Being kind to strangers is good for you. Why it's healthy to help others.
It feels great when — to quote Adam Brody’s “hot rabbi” character in Nobody Wants This — someone does a “miztvah,” or good deed. Like a stranger pulling over to help when your car breaks down on the freeway, neighbors joining in on the search for your lost dog or the waiter who discretely lets you know that you’ve got a trail of toilet paper stuck to your shoe.
As we learned in kindergarten, kindness is key, and it hits us right in the heartstrings. It’s why we get weepy over a feel-good story we come across online (high schoolers buying their school custodian a car or a Good Samaritan giving up his first-class seat for a mom in need) and why a new wave of “kindness influencers” rack up millions of views on social media.
In short: We’re suckers for good news and good deeds. But it’s not just witnessing or (better yet) being the recipient of someone else’s generosity that makes us feel all warm and fuzzy; research shows that being the one to perform these acts of kindness provides a major mood boost — plus other mental and even physical health benefits. Here’s what experts want you to know.
Why kindness is good for your health
Have you ever paid for the meal of the person behind you in the drive-through line, or helped someone carry heavy groceries to their car? If it put a spring in your step, there’s a physiological reason why, Dr. Brook Choulet, an Arizona-based psychiatrist, tells Yahoo Life. “Being kind to anyone — strangers or not — can activate our brain’s reward pathway,” she explains. “This system releases neurotransmitters like dopamine, which generates feelings of enjoyment, as well as oxytocin, which can promote feelings of connection, trust and bonding.”
The benefits go beyond that heartwarming feeling. NYC-based psychotherapist Kristie Tse tells Yahoo Life that these interactions foster a more positive emotional state by lowering our levels of cortisol, which is our body’s main stress hormone. High levels of cortisol can raise blood pressure, which puts a strain on our hearts. By being kind — to others, but also to ourselves — we may also be protecting our heart health, researchers have found.
Another reason why kindness is so important? It helps us foster social connections with the people we’ve helped, psychologist Heidi Kar explains to Yahoo Life. She notes that human beings, at our core, “are social creatures who rely on the connections we make in our lives to ensure the well-being of our mental health.”
You don’t have to turn these momentary social connections into deep friendships either, adds Kar. Even small moments of connection are “directly related to lower levels of depression and better mental health,” she says.
Why it’s good for your community too
It’s not just the instant mood boost that makes kindness so fulfilling: It’s also the positive effect on your greater community, mental health expert Robert Cuyler, chief clinical officer at telemedicine company Freespira, tells Yahoo Life. He notes that when one person is kind, it “encourages other people to be as well, creating a more positive and connected environment.”
Acts like organizing a local park cleanup, setting up a Little Free Library or food pantry or helping a neighbor in need work for the greater good. Adds Cuyler, “A more connected community enhances mental health by reducing feelings of isolation and promoting collective happiness.”
Dakari Quimby, a Los Angeles-based clinical psychologist for the mental health website HelpGuide Handbook, tells Yahoo Life that this culture of kindness creates “a good foundation of trust and cooperation.”
“Communities with a strong emphasis on kindness usually have better, safer relationships among residents,” Quimby says. “Having a supportive environment is great for overall well-being and happiness.”
Here are some examples of how you can create a culture of kindness within your community:
Show appreciation for community members, like postal service or sanitation workers
Volunteer for community service projects
Donate time or money to local charities or fundraisers
Host or attend community events
Help neighbors in need with household tasks
Offer to carpool to work with neighbors
Can you give too much?
Being kind to others is a great way to feel better — but you also have to be kind to yourself. Feeling like your kindness is being taken advantage of, or doing too much for other people and neglecting your own needs, may “lead to burnout or resentment,” Rachel Marmor, a licensed mental health counselor, tells Yahoo Life.
“It's important to practice kindness with healthy boundaries,” Marmor says. “Just as over-giving can drain our resources, knowing when and how to say ‘no’ ensures we are also taking care of our own mental health,” she notes.
