Chloe Wilde reflects on difficult IVF journey, fear of miscarriage and keeping pregnancy secret: 'Harsh, sobering reality'

The Canadian TV host kept her pregnancy a secret from her family and the public until she was showing.

Chloe Wilde reflects on challenging fertility journey and IVF experience via podcast. Chloe Wilde shared her fertility journey and IVF experience on an episode of the podcast
Chloe Wilde shared her fertility journey and IVF experience on an episode of the podcast "Trying To Be Positive with Anne Matthews." (Photo via Instagram/@thechloewilde)

Chloe Wilde is opening up about her difficult fertility journey with in vitro fertilization (IVF). The Canadian television personality and her partner, Ben, welcomed their son, Grey, in October, culminating a private four-year journey of fertility challenges and a painful miscarriage.

In a candid interview on the "Trying To Be Positive with Anne Matthews" podcast earlier this week, Wilde discussed keeping her pregnancy a secret from the public — a decision rooted in a fear of experiencing a miscarriage. The "Etalk" host noted she's usually an "open book." Yet when it came to her fertility struggles, she and her husband chose to navigate the journey in solitude.

"I chose to share a lot about our fertility journey once we were pretty far along," Wilde explained. The couple didn't disclose their struggles to their family until Wilde was around 18 to 20 weeks pregnant. "It was the hardest thing I think I've ever gone through as an individual. There were many times we didn't know if we'd get to the finish line," she shared.

Reflecting on the initial naivety she and Ben had about starting a family, Wilde shared, "We were wearing our naive hats and we thought, 'This is gonna be a breeze. You're healthy, I'm healthy, let's go.'" As months passed without success, their optimism dwindled.

Facing a 'sobering reality' on fertility

In Canada, it is estimated that on average, one in six people experience infertility, according to the Canadian Fertility and Andrology Society. Yet, it's still not something people are prepared for.

"It was a very harsh, sobering reality to realize that ... sometimes you can do all the right things and yet, there's something going on behind the scenes that you don't know until you start trying," Wilde recounted. She recalled learning she had a "unicorn" (unicornuate) uterus — a term used to describe uteruses that are unusually shaped. "Mine is half the size of what it should be," she said.

The decision to maintain privacy around their fertility journey was motivated by Wilde's fear of miscarriage — a fear deeply rooted in her previous loss.

"To this day, I've only had to suffer one miscarriage and I know that is a very small number in comparison to women who have to go through loss so many times. It's something I will carry with me for the rest of my life," she said.

It's something I will carry with me for the rest of my life. ... It's a loss that no one in this life can prepare you for.Chloe Wilde, on going through miscarriage

"It was so hard to get pregnant and to stay pregnant. I was way more terrified of having another miscarriage," Wilde explained, adding she and Ben wanted to "keep the knowledge that we were pregnant so close to our hearts for as long as possible, almost trying to protect it from any outside influence."

Furthermore, Wilde had previously also experienced a failed IVF cycle. "The loss of our first IVF transfer that we sadly did not see through, it was so heartbreaking. That loss was so debilitating. I still feel it in my bones today," she confessed.

Wilde revealed that at the time, she had anxiety around sharing her fertility struggles or pregnancy with her friends or family because she anticipated feeling "triggered" by anyone "checking in" on her — even if they had good intentions.

'Living in fear of losing another baby'

Wilde explained what many people don't realize is that if you're "checking in" on someone going through fertility treatments, they may not be "in a place where they're ready to receive that. ... It might actually be triggering for them."

"Am I just supposed to be happy and grateful all the time?" she questioned. "I only went public when I absolutely had to and that was when I was showing." Wilde admitted when she finally did go public with her pregnancy, she felt lighter. "I was allowing myself to feel the joyous element of being pregnant instead of the anxiety-induced fear of having another miscarriage," she recalled. "Up until that point, I was living in fear of losing another baby."

Wilde has recently been receiving praise from fans for her retroactive transparency around her fertility journey and experience with intrauterine insemination (IUI) and IVF.

Last week, the new mom shared an Instagram Reel proudly holding up her five-month-old son. The video was accompanied by a viral audio saying, "I literally have nothing to say except that I made this. This came from my hands. ... Oh my God, I'm so proud."

Alongside the video, the reporter penned a heartfelt message to "all the IVF mamas out there," opening up about her path to motherhood. In the caption, she penned: "I know there's still some shame around fertility treatments, which absolutely breaks my heart. Let's squash that and normalize IUI and IVF miracles."

Let us know what you think by commenting below and tweeting @YahooStyleCA! Follow us on Twitter and Instagram.