I made the biggest decision of my life after lockdown fast-tracked our relationship

Bethany Robinson, 27, works for the ambulance service. She lives in North Yorkshire with fiancé Jake Darnley-Robinson, 34, her children from a past relationship, Lyla, eight, and George, six, plus their daughter Ada, three. Here, as the fifth anniversary of lockdown approaches, Bethany reflects on the risk they took by moving in together during lockdown – just three months after they'd started dating...

On the day that lockdown was announced in March 2020, I was at home alone with the children when I Facetimed my parents and sisters. My boyfriend of less than three months was at his mother’s house, packing his bags to come and move in with me. It was the biggest – and quickest – decision I’d ever made in my life and I needed to ask my family something important: "Do you think I’m crazy?"

They smiled and reassured me. "He loves you," they said. "And you love him. And look at the children – they’re so happy about it!"

They were right. I loved Jake and my children Lyla and George adored him too. But after a break-up from a very turbulent four-year relationship less than two years earlier, there was a small part of me that wondered if I was doing the right thing.

In the 18 months leading up to becoming Jake’s girlfriend in December 2019, I’d been in quite a lonely place. I’d found the courage to leave my former partner but that meant I’d had to give up my job in forensics to look after my children. Although I adored being a mum, being on your own with two small children is tough. There were many times when I felt sad and vulnerable.

First meeting

I’d known Jake as a friend since 2016. We’d met shortly after I’d given birth to Lyla while I was on a night out with my sisters. Although my eyes kept meeting his, we never spoke one-to-one. But afterwards, we connected via Facebook and would sometimes chat over Messenger. He was funny and friendly and although I got on with him well, I couldn’t tell him anything about the trouble I was having in my relationship. I couldn’t tell anyone.

When I split up with my partner in 2018, it was an incredibly difficult time. I had postnatal depression and was very low. I couldn’t stop crying. I’d sort of lost touch with Jake and simply wanted to get on with my life and make a new future for me and my children, just the three of us.

Falling in love

But in the summer of 2019, I spotted something Jake had posted on Facebook and I sent a message simply saying: 'Hi, how are things?' We got chatting again and it was like no time had passed at all. It was lovely to be able to renew our friendship, but that’s all it was, friends.

But I remember once, he came over for a few hours and I confided in him about what had happened to me in my previous relationship and his reaction to that – shock, anger and concern – made me fall in love with him.

I knew he was going to be the next person I would hold hands with, the next person who I was intimate with – but I wanted him to know everything about me. However, it wasn’t until December 2019 that we became 'a couple' but I’d never felt more loved and more safe.

Lockdown strikes

Of course, no one was expecting what happened next. Barely three months later, Covid began to spread and in March 2020, lockdown began. I’ll never forget how Jake approached the subject of moving in. Both of the children were asleep and he said, "What do you want to do about lockdown?"

I could tell he didn’t want to pressure me. We had a long discussion. He said he couldn’t bear the thought of me being on my own and having to Facetime me. He had grown so fond of the children too and said that he didn’t want to miss any of their milestones. We agreed he could move in, which is when he went back home to his mum’s to pack and I phoned my family.

Today, five years on, I can honestly say it’s the best decision I made in my life. Yes, it wasn’t all plain-sailing. George and I got really ill with Covid quite quickly and I remember thinking, 'I don’t want Jake to see me throwing up' but he was a total hero, looking after Lyla while we recovered.

Getting to know each other

We also had a few words about the fact he’s so absolutely useless with money so I’m in charge of the family finances. And of course, suddenly becoming a full-time father to two young kids (their biological dad has no contact) was exhausting and sometimes he needed to escape for his half hour walk on his own. But then, didn’t we all? For most of the time, it was really wonderful to be together and we were so glad we’d moved in.

I actually became pregnant by accident – even though I’m on the coil – in October 2020 but had a miscarriage. However, it prompted us to start talking about having a child together. We bought a four-bedroom house in March 2021 and I got a new job in the ambulance service, which I absolutely love.

In the following June we started trying for another baby and I got pregnant with Ada that same month. I told Jake by giving him a little baby vest that said: 'Hi Daddy, Mummy’s told me that you’re going to be an amazing father.' He was so excited and so emotional.

Becoming a family

Ada was born in February 2022 and Jake is a brilliant father to all three of the children. He’s hands on and he’d do anything for any of us. A month later, we went out for dinner in York and Jake had booked an appointment at a jeweller so we could buy an engagement ring – a beautiful pear-shaped diamond. But both he – and I – wanted him to propose properly and in that April, he surprised me on a trip to the seaside when he got down on one knee. I was so shocked I actually said, "Are you joking?!" But of course I said yes.

We’re getting married in July, only yards from the place where he proposed. I look back to those months before lockdown and I can’t believe how much my life has changed. Lockdown was still tough. I lost my grandad and a family friend to Covid and we missed special moments. My parents had to come to the window on Lyla’s birthday and watch her open her presents

But when I think of what I gained personally – a future husband and a beautiful daughter as well as a job that I love – I couldn't be more grateful.

Read more on relationships:

• I fell in love on holiday and moved from Scotland to Turkey to be with him (Yahoo Life UK, 11-min read)

• Our TikTok followers realised we were in love before we did (Yahoo Life UK, 8-min read)

• Is there a secret to a long-lasting marriage? (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)