The emotional cost of being first: Study shows anxiety rises for firstborns and only kids
If you’re a firstborn or only child—or parenting one—chances are you’re familiar with the common stereotypes.
Firstborns are often seen as responsible and high-achieving leaders, while only children are known for their independence and confidence. But alongside those positives can come a tendency toward perfectionism and the weight of high expectations. According to new research, these characteristics may make firstborns and only children more susceptible to anxiety and depression, shining a light on the unique needs of kids born first in the family lineup.
The findings? New research published by Epic Research reveals that, by the age of eight, firstborns with siblings are 48% more likely to experience anxiety and 35% more likely to be diagnosed with depression compared to their later-born counterparts. Only children also experience a similar impact, with a 42% higher likelihood of anxiety and a 38% increase in depression risk compared to those with siblings.
But before you start worrying about what these numbers mean for your child’s future, let’s take a closer look at what’s behind the data—and how you can use this information to support their well-being.
Eldest Daughter Syndrome: Balancing strength and pressure
“Eldest Daughter Syndrome” might sound like a buzzword, but it’s a very real concept for many. This non-clinical term describes the tendency for eldest daughters to embody both leadership and a strong sense of responsibility within their families. From a young age, they often find themselves in caregiving roles, managing expectations and even stepping into a “third parent” role. While these skills can make them dependable leaders and role models (think Oprah Winfrey and Beyoncé), they can also heighten stress and anxiety.
The pressure to be responsible, achieve highly, and serve as role models can amplify stress for many oldest daughters. As the study highlights, this sense of responsibility may contribute to mental health challenges. This research offers insight into how traditional family dynamics that rely on older siblings—often daughters—can impact well-being.
Firstborns and only children: Understanding mental health risks
This October 15 study from Epic Research analyzed data from 182,477 well-child visits for eight-year-olds, focusing on how birth order may play a role in mental health. Researchers found that firstborns with siblings and only children face notably higher chances of anxiety and depression. This study is a reminder that these roles—whether leading as the eldest or navigating life as an only child—can bring unique mental health challenges.
What makes these birth positions more susceptible? Firstborns often experience parenting through their parents’ initial learning curve and anxieties, while only children may face similar pressures with parental expectations concentrated solely on them.
The researchers controlled for factors like parental mental health, socioeconomic status, and demographic variables, strengthening the case that birth order alone may contribute to these mental health risks. While the exact causes are complex, the study suggests that a mix of family dynamics, parenting approaches, and physiological factors unique to first pregnancies may be involved.
Nature, nurture, and the family dynamic
The study also touches on deeper factors, including family dynamics, first-time parenting experiences, and environmental stresses that may impact mental health risks for firstborns and only children. For instance, early childhood is a time when parents are still learning the ropes, and any anxieties they have can naturally influence their children. Understanding this, the study highlights that parenting dynamics and even early experiences during pregnancy can shape a child’s mental health.
Supporting your firstborn or only child
The findings from this study emphasize the importance of balance in parenting. Here are a few practical ways to support firstborn and only children in ways that reduce stress:
Encourage relaxed expectations. Celebrate achievements without expecting perfection. Let children know it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them.
Allow individual time. Give firstborn and only children chances to engage in activities where they don’t feel “on call” as a caregiver or leader.
Build social networks. Create opportunities for them to bond with other kids through clubs, teams, or family gatherings to avoid isolation.
Promote open conversations about feelings. Let your child know it’s safe to talk about their worries or stress. Acknowledge their efforts and remind them that help is available.
Seek external support when needed. If symptoms of anxiety or depression arise, consider consulting a counselor or therapist experienced in child development.
Birth order as a risk factor, not a determinant
The bottom line: birth order may shape our kids’ experiences, but it doesn’t define their path. This study provides a framework for understanding risk factors, enabling parents to cultivate a balanced, supportive family environment. With this knowledge, we can embrace the positives of each birth position and create a nurturing foundation for all our children.
Sources:
How depression affects firstborns and only children. October 2024. Epic Research. Firstborn Children and Only Children More Likely to Have Anxiety and Depression Than Later-Born Children.
What is Eldest Daughter Syndrome? July 2024. Charlie Health. What is Eldest Daughter Syndrome?
