Avoid This Popular Drink, And 43 Other Tips Older Women Swear By (And Wish They'd Known Way, WAY Sooner)
I asked older women in the BuzzFeed Community to share the tips, tricks, and life hacks they wish they'd known way sooner. From things they avoid to the advice that changed their lives, here are 44 things they shared:
1."I'm in dermatology/plastic surgery and my advice to younger women is: PLEASE stop going overboard with fillers. When you plump your face up with these products, eventually it will fade and you will end up with loose, saggy skin. Less is more. Lasers for tightening will be much more beneficial to you in the long run."
2."Do movement and exercise that feel good to you! No matter what it is. If you enjoy it, you are more likely to stick with it."
"It's a lot more fun to get out of shape than it is getting back into shape. Start an exercise routine that works for you and don't stop."
3."MOISTURIZE everyday, head to toe, no matter how yucky it feels. Your old skin will reward you!"
4."You don't have to produce something to have it be worthwhile. I took a dance class — I'm never going to be a dancer, but it was fun! We keep thinking that everything we do has to have a deeper meaning and purpose or to make money or something. Really, you can just enjoy and exist."
5."Embrace aging out of being seen as a sex object. It's so freeing to not worry about your attractiveness as perceived by others anymore. I've realized what a drain of my time and energy that was and how insecure it made me. Trying to fight aging will just make you miserable. Now that I've fully accepted my cronehood, I'm so much happier with myself and more at peace. Older bodies are beautiful just as they are."
6."Even though you're an adult, remember to always keep the child you were nearby. I’m 58 and still geek out about holidays, really good reads, animals, Star Wars, Marvel, etc. It’s keeps life rich!"
7."If you have the means to, schedule an annual physical and be up to date on your Pap smears. Even if you are in the US, most insurance companies will fully cover preventative services, which include annual physicals and Paps. They are awkward, but it’s very important to catch things early. It’s easier to treat things early than wait until it’s almost too late."
"Preventative care. Go to the gynecologist, doctor, and dentist regularly. Get those Pap smears, mammograms, cleanings, etc. If you can get a skin cancer check every couple of years, do it."
8."Assume that all the women you meet are potential friends, not rivals. Believe in female friendship. Being a 'mean girl' will just make you miserable and lonely."
9."Find what you love and do it for yourself. Don’t just coast by in a rut, just existing. Find what makes you happy and embrace it. HOBBIES. Thankfully, as you get older, you realize other people actually aren’t that judgemental, and telling someone you’re obsessed with jigsaws or that you spend all your free time creating a herb garden or learning car mechanics actually makes you a much more interesting person, too."
"It’s hard to find something you really enjoy, but take the time to try things. Hobbies also may help with confidence, learning new skills, meeting new people, etc. I can’t overstate how important it is to find something for YOU. Invest in yourself."
10."Talk to trustworthy and compassionate people about body/physical changes as you age, so you know what to expect and that you’re not alone."
"Know these changes are bound to happen, and there is no shame in them. Commiserating and sharing with each other about the changes makes it easier to adjust to them and not be so scared of aging."
11."Take good care of your teeth. I know routine exams/cleanings can be expensive, but root canals and extractions are even worse and very time-consuming."
"Dentures suck."
12."If you don’t have the energy to do a full workout, do the bare minimum to get your blood moving, whether it’s walking or doing a quick squat-push up-sit up cycle."
13."Learn what does and doesn't work for your body, and do your best to live that way. Everyone’s body is different. The more I try to force myself onto a 'regular' sleep schedule that matches everyone else’s, the more exhausted and stressed out I get. When I finally let myself just sleep when I’m tired and do stuff when I’m awake — whatever time that may be — I’m 1000% more energetic and happy and productive."
14."My mom always told me this one. When you become a mom, your life doesn't stop. I think that's very true. You can have kids and still go out clubbing. That's something I forgot for the first few months after I had my kid. Life goes on."
"I still will get to have my college graduation and celebrate my daughter's 6 months on this weird, wonderful Earth."
