What Is Edging—and Does It Really Lead to Better Orgasms?
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You may have heard of a technique called edging that can supposedly lead to stronger orgasms and more luscious, drawn-out sexual experiences. If you haven't, well, I bet we have your attention now.
But what is edging, exactly? “Edging is a practice where individuals build up arousal until they are close to orgasm, then pause for a short break,” says Dr. Nazanin Moali, a sex therapist and the host of the Sexology podcast. “The goal is to get as close as possible to orgasm without reaching it.”
The term edging stems from the idea that you will pause stimulation right when you're on the edge of orgasm, says Anna Richards, a pleasure positivity educator and the founder of the ethical porn site FrolicMe.com. “By doing this repeatedly, the pleasure sensations build,” she explains. “It makes the final glorious climax a stronger and more satisfying experience.”
People may practice edging to intensify their pleasure, lengthen their sexual experiences, and introduce an element of teasing to solo or partnered play. So, let's break down the benefits of edging and how it could improve your sex life, tips for how to try it yourself or with a partner, and a few sex toys that may even enhance the experience. Have fun!
What Is Edging?
“Edging generally refers to the practice of bringing yourself or a partner to the brink of orgasm multiple times without allowing the climax to occur,” says Dr. Jess O’Reilly, a We-Vibe sex and relationship expert. In other words, you or your partner will savor that delicious buildup to climax multiple times before going over the edge.
“Edging can be a solo pursuit through delaying orgasm during solo masturbation moments,” says Richards. “You may have been experiencing this technique without realizing you were edging. It can feel natural and lovely to keep riding that wave of almost pleasure. Then, when the release finally comes, the orgasm is much more intense than a regular climax.”
What Are the Benefits of Edging?
Drawing Out Sex
Is edging good for you? It can be if you’re looking to have a more intense orgasm or prolong your sexual experiences. The motivation to try the latter is most common among men seeking longer-lasting erections, but women may also want to delay their climaxes too, as many experience hyper-sensitivity that makes stimulation uncomfortable to continue post-orgasm.
“It’s not about suppressing the orgasm but about stretching your capacity to hold pleasure in your body for longer, letting it build and transform into a force of vitality and creativity,” says Josefina Bashout, a tantric sex coach, spiritual psychologist, and the host of the Unabashed podcast.
Improving Orgasms
Like with most things, practice makes perfect when it comes to foreplay. “The more cycles [of edging] you go through, the more blood flows into your pelvic area,” says psychotherapist and sex therapist Dr. Lee Phillips. “This helps build excitement and can lead to more powerful orgasms.” Some people also report that the pleasure and orgasm they eventually experience during a sexual encounter or sexual intercourse is more spread throughout their body, says O’Reilly.
Adding a Tantric Flavor to Sex
Edging provides the opportunity to experience levels of pleasure you haven’t previously experienced—not just within the bedroom but outside it too, according to Bashout. “Testing the edge is about stepping into the unknown spaces of your body,” she explains. “It’s where your physical sensations meet your emotional boundaries, and your desire for release meets your capacity for restraint. By hovering in this space, you’re not just delaying gratification; you’re expanding your ability to feel more—more pleasure, more connection, and more freedom.”
Releasing Pressure
We often think of sex as a rush toward climax, so it can be liberating to take away the goal of orgasm, at least for some time. “Edging turns lovemaking into a playful, exploratory practice,” says Bashout. “It becomes a discipline and art instead of a race to the finish line, and you can find more enjoyment and de-stress.” Edging allows plenty of time for your arousal to build up so that orgasm flows easily and naturally.
Enhancing Intimacy
Edging not only helps you get to know your own body better but also forces you to become more attuned to your partner, which enhances the emotional connection. “Edging allows us to explore our sexual response and practice control over arousal and orgasms,” says O’Reilly. “Partners may use edging to build anticipation, heighten intimacy, and explore dynamics of dominance and submission in a consensual and playful way. Edging can create more intense desire and passion.”
How to Try Edging Alone
Map Your Arousal Scale
The first step to edging is to figure out where your edge is. Bashout suggests doing this by pausing when you’re pleasuring yourself and rating your arousal on a scale from 1-10. When you get to an 8, you are at your edge, she says. This is the point where you stop the sexual stimulation.
Pause and Cool Down
When you reach an 8 on the arousal scale, pause, breathe deeply, and visualize that your breath is spreading the sensation throughout your body. “A tantric tip is to put your hand on your heart, place your tongue on the roof of your mouth when you breathe in deeply from your nose, and relax and release the tongue as you breathe out with an open mouth,” says Bashout. “This helps you cool down without losing the buildup of arousal.”
Repeat and Rebuild
During each edging session, practice pausing and resuming multiple times. “This trains your body to sustain arousal for longer and gives you more control over your pleasure,” Bashout says.
