Christina Haack, getting married 'quickly' and the 'very big lessons' to learn

Christina Haack has learned some marriage lessons the hard way. The "Flip or Flop" star, 41, opened up on "Jeff Lewis Live" this week about her less-than-three-year-marriage to husband Josh Hall, whom she separated from seven months ago.

"We don't get along," she said, telling host Jeff Lewis the pair married, quickly after eight months. She was previously married to and has children with Ant Anstead and Tarek El Moussa.

"I learned a lot, and they're like very big lessons," Haack went on, "and I actually feel them this time. It will never happen again."

While it varies from person to person, experts say how long a couple has known each other can play a factor in a marriage's success, an idea associated with the limerence theory. The term limerence was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979 to describe the first stage of love.

Cynthia Catchings, a licensed clinical social worker, previously told USA TODAY it's similar to the "honeymoon phase" many are familiar with but a "little bit more chemical."

"Your brain is producing all these chemicals, the dopamine and so on. So you start feeling like you're very attached to a person," she says.

Heads up: Sexless marriages are a serious problem. We need to talk about it.

'Passion' and 'intensity' in limerence

During limerence, there's a sense of "passion" and "intensity," Dr. Megan Fleming, a clinical psychologist who specializes in sex therapy and marriage counseling, previously told USA TODAY. "It's also linked with feelings of infatuation, obsession and a need to be around that person."

Limerence typically lasts about six months to a year, though it can last up to three years, Fleming explains. During that time, it has the power to warp reality.

"When you fall in love – and this is true of limerence – the reality is, you don't know that person. It's really all a projection," she says. "You're more involved with the idea and the obsession of it...  A lot of limerence is fantasy."

That's why before saying "I do," it's important to get to know someone so you can be "more informed" about that person.

"You want to date somebody long enough that (you've seen) the bad and the ugly to some extent – you've seen them handle a frustration, a disappointment, a conflict," she says. "You're not going to really get to know what that person's truly like until you move past that cocktail (of chemicals)."

While limerence can be reality-warping, it's not all bad – there's a reason for it.

"Without limerence, we wouldn't be able to form relationships," explains Catchings. "You see someone, you really like them, there's a physical and an emotional attraction. That allows you to spend time with them, to really get to know them, to maybe do things that you wouldn't do with another person."

She's a Democrat. He's a Republican. Can love conquer all?

Before marriage, consider these factors too

While time and limerence can play a role in how successful a marriage may be, there's not a specific timeline for everyone to follow, Catchings clarifies.

"The limerence period is something that most of us experience... (but) many times there's no right or wrong," she says, adding the typical time before an engagement is three to five years of dating. "I've met clients that dated for two months and after that, they have been married for 15-20 years, and I have met others that dated for five to 10 years and then they get divorced after a year." Haack's marriages to Anstead and El Moussa lasted for about two years and seven years, respectively.

Instead of an exact timeline, Catchings advises spending "real time together" before committing in order to form a foundation of understanding, especially in difficult subject areas such as intimacy, finances and children. Experts says these are the main issues they see married clients seeking therapy for.

"During the heat of limerence, couples are having great sex. But almost all couples have some level of mismatched sexual desire," Fleming says. "So what happens is, it's almost like that chemical drug ends and one partner feels like they've been duped... This disillusionment is what happens post-popping the bubble of limerence."

Whether it's issues of intimacy or something else the couple is facing, Catchings says almost everything branches out of a lack of communication.

Take the time to establish some "core ingredients," Fleming says, including commitment, communication and the ability to have hard conversations, which help support a successful relationship even when issues arise.

Are you single or do you know someone who is looking for 'the one'? Our reporter Erin Jensen is searching for a Valentine's Day date. Click here to find out more about the contest and click here to apply to win a dream date with Erin. 

Contributing: Sara M. Moniusko

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Christina Haack talks Josh Hall split: What we can learn