe each week. Plus, you can always carry over any new hobbies you picked up during this hiatus into your post-cleanse life (which brings us to our final pointer).

6. Reintroduce your phone mindfully.

The whole purpose of your social media cleanse would fall flat if you immediately jumped back into those same unhelpful scrolling patterns—which is why both experts say it’s important to ease back in with intention.

Maybe you start by redownloading a few apps vs. all of them at once. Or if you’re worried about slipping into your doomscrolling days, Colier recommends turning off notifications (maybe except for texts and emails), so you’re not bombarded with constant pings.

There’s no right answer to how long a “good” break needs to last—it’s all about what feels right for you. The good news, though, is you can simply delete the apps anytime they stop serving you. As long as you stay aware of when your phone begins to feel draining or unhelpful—and follow the expert tips above—you can create a relationship with your device that adds to your life, instead of pulling you away from it.

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Originally Appeared on Self

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