Chip Gaines Says He Doesn't Want His Kids to Get Used to the Rewards of 'Ease and Success' in Life: 'Unrealistic'

Chip Gaines wants his kids to grow up with reasonable expectations.

The HGTV star, 49, penned an essay for the latest issue of Magnolia Journal and opened up about how he feels raising his kids in a society that often equates success with finishing a project. Chip, who shares his kids Drake, 19, Ella, 18, Duke, 16, Emmie, 15, and Crew, 6, with wife Joanna Gaines, says he'd prefer his family to embrace the experience of the journey.

"For me, the reward isn't when I make it to my destination. It's how I rode out the waves," Chip explains. "How many times I was willing to take big swings even if it meant losing my footing. How often I dared to pivot not for the sake of danger but deep delight."

"While there's nothing inherently wrong with moments of comfort and reprieve, sometimes I worry our world has put these ideals on a pedestal, and happiness has started to look like ease and success like finish lines," he continues.

"I already know these types of images will be fed to my kids every day of their lives. I don't want them to have an unrealistic or discouraging grasp of the alternative: the joy of the journey."

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Related: Joanna Gaines Was 'So Sad' When Son Drake Went to College. Now She's Preparing Her Heart for Her Daughter to Ella Leave (Exclusive)

Chip goes on to say that everyone is going to get the ending they're destined for, and that he believes the person you end up being is formed by the decisions you make throughout your life.

"And despite what's commonly thought of as the good life — one where you're resting on the beach with a piña colada and a fat 401(k) — we are happiest when we're rocking and rolling and figuring out complicated things," he shares.

Last month, Joanna spoke with PEOPLE about how the couple's oldest son Drake had recently gone away to college and opened up about how they're feeling as their daughter Ella prepares to do the same.

"I was so sad," she told PEOPLE. "I couldn't believe how it hit me because Chip always says I'm not super emotional. I'm pretty steady. But, I think just the idea that I realize that one move out with that one kid, it triggers something now where it starts feeling everything goes fast."

"How do I prepare my own heart for it?" she continued, referring to Ella, who is graduating high school later this year. "It's like you're losing the one that you go on the weekends to get coffee with and shop at the antique stores. I'm like, 'Where's my friend going?'"

"It's just being okay with the shift and letting go of what was, and just being excited for what's to come," she concluded.

"Knowing that [the older kids] will be gone in the next few years, I’ve made a conscious decision to create micro-moments, to feel in the now with our family, just be really more intentional with our time together," Joanna told PEOPLE. "And hopefully, try and slow it all down a bit!"

The Magnolia Journal Spring 2025 Issue hits newsstands on Friday, Feb. 21 and can be purchased online now at Magazines.com.

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