Bride's Cousin Wants to Decline Her Bridesmaid Role: ‘Don’t Have the Time, Money or Energy’
The bride and her cousin, though "close" as children, now barely see or speak to one another
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Stressed woman (stock image)A woman is seeking advice on how to decline being her cousin's bridesmaid.
The bride's cousin explained in a post on Reddit's "Bridezillas" forum why she wants to reject the role. Although the two women were "close" as children, they now barely speak or spend time together. So, the Redditor thinks it would be "awkward" for her to suddenly have to dedicate so much time to the bride's nuptials.
The Washington, D.C.-based woman knows her Florida-based cousin is planning on asking her to be a bridesmaid because she's been repeatedly requesting that they spend a weekend together, which is out of character for her.
"She continues to ask me [to] come visit," she wrote. "I know for certain it’s because she’s planning to ask me to be in her wedding. We would absolutely not hang out otherwise."
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Bride and bridesmaids (stock image)Outside of birthday texts, the ladies "do not talk." At most, they see each other once a year for Christmas.
"We’re friendly, but she is definitely not someone I’d consider a close relative/friend… plus I have no relationship with the man she is marrying," the bride's cousin said.
The Redditor — who is getting married just a few months after her cousin — is fearful that she can't reject the position because the bridesmaid proposal will be extravagant.
"The bridesmaid 'proposal' itself is going to be a big production with a big gift and tons of photos all over social media," she said. "Honestly, it all feels so phony. I’ve already avoided the conversation."
On the other hand, she is sympathetic toward the bride because she might not have anyone else she can ask to be a bridesmaid.
"I feel awkward, but also conscious that she may not have any close friends to ask, so part of me feels bad," she said.
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Two women having a serious conversation (stock image)In addition to the poster not being close with the couple getting married, she doesn't want to be in the wedding party because she doesn't "have the time, money or energy."
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In the comments section, Reddit users said it would be okay for the poster to "politely decline" the role, with some suggesting that she use her own wedding as an excuse.
"Don’t feel bad. If she does ask, just say something like, 'I am so honored that you would ask me to be a bridesmaid! Unfortunately, with my own wedding soon after, I won't be able to fulfill this role. Thank you for asking me!' and leave it at that," one user suggested. "You aren’t close, so if she tries to guilt you or whatever after, just don’t respond."
Another person wrote: "Just say no. She must know you’re busy with your own wedding and not especially close anymore. Perhaps she feels obligated to ask based on how close you were in the past and will actually be relieved when you decline."
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