How Friendship Apps Helped Me Find My Inner Circle

Peter Griffith

In this op-ed, Nadia Mumuni explores how friendship apps helped her form meaningful connections — and how they can help you, too.

Your 20s are often described as a time of self-discovery, something that implies a focus mainly on yourself. That might be true, but finding your close circle of friends is just as important — and may even be key to that self-discovery we all crave. At 27, I found myself seeking meaningful friendships, but struggling to figure out how to form them. When I became friends with my best friend nearly 15 years ago, we met at school — an environment where friendships happen naturally. But in my 20s, it didn’t feel as easy to initiate those connections.

Growing up, I watched TV shows like Girlfriends and imagined my adult years would mirror that dynamic. As we transition from girlhood to womanhood, the need for a solid group of friends — our “girls” — remains strong. For me, that need led me to a friend-making app. These apps have become a fresh, digital bridge for forming meaningful connections, helping users match with others who are also seeking deeper friendships. Whether you’re new to a city or simply looking to expand your social circle, these apps offer an intentional way to meet people.

My new friends — Janel, Phoebe, Monica, and Nifemi — are all products of app-formed connections. From their first messages to in-person meet-ups, their stories reflect the highs and lows of building friendships in today’s app-driven world.

Janel and Phoebe: From Bumble to BFFs

In the summer of 2023 Janel and Phoebe, both eager to meet new people and explore new experiences, decided to join Bumble BFF. However, Phoebe’s first impression of the app was less than smooth. “It was so overwhelming,” she says. “There are so many people on there, and most don’t seem to know what they want. I couldn’t tell if they wanted to be pen pals or just waste my time.” Janel also found the process challenging, noting, “When you’re in school, people are just around you, but now, you have to put in the effort and be intentional if you want to make friends.”

When Phoebe connected with Janel, it was an instant match. Phoebe describes it as “a spark,” and the two found themselves chatting every day with conversations that “never ran dry.” They bonded over shared interests like sushi and jazz music, even choosing a sushi restaurant for their first meet up. A year after that first meeting, “the energy is still the same,” Phoebe shares. Together, they’ve attended numerous events, made more friends, and have even gone on a girls trip.

But while Janel and Phoebe’s friendship blossomed, navigating other connections on the app wasn’t always easy. “Much like online dating, you get a vibe from someone’s profile, but sometimes, there’s just no connection in person,” Janel reflected. Phoebe agreed, adding, “Sometimes you want to meet up with someone, but then you just can’t be bothered, and it fizzles out.”

Despite these hurdles, both Janel and Phoebe feel that their friendship has been a positive force in their lives. Reflecting on their friendship Phoebe says “She’s so organic, we don’t force anything. I might not talk to Janel for weeks but when we talk it’s like OMG I missed you!” For Janel, the friendship has been even more profound. “Our conversations have been so genuine—they’ve felt open and vulnerable, a safe space,” she shares, noting how different this friendship feels compared to others she’s tried to form on the app.

There are no regrets for either of them when it comes to using apps to find friends. The pair have managed to maintain their bond by staying present and checking in with each other. Janel has realized that “friendships are strengthened by meeting up and FaceTiming more than texting.” Their journey shows that with a little effort and the right mindset, apps like Bumble BFF can lead to real, lasting friendships.

Monica and Nifemi: Turning Swipes into Sisterhood

Monica and Nifemi’s friendship grew out of the challenges of keeping old friendships alive while settling into a new area. Wanting to make new connections, they both turned to the app Gofrendly. It only took a few days of chatting before they decided to meet in person. “I don’t really like to waste time. I’m very much a face-to-face person, and she [Nifemi] shared that goal,” Monica explains, reflecting on her decision to take their conversations off the app.

Nifemi on the other hand, had talked to a few people on Gofrendly but hadn’t met up with anyone else. “When I met up with Monica, we got along really well,” she recalls, describing how natural their connection felt right from the start.

It hasn’t always been so simple for Nifemi to find new friends. She says, “the biggest challenge is knowing where to go, and even when I do go to places it’s daunting to go up and speak to people in real life.”

Their friendship has deepened over this year, Monica speaks of when Nifemi supported her during a tough time “When I lost my job I called Nifemi and she said I could come over. She gave me a hug straight away offering me comfort when I got teary and made me the biggest hot chocolate, complete with whipped cream. She assured me I could stay as long as I needed, even offering help with job applications. She was just the best in that moment.” Moments like this have turned their friendship into a sisterhood.

The girls have put in real effort to keep their friendship going. Monica says, “you have to have check-ins, you have to maintain it like you would a romantic relationship.” Nifemi adds, “Communicating and trying to understand each other is key. My approach is to nurture the friendship by learning what the other person likes and needs.” Their effort shows that friendships thrive when nurtured with care and understanding.

Now, Janel, Phoebe, Monica, Nifemi, and I have all connected and become good friends. I first met Monica through the Gofrendly app, and during a night out, we crossed paths with Janel and Phoebe. Later, Monica introduced us to Nifemi during a girls trip to Munich. This journey of forming friendships in such an organic way has been incredible. We’ve had new experiences together and I’ve had the opportunity to relearn how to make friends again.

Here’s some advice for anyone in their 20s considering using a friend-making app to build connections:

“Know what kind of friends you want. Your standards are valid—have fun and just experience it all,” Phoebe advises. Janel suggests to “Be open. The people you’re speaking to also want to make a friend. Meet up with people to get a better idea of who they are.” Nifemi says, “Just do it! Joining an app was a really good decision—you don’t lose anything, you only gain.” Monica adds, “Get on the app! Take that leap—it’s worth it. There’s something positive waiting on the other side.”

Meaningful connections are only a step away if you’re thinking of taking the journey to start making friends in your adult years just remember it’s never too late. You’ll never know what you could be missing until you try.

Originally Appeared on Teen Vogue