15."If you have acne-prone skin as a late teen or twenty-something, try switching to just a very basic routine using sensitive skin products for a couple of months and see if it helps. The problem might actually be all of the stuff you're using to combat your acne, all of which is incredibly irritating to the skin."
"And though it seems counterintuitive, moisturize! I got super busy/lazy in my mid-20s and stopped doing my multi-step skincare routine I was using to unsuccessfully get rid of my acne. Imagine my surprise when my skin cleared up. Over the years since, I've figured out my skin would much prefer if I just left it the eff alone. I can't even wash twice a day; it's too drying. I used to use Stridex pads and straight rubbing alcohol in my teens! I'm surprised my face hasn't gained sentience, and filed a restraining order."
16."DO BREAST SELF-EXAMS! Don't skip it for several months, thinking you're 'too young' to get breast cancer."
"This is especially true if you have any Ashkenazi Jewish background, as you're at higher risk. Three of my Ashkenazi Jewish classmates passed away from breast cancer before age 35. Be vigilant!"
17."Working on managing stress starting TODAY. Try different things until you figure out what works. It truly is a silent killer, IMO."
18."Don’t be afraid to cut old 'friends' out of your life if they’re really not friends. When we are younger, we tend to be more amicable to people so that they will be our friends. Stop doing that! If you're friends with people who always put themselves first or use you purely as a soundboard for their own problems but are never there for you, cut them loose, and don’t look back! And don’t be surprised if you never hear from them again, because they really don’t care about you. They only care about themselves."
19."Stretch! As you get older, you can’t just go hard and do a quick cool down and expect your body to be cool with it. I schedule a time now after my workouts to do a cool down and stretch out that takes almost as long as my workout itself. If I don’t, I get injured or am so tight that I can’t workout again for a couple days. I work on endurance, building muscle, flexibility and balance in equal measure now."
20."Whether it's work, relationships, friendships, etc., it's OK to set boundaries. I've talked to so many people this past year who would work through lunches and put in extra hours after everyone else would sign off. And now, most of us are dealing with various stages of burnout. We've made a pact to take our lunch break, sign off at 5, and get back to enjoying the things that make life enjoyable."
21."Wear earplugs in loud areas. Have earplugs handy for unexpected loud situations. If you find yourself in a loud situation with no earplugs, then do your best to get away. There are even earplugs designed to allow some sound through, so you can still hear important things. I have better hearing than a lot of people around my age — it's awesome. Conversations will be a lot less frustrating for you in the future if you plug your ears."
22."Stop putting in the effort to be polite to pushy people who bulldoze and take advantage of you. If they aren't considering your feelings, you're under no obligation to be caretaker of theirs."
23."Sun protection! Not only will it help you look more youthful, but it will also aid in skin cancer prevention. A wide-brimmed summer hat, sunglasses, and a full-sleeve rashguard are my go-tos when I'm at the beach. I might look a little nerdy, but it beats getting sunburnt and having a dozen new moles pop up on my back."
24."Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself to your employer. I had a death in the family and my employer wanted me to come to work after the funeral was over. I said, 'No. I am going to spend that time with my family.'"
25."Keep making friends. My former boss (retired now, in her 60s) has a group of girl friends. They vacation together, go golfing, shopping, dining, etc."
"I commended her on this, and she explained that her husband is a lot older than her, and she was aware that he would likely pass away before her. She didn't want to be alone. Most of her friends are married, but they have prioritized their friendships for decades."
26."Read up on and familiarize yourself with employment law. This is something I was NEVER taught in school, and just started doing in the past 10 years."
"Know the names of policies designed to protect you and the varied aspects of your identity. Don't be afraid to use 'serious' language in order to have your boundaries respected. In my career, most major violations and acts of discrimination start as slip-ups from colleagues who — having never researched themselves — make decisions based on their own limited worldview. HR banks on all of us being uninformed to avoid conducting official investigations and bad culture. Now I have the knowledge/language to nip problems in the bud before they develop into something bigger!"
27."Get rid of things you don't need. I’m 48, and my biggest thing right now is getting rid of stuff. We have so much crap, and I don’t want my kids to get stuck cleaning it all out at some point, hopefully in the very far future. It’s a normal amount of stuff, but my dad had barely any 'stuff,' and it still took weeks to go through."
