8 Sex Workers Share Their Beauty & Wellness Routines
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Welcome to Doing It, a column where sex educator Varuna Srinivasan explores the deep connections between sex and emotions. This month, they asked sex workers to share their beauty and self care routines.
In the 19th century, Union and Confederate soldiers arrived in the major cities of Washington D.C, Tennessee and Pennsylvania to participate in the civil war. Living in barracks, miles away from their families, young men (regardless of relationship status) were more than willing to pay for intimacy and sex as a way to entertain themselves.
Though prostitution is famously the world’s oldest profession, it ballooned in the United States during this period. Capitalizing on the demand for these services, madams and sex workers flocked to urban spaces to set up lodgings and brothels. About 150 years later, sex work is an industry that has grown exponentially with the help of technological advances like the telephone and internet and is now worth multiple billions of dollars across the globe. Today, in addition to full service sex work, anyone (not just sailors) can pay for services related to escorting, porn, cam work, phone sex, erotic dancing, and stripping.
Sex workers aren’t just entrepreneurs running their own small businesses; they’re also some of the earliest sex educators (many of us first learn about sex through porn), labor union advocates, and beauty influencers. Throughout history, bold makeup—particularly red lipstick—has been associated with prostitution. In our modern content creator times, many sex workers have gained a following on TikTok by posting Get Ready With Me/Storytime videos that pair elaborate beauty routines with anecdotes from the job.
Despite their economic contributions and cultural influence, sex workers remain one of the most targeted groups in the country, often subject to unfair labor laws, violence, and moral policing. Unlike other forms of labor, sex work is a service provided in close intimate proximity to clients. As a result, there is an expectation of physical upkeep and emotional labor on the part of the sex worker to meet the individual or unique needs of each of their clients.
Like workers in any industry, sex workers can fall victim to burnout. But when that happens, these professionals are largely on their own. In a system that offers little to no protection, sex workers often have to figure out their own models of care. They built their own communities and remain some of the most resilient activists, offering emotional support, legal and immigration help and health care assistance. ”Balancing sex work with life often feels overwhelming and draining,” says Sydney, a sex worker based in Las Vegas. “Taking time for myself is part of how I preserve my sanity.”
To learn more about how they take care of their emotional health, I spoke to eight sex workers about how they indulge in self-care regimens, enforce boundaries, and find joy. (Plus, of course, I got their best makeup trips: If a product or technique is good enough for a particularly sweaty session, it’s definitely good enough for a regular old night out.)
Mari V, 38, Bay Area
I used to be a MAC-certified makeup artist, but I was let go during the pandemic. I wasn’t keen on returning to work and leaving my kids at home, so I turned to sex work. I made $1,000 on my first day on OnlyFans and it essentially kept us fed and clothed.
Unwinding and getting rid of the day is just as important as getting ready for it. I have a “fuck off” goodnight ritual kit waiting for me when I come back from my day. It’s a little pile waiting next to my bed that includes a cup of tea, silky pajamas, makeup remover spray (my favorite is the One/Size makeup remover spray which is essential for exhausted sexy babes; you spray it on your face and it melts the makeup off), make up wipes, and a lavender pillow mist. [Editor's note: A rep for One/Size confirmed that the Go Off Makeup Remover Spray has been discontinued.]
The best makeup tip I have is an old drag queen tip: Mist the air with some hairspray and put your face under it. Also, glitter around your eyes makes tricks feel like they are seeing stars—literally. It hypnotizes people and makes them fall in love.
Chloe Venom, 37, NYC
As a sex worker, I focus on keeping a routine so I can maintain a work/life balance. I make it a point to prioritize my boundaries and practice saying no. This goes hand in hand with listening to my gut; if something feels off or wrong and I don't want to do it, I don't do it.
I make time to rest; otherwise, my body will make time for it, and it won't be when it's convenient for me. When I need to take a mental health day, I log off social media, vent to my other sex worker friends, and enjoy a day at the Korean spa with a body scrub and a really long foot scrub. A good revenge movie like I Spit on Your Grave or Carrie also does the trick.
Oran Julius, 30, NYC
I don't have any makeup tips because I don't wear it. Supposedly that's good for your skin and pores, but I just don't because I don't have the patience!
I like to use an unscented bar soap from Dove, specifically the one for sensitive skin. Not only does it limit skin irritation but it also gives a neutral base smell that I can layer other scents onto, like my perfume of choice, which is Jo Malone’s Mimosa & Cardamom. Mixing too many scents can be overwhelming and may trigger a headache for a client, especially one who is sensitive to smells.
After a particularly exhausting session, I love to take a hot bubble bath with Epsom salts and cuddle up to a horror movie.
Iris Eclipse, 27, NYC
Full service sex work (FSSW) can not only be dangerous but emotionally taxing and physically exhausting. I have many privileges and some risks as a white transfemme sex worker, so I do everything I can to mitigate those risks. While there is no one singular way to keep yourself safe, there are a lot of small things you can do that add up.
