Men Are Revealing Their Biggest Regrets About Getting Married, And It Might Change The Way You Think
If you ask anyone married, they'll tell you how much work and love goes into it. And even so, sometimes you don't get the promise of happily ever after just because you said, "I do." Reddit user skullman_ps2 asked men, "What's the biggest thing you regret about getting married?" Here's what the guys had to chime in with:
Note: Some submissions are from this Reddit thread.
1."Marrying the wrong person."
2."Getting married when I was too young. At 21, I was not old enough to know a lot of things that I should have known."
3."I regret holding in all the things that I could have said. I spent years being coached to leave when I'm angry instead of talking out my problems. This has led to years of us constantly not talking when it's the one thing we need to do."
4."Cheating on my wife. I love her and I will regret that until my dying breath. Take it from me — don't ever go down that path."
5."Not cohabiting first."
6."As a divorced man, I regret all of it."
7."I thought I met the best possible match for a soulmate at 20. We waited eight years to get engaged, then married at year 10 but drifted apart by our first wedding anniversary. Shortly after, she told me she thought I would change after marriage. Instead of our child-free life in the city that we'd been planning, she wanted to move to the suburbs, for me to give up my dreams, and have kids ASAP. Consistency feels like an illusion to me now, and I don't trust what people say or believe what they want anymore, even after years of connection."
8."Dead bedroom for decades. I eventually cheated — no excuses, I was ready to be gone by then — and we ended up divorced. My kids were in their 20s and said it was fully expected. They didn't know why it took so long to figure out we were not a good pairing. Whether or not I ever find someone else, I would be happier alone with my cats than they saw me with their mom. Things I wish someone had told me 20+ years ago, but you try to keep it together until you can't."
9."Not putting in the effort that is expected. My wife put in all the effort and I didn't try hard enough."
10."Not leaving sooner."
11."We married during Covid, so we didn't get a wedding. Feels silly to do one now, but I hate I missed out."
12."We both somewhat regret not having more kids. We stopped at two because we were confident in our ability to provide for them financially, while still meeting our other financial goals for lifestyle and retirement. We wanted to make sure we'd be able to give the kids enough quality time. But looking at where we are now, things would have been fine with one or two more."
13."I regret saying unnecessary and unkind words to her in the past when I was angry more than regretting anything about our marriage. We married young and were both virgins when we got together. Sex is great. Her personality suits me perfectly. We are like chalk and cheese and opposites in most ways. Sure, it can get frustrating, but mostly, it means we have to increase our communication skills, which is always good. I regret some of my poor early parenting decisions more than any part of my marriage."
14."Failing to recognize how quickly she would abandon sex. I've lived in a sexless relationship for 40 years thinking it was better for the children. My brother told me years ago that the kids adapt to any situation. He was correct, and I now despair. We live separately, but it sucks."
15."I would never marry someone again who I've never argued with."
16."I picked based on potential. We both had a similar crappy upbringing. She expressed interest in healing from it. I knew I was further along than she was, so I figured I could help her. Once we got married, she stopped progressing. She became extremely toxic and controlling and blamed me for everything. So, my biggest regret was getting married before I saw how she was. A little more time, and I think it could've been obvious. There were small signs at first, I just thought they'd get better. So, bad idea there."
17."Getting forced into marriage. My wife is beautiful and has it together, and she'll sometimes joke about how she forced me to marry her. She's not wrong. The biggest regret is being forced into a marriage, and though she's an incredible woman, we have a surface-level relationship. It's like Pleasantville and eats slowly away at my soul. She enjoys being in the know about neighborhood issues and likes to be around people, even people she doesn't particularly get along with. I've become indifferent, mostly because I have no interest in the majority of the topics she enjoys. However, she is nice to look at and easy to get along with."
18."I regret that I created a situation where my wife thought I would never leave her no matter how awful she acted. She took that as a license to do whatever she wanted. I wish I had started day one by saying that there was a line, and if she crossed it, I was gone because I think we both would have been happier."
19.And finally, "I should have told her I loved her sooner. I was scared. Luckily, she knew it and it all worked out in the end."
Do you have any regrets about your marriage? Share your story in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
