Emily Cave Boit shuts down body shamer who told her to 'eat a cheeseburger': 'The physical symptoms of grief aren’t talked about'
The author and widow of former NHL player Colby Cave lost 20 lbs following his sudden death — and worked hard to gain it back.
Emily Cave Boit is exposing some of the body shaming she regularly faces online. On Monday, the 31-year-old author took to Instagram stories to shut down criticism regarding her weight after a woman known only as “Carolina” told her to “eat a cheeseburger.” Cave Boit, whose first husband, NHL player Colby Cave died suddenly in 2020, spoke candidly on the effects of grief on her body.
The Barrie, Ont.-native re-shared a video from November 2020 that addressed criticism that she was “so skinny” and urged others not to comment on other people’s bodies.
“I made this video seven months after Colb died,” Cave Boit wrote. “I had lost 20 pounds. Any media thing that I did, I would get comments about how sick I looked. My body was in shock. I had weigh-ins. We tried everything. It was grief physically hitting me. Four and a half years [later], I am so proud of gaining all my weight back and then some…”
Cave Boit said she regularly takes long walks with her dog, Chester, and practices pilates. Even though she eats, she said “This is just my build.”
“But thank you for your advice, Carolina,” Cave Boit wrote. “I haven’t thought of a burger since April 2020. You’re a genius with life-changing advice. Here’s my advice to you, I highly don’t recommend ever commenting on someone else’s weight. Have a blessed day.”
In a separate story, Cave Boit assured her followers that she wasn’t upset over the comment. She said she gets “hate everyday” from people regarding her deceased husband Colby, for sharing her grief journey publicly and for her relationship with her husband Colin, who she married in June 2024.
“I feel like the physical symptoms of grief aren’t talked about,” she said. In addition to weight loss, she added that she experienced Broken Heart Syndrome, a stress induced condition that causes a major adrenaline surge that can impact blood-flow to the rest of the heart. The condition mirrors symptoms of a heart attack, including shortness of breath, sweating and dizziness, and can rapidly deteriorate heart muscle.
“I should definitely tell Colin to pick me up a burger on his way home…,” she joked.
Cave Boit issued another piece of advice for anyone thinking of bullying people online. “If you’re going to be a troll, you may not want to be Google-able… I’ve never trolled anyone, but I wouldn’t want to then Google your name and see your occupation — especially if it says that you’re a nurse.”
In her original video from November 2020, Cave Boit addressed criticism of her weight less than a year after the death of her 25-year-old husband due to a brain bleed.
"You should never comment on someone’s weight, especially after great trauma," she wrote. "Somethings are completely out of your control, that was my case, and having people tell me I needed to eat, was too skinny, looked gross, and much more, was absolutely ridiculous. One of the things Colb loved about me was how much I could eat... so this video is for him."
Cave Boit said Colby would have loved the video, adding: "This video is me reclaiming words that were used to try and cut me down when I was already at rock bottom. This video is for anyone who has been judged for their weight. This video is for other people grieving, dealing with the 'physical' impacts that come from trauma. You are brave. You are beautiful. You are loved. You are doing the best you can. I’m rooting for you. So many people are rooting for you."
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