First off, download an app that allows you to report phone numbers and check previous reports. Next, require that clients send pictures of themselves and their photo ID. Finally, always letting someone you trust know where, when, and how you'll be when you're with a client. I let my clients know in advance that "someone will be expecting a phone call from me by X time to let them know I'm safe." There have been times that I have been unable to turn down clients who won't screen, but at the end of the day, the absolute best thing you can do for yourself is trust your instincts.
For makeup, setting spray is an absolute must. For both FSSW and filming collabs, you are going to get sweaty, your makeup will get smudged, and it's best to keep [your makeup] with you so you can reapply on your way out or midway through a shoot. Once I get home, I try to have a warm meal and read a book to help me decompress so that I can come back into my own body, mind, and space.
Sydney, 36, Las Vegas
Balancing sex work with life often feels overwhelming and draining, so taking time for myself is part of how I preserve my sanity. I often encourage my peers to take time for self-care in whatever way it looks for them. If we don't take care of our bodies and minds, this job is not sustainable. Taking time away from work often feels like a privilege, but I always like to remind myself that taking care of myself enables me to do my job better and helps me feel more sexy, confident, and desirable.
As self-proclaimed "Self-Care Royalty," self-care is a really important part of my routine. My favorite thing to do is indulge in skin care, both for the face and the body. I also love making my own hair masks: I mix together castor oil, tea tree oil, an egg, and honey and slather it on my scalp and down to the tips of my hair. While the hair mask is sitting on my scalp, I like to apply a face mask and spend 20-30 minutes reading, writing, or meditating. After they've each had time to sit, I take a shower and use a shower bomb to give myself a more luxurious experience. Once I've washed the hair mask out and everything, I like to apply a sheet mask as I apply lotion to my body. I finish off with my regular skin care and often call it a night.
The best piece of advice I think I can offer about self-care is that self-care doesn't have to be expensive; it is a necessity for helping prevent burnout. Find ways to take care of yourself whenever and wherever you can within your own means.
Cassie Black, 36, NYC
As a makeup artist and a sex worker who has done scenes with facial cum shots, I have my makeup down to a science. It's all about prepping to set the skin and keeping the makeup light. I always start with a primer that's matte, Supergoop SPF, and a medium coverage foundation. I lock that base in with an NYX setting spray and the Ilia translucent powder. I keep a pressed powder with me to touch up between scenes. If I want a setting spray that's also waterproof, I'll use the Kryolan setting spray. I also wear lipstick, but since it would get smeared, I just dab it and rub it in so that there's just a light tint.
It can be a lot to be on camera, so aftercare is really important to me. Immediately after a scene, I make sure to pee to prevent a UTI, and then I'll take a shower, clean up, and get in my comfy clothes (I always show up to set in comfy clothes, too). Depending on who I'm working with, I'll either hang out for a bit or head home to decompress alone (I'm a big introvert). I'm usually starving by the time I'm done, so I'll eat a really good recovery meal and drink a lot of water.
I always vet the person I'm working with—whether that's looking to see who they have worked with, talking to other creators who know them, or meeting for a quick hang before we schedule a shoot. Before shooting, I ask to see recent STI test results (I, of course, share mine as well and disclose that I am herpes positive), then we talk about boundaries and anything that's off-limits for the scene. We'll also go through what positions we'll be doing and go over our lines if there's a script. I also take a bunch of nudes before the shoot to get me into the zone
Valentine, 36, Portland
Whenever engaging in any in-person work, always get paid first. This goes for anyone you work with for any length of time. Sadly, even the most long standing clients and fans can take advantage of us when it comes to payment after the session. Whenever you can, commit to this boundary.
I highly recommend Maybelline Superstay Matte Lipstick over gloss. Once it’s dried, it’s locked in, and even if it fades a little, it will take work to get off.
For self-care, I enjoy stretching or yoga, a hearty meal post-shoot or client, a cold soda water, and hot showers (in any order). It’s so nice to decompress and recharge for the next rendezvous. I also get regular chiropractic care and massages for overall body wellness. It’s essential when arching your back, staying in weird modeling poses, or lashing someone over and over.
Mistress Lauren, 26, NY
A few months after becoming an in-person pro-domme, I started getting sick a lot. Part of it was definitely being up close and personal with so many different men, having them sucking on my toes and breathing all over me. But the main problem was my sleep schedule. I was so in love with this new job and the money and the excitement that I was basically always "on-call" (the place I work operates that way instead of having us wait at the dungeon during shifts), and so I would work nearly every time someone wanted to see me.
It was unsustainable because I prioritized working over sleeping, eating, working out, and everything else. If I wanted to continue in this job, I needed a better work-life balance to stay healthy. So I got an all access membership at Equinox. It is so expensive but I had a place anywhere in the city that I could go into, work out through my stress, charge my phone, and decompress overall. Plus, I can use the steam rooms and showers when I need to rinse off a particularly icky session with certain clients.
I would highly recommend that anyone new in the industry to have a place, an activity, or friends that require you to fully step away from your work as often as you need. In this work, it's really important to take breaks and prioritize your mental and physical health.
Read more from Doing It:
Sex-Positive Cruises Aren’t Just for Swingers Anymore
What Exactly Is a Polycule Anyway?
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