Bride Tells Best Friend She Can't Bring Her Newborn to Wedding: 'Sticking to Our No-Kids Policy'

"I feel bad, but I also feel like if I make an exception for her, others might expect the same, and it could turn into a chaotic situation on my wedding day," the bride wrote in a Reddit post

A bride feels like the bad guy after second-guessing her child-free wedding rule.

In a recent post on Reddit's "Am I the A------? forum, a bride detailed that she feels conflicted after a good friend insisted she changes her no-kids wedding policy to accommodate her and her newborn.

"We want our big day to be a more formal, adult affair without the interruptions that can come with having kids around," the bride wrote of her and her fiancé's decision to have a kid-free wedding.

She noted that she explicitly mentioned that the wedding is a child-free event on her invitations, and no one seemed to have an issue, except for a close friend who recently had a baby.

"She called me and said she couldn’t attend if she couldn’t bring her baby, as she’s still breastfeeding and doesn’t have anyone she trusts to leave the baby with," the bride continued. "I told her I understood her situation but that we’re sticking to our no-kids policy."

The bride claimed her friend got upset, telling her she was being unreasonable after the friend "made so much effort to support me throughout my relationship and wedding planning."

Related: Woman's Pregnancy Is Revealed Against Her Wishes at Friend's Bridal Shower, Still Upsetting Bride-to-Be

After standing her ground with her no-kids policy, the bride learned that mutual friends are siding with the new mother, saying the bride and groom should make the exception. "I feel bad, but I also feel like if I make an exception for her, others might expect the same," the bride wrote, "and it could turn into a chaotic situation on my wedding day."

She asked the Reddit community if she was in the wrong for keeping her no-kids policy for her big day. Redditors weighed in, and the general feeling was that the bride was reasonable for wanting a child-free wedding.

"People holding a grudge about child-free weddings are actually being a-------," one user said. "Bride & groom plan wedding they want. Child-free, formal wedding is not unusual. Guests decide if they can/want to attend."

"Holding a grudge against the couple for having a formal, adult-centered event? That's totally unreasonable," they added.

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"NTA [not the a------], why do people want to bring newborns to large gatherings?" a second user wrote. "Listen to pediatricians and don't take them crowded places until they're fully vaccinated."

"A wedding is not a place to bring a baby, especially one that is so young. It sucks to feel left out, but she chose to be a mother, and with that comes sacrifice," a third person weighed in. "She asked if the rule could be bent for her, they said no, now it's time to drop it. Don't keep trying to make a stressful day more stressful, and absolutely do not recruit friends to harass the bride just so you can get your way."

They urged the bride, "Stick to your guns and stay strong. NTA for not wanting a baby at the wedding."

Someone added that a child-free wedding is welcomed by some parents who appreciate a night out. "A lot of parents in my social circle are happy to have a night out to dine, drink and dance without having to supervise their kids," they wrote.

Related: Bride 'Flabbergasted' After Aunt Tells Her 'Your Dress and This Wedding Are Very Plain — but Very You'

Despite overwhelming support for the bride, the Reddit community noted that she should expect the consequences of a child-free wedding to go beyond the big day.

"You don't want children there, and she doesn't want to leave her baby. I don't think anyone in this situation is an a------," one user wrote, seeing both sides of the situation. "Sure, you might be upset with one another, but that doesn't mean there's an objective right or wrong. You each have different values that you feel strongly about, and different views on what is reasonable."

The user added: "I hope you [and your friend] reconcile and that it doesn't impact your day negatively."

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Another Redditor said the bride should expect potential guests to feel slighted over the no-kids policy. "You don't have to make an exception for your friend because it is your wedding and your decision. However, you should absolutely expect her (and any other friend/family member with children) to not come, and also hold it against you," they wrote.

"You’re allowed to have a child-free wedding, but she’s allowed to feel sad and frustrated that she now has to choose between attending your wedding or doing what she thinks she needs to do as a parent," a third person chimed in. "It’s also not terribly surprising that a longtime friend might feel excluded or slighted, even if that’s not your intent."

The user continued, "Do whatever you want to do, but be aware that actions can have consequences."

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