Adds O’Reilly, “Pay attention to how arousal builds throughout your entire body—and not just in the genital area and your typical erogenous zones. This can enhance the sensual experience and make edging more enticing.”
How to Try Edging With a Partner
Have a Conversation
If you or your partner are new to edging, you'll first want to have a conversation in which you answer the question, “What’s edging?” You might even show them this article! You can then discuss the specifics of what you two are seeking from an edging experience.
“You'll want to determine how many cycles of edging you can handle and what activity you will engage in during the cool-down phase,” says Phillips. “For example, you may kiss or engage in a sensual massage before you start back up again. Starting back up again can include penetration or masturbation.”
Learn to Recognize the Signs Your Partner Is Close to the Point of Orgasm
“You will need to be very good at reading your partner’s orgasm clues,” says Richards. In fact, this is good advice for any sexual activity—edging or not. “Being mindful of your partner’s responses is key and a wonderful way to build intimacy.” So, pay attention to what’s happening in your partner’s body when they approach orgasm.
Initially, you can ask them to let you know when they’re close so you can begin to recognize these signs. “Keep a close eye and use those signals of twitching, moaning or other movements to push that tiniest bit further each time, watching as they ride and plateau again by your hand,” Richards suggests.
Adjust Your Touch Accordingly
When you notice your partner seems close to orgasm, Bashout recommends slowing and softening your touch. “Switch from stimulating areas like the genitals to softer, non-erogenous zones like the chest, shoulders, and thighs,” she says. “Play with different strokes in two locations to diffuse the intensity. Gentle caressing and scratches are also a great way to help them cool down.”
She also recommends saying soothing things to calm them down like “mmmmm yessss,” “that feels nice, right?,” “breathe with me,” or “slow it down with me—we have all the time in the world.”
Climb Back Up
Once your partner returns to a 6 or 7 on the arousal scale—and you can check in to see where they are—you can begin genital stimulation again. “Repeat the process of climbing and cooling,” Bashout says. “Enjoy the dance and find the turn-on for you.”
Repeat the last step and this one as many times as you and your partner would like until they’re ready for release. And, if you like, have them do the same to you.
Experiment
Once you and your partner have familiarized yourselves with edging, you can try out different forms of stimulation to enhance the experience and your sexual pleasure. “Use hands, lips, tongue, toys, lube, massage oil, scarves, textured items, and water across the body for variation,” O’Reilly says. “You may also incorporate fantasy, visualizations, dirty talk, and erotica to heighten, or quell, arousal.”
“In a kinky context, you might experiment with edging as part of orgasm control or denial,” the expert continues. “For example, you might take your partner to the brink of orgasm and then exercise your power or control to deny them orgasm—with consent.”
Sex Toys That Are Good for Edging
Handcuffs
If introducing some light BDSM appeals to you, you might consider incorporating restraints like handcuffs to enhance edging. “Restraints can heighten the pleasure, leaving the edgee at the mercy of the edger,” says Richards. I especially recommend handcuffs that are lined with faux fur, which makes them comfortable to wear, as well as ones with a quick release chain that make them easy to take off.
Lovehoney Faux Fur Lined Wrist Cuffs
$23.00, Lovehoney
Lelo Maze Wide Cuffs
$49.00, Lelo
Blindfolds
A blindfold can help the edgee completely surrender and experience the sensations even more intensely. Try one that has flirty words written on it—“Ohhh” and “Shhhh”—to add an even more playful element. Satin material also adds sensuality as you or your partner lie back and enjoy the ride to the top, back down, and up again.
Bijoux Indiscrets Shhh Blindfold
$20.00, Good Vibes
Ukissim Satin Blindfold
$8.00, Amazon
Vibrators
Bashout recommends a powerful rabbit vibrator like the Thrust by Bellesa for solo edging sessions. “You can use it without penetration, focusing on clitoral stimulation and edging, with the 10,000 nerve endings in your clitoris,” she says. “From there, you can always take your edging practice deeper when you get really aroused if you want to also move it into the internal orgasmic practice of edging.”
Bellesa Thrust Vibrator
$219.00, Bellesa Boutique
PlusOne Dual Rabbit Vibrator
$40.00, Amazon
Clitoral Suction Stimulators
A clitoral suction stimulator like The Womanizer uses air waves that create a sucking motion around the clitoris. Due to the intensity of the suction, it's easy to reach high levels of arousal and orgasm using this toy, which will make edging even more intense.
“When you are about to orgasm, take the suction off,” Phillips suggests. “Then start again and repeat this for however long you can go.”
Lovehoney Womanizer Next Clitoral Suction Stimulator
$219.00, Lovehoney
Lovehoney Clitoral Suction Rose Toy
$50.00, Lovehoney
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