28."Drink less alcohol and coffee, and drink more water."
29."Be strong, but not stupid. Strong is finishing your shift when you're in pain because you are 100% sure you can take it easy tomorrow and recover just fine. Stupid is when you can't walk right from the moment you wake up and go to work anyway."
30."If you choose to do facial procedures or get plastic surgery, do it for you, not to impress others. Make yourself feel good."
31."Keep an eye on the moles you do have, and go to a dermatologist ASAP if they grow or change shape. Melanoma is nothing to mess around with. It's better to be safe than sorry."
32."Embrace and enjoy the body you have right here, right now. You know who thinks you look great? You, 10 years from now. Focus on all the things it can do, and all the parts that work well and don’t hurt. This body you’re maybe way too critical of now will likely be a body you’ll think of fondly in the future, so you may as well treat it fondly now."
33."Make intergenerational friendships. I see so many young people dread growing older and act like their life is over at a certain age. Perspective helps you realize that life never really stops."
—zkye
34."Don't forget to get your living will and Power of Attorney. You're never too young to get that done. They can be changed/updated, but it does no good if you up and die and there was nothing."
35."Learn about landlord-tenant law in your state. You don't have to become an expert, but learn at least the basics. It can save you hundreds, or even thousands of dollars."
36."Learn how to say no and not feel like a bitch because of it. This goes for everything, from pushy door salesmen, to family, to your partners. When you get that little uncomfortable prickle in your tummy, something is telling you to say NO, so do it. A 'no, thank you' should be good enough. If it's not, double down, do not bend, and DO NOT feel guilty."
"You're polite the first two, three times and they won't stop? GIVE 'EM HELL."
37."If you have the means, go see a therapist if you are even entertaining the idea of one. It WILL help you."
38."Look around your house, especially if you are a home owner, and make a future to-do list. I have a 10-year plan to make my home handicap friendly before I retire."
"I want even, wheelchair-friendly floors and showers without a lip to trip over. My water heater is in the spider dungeon, and I plan to move it upstairs. The siding needs to be repaired and the roof needs to be replaced before I am on a fixed income. Note these things in your home."
39."Compliment other women absolutely anytime you get the chance. I have made this a habit, and it has helped me lift up and edify other women who probably needed that compliment as much as I know I sometimes do! It’s free, it’s fun, and it can make someone’s day, week, or even month!"
40."Don’t be afraid to be alone. It’s better to be alone than in bad company, so said George Washington. I’ve been alone my whole life — well, most of it anyway. And to be honest, I prefer the company of myself rather than with some guy who acts like he’s doing me a favor. Or even some so-called friend who acts like they are doing me a favor or insists that we always do what they want to do. When you're alone, you get the whole bed to yourself, the whole bathroom and kitchen to yourself, you can come and go as you please."
"You get to spend your money on yourself, you can go where you want when you want, and can leave when you want. Being alone is not a disease! In my personal experience, it’s a flipping blessing!"
41."Financial stability is so important. Make sure you're putting something away now for the future."
42."Nuture your old friendships. The older you get, the more precious it becomes to have friends who knew you in different stages of your life."
"I've been through a lot of friends. Without intending to, I discarded my good friends to please others that are no longer in my life. Care for those who were always there for you."
43."If you have a really long, light period, go to the doctor if you can. It could be because your body is stopping making progesterone, but you're still making estrogen. (Who knew that could happen? I sure didn't!) You won't know it, but in reality, your uterus is filling up with blood until the amount can't be sustained and starts to slowly leak out. Then eventually, it'll all come out at one time, scaring the crap out of you."
"You'll look like Tim Roth in Reservoir Dogs. You want to avoid that through medication or getting a D&C if necessary. It can also be a sign of uterine cancer, which you also need to catch as soon as possible."
44.And finally, an addition from Selling Sunset's very own Chrishell Stause:
Older women of the BuzzFeed Community, do you have any life hacks like these that we missed? If so, tell us about them in the comments below.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
