Faith | He was a wedding guest, then the serendipitous officiant
Back in November 2022, I wrote a Spiritual Life article in the Tri-City Herald about a surreal experience, that of officiating at the burial of one of my best friends.
As a chaplain and pastor now retired, I have led many such sacred rites, but only a few for someone so close to my life. That event grounded me and other attendees in the shared awareness of our common mortality (“earth to earth ... .”).
Looking around at the many graves in the cemetery, I was reminded that each name carved in stone represented a life lived “in faithfulness and trust, in joy and in sorrow, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.”
These phrases, recited not at funerals but at countless weddings, serve in this reflection as a vital (life-filled) segue to what comes next.
Recently, my wife and I returned yet again to that lovely coastal valley of deep forests and lush meadows. Our reason was to attend the wedding of my dear friend’s youngest daughter.
It was doubly surreal with the verdant beauty of an outdoor brookside ceremony on a warm summer’s day and the shared awareness that the father of the bride was present not in body but in spirit. Talk about a bittersweet, paradoxical occasion ... .
However, the paradox developed even more on the wedding’s eve.
As close friends of the bride’s family, we were kindly invited to the rehearsal dinner. While waiting for the meal to begin, I was summoned over to the wedding party which was awkwardly milling about near the flower-festooned canopy. Apparently, the officiant’s flight from the Midwest had been canceled.
The bride and her mother asked, was there any chance I could “do the wedding,” especially on such short notice? Yes—how could I not?! (Insert appropriate emojis here.)
This is where experience, technology, and love all came together to help us carpe diem (“seize the day”).
First, remember that bit about ministerial experience mentioned above? Yes, I’ve done a lot of weddings, as well.
Second, stored on my phone I had a wedding document from a different ceremony I had done recently. And third, my love for the bride and her family was the easiest component of all.
Typing on my phone that evening, I modified the previous ceremony, drawing from my knowledge of—and affection for—the bride and her family, plus an abridged post-dinner conversation with the couple.
The next morning at the local library I was able to wirelessly print out the new document. I borrowed a 3-ring binder and voilà—a custom ceremony for this couple on their matrimonial occasion that afternoon!
What an unexpected privilege and delight to reflect with the couple and their company on the institution of marriage, on the relational pillars of cooperation, communication, and commitment, and on their vows of love and faithfulness. How meaningful to invite their beloved community to help me pronounce them married.
Serendipity? Lucky coincidence? A God thing? Who knows.
What I do know for sure and for which I am profoundly grateful: the new couple was surrounded by “so great a cloud of witnesses,” (Hebrews 12:1) including her cherished father in glory.
Timothy J. Ledbetter, DMin, BCC is a retired American Baptist-endorsed professional chaplain and member of Shalom United Church of Christ in Richland. Questions and comments should be directed to editor Lucy Luginbill in care of the Tri-City Herald newsroom, 4253 W. 24th Avenue, Kennewick, WA 99338. Or email lluginbill@tricityherald.com.
