Kaitlyn Bristowe opens up about 'rock bottom' painkiller addiction and depression in her late 20s: 'My family and therapy saved my life'

"I’ve never been more grateful for where I’m at in my life," the 39-year-old Canadian reality star said in a message to fans.

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE - NOVEMBER 08: EDITORIAL USE ONLY: Kaitlyn Bristowe attends the 2023 CMA Awards at Bridgestone Arena on November 08, 2023 in Nashville, Tennessee. (Photo by Taylor Hill/WireImage)
Kaitlyn Bristowe recalled hitting "rock bottom" in her 20s. (Photo by Taylor Hill/WireImage)

Kaitlyn Bristowe is reflecting on her mental health journey and her life-saving decision to seek therapy. On Tuesday, the 39-year-old took to Instagram to share how a Care Bear stuffy helped her through a difficult time. Bristowe posted a photo of the Care Bear taken on a recent vacation to Mexico with her mom, Leslie Hipkin, and her step-dad, Rob Hipkin — with the text “I’m so glad I’m here.”

In a lengthy caption, the “Off the Vine” podcast host and former star of “The Bachelorette” said she hit “rock bottom” in her late 20s.

“I had no money, no job, no education, no home, no credit, I had lost myself and got dumped by someone I thought I’d marry,” the Leduc, Alta. Native wrote. “I relied on him emotionally and financially.”

In addition to her breakup, Bristowe said she “had never processed” the death of one of her best friends.

“I had to move in with my mom and Rob when I was 27 and there I got addicted to Valium,” she said. “The doctor gave me a suicide assessment. I didn’t want to live. I wanted to numb myself and not wake up. I was full of shame. My step dad got me this Care Bear to hold and I slept with it every night.”

Bristowe said her family, including her dad and sister, rallied around her to help her get better. She would eventually begin therapy and says 12 years later, she still sleeps with the Care Bear whenever she visits her mom and step dad.

“My family and therapy saved my life,” she said. “Something as simple as a little Care Bear now reminds me of my fight to get my life back, how many baby steps it took, and how things will always get better.”

Bristowe, who now lives full time in Nashville and owns her own wine label, Spade & Sparrows, ended her post with a message of encouragement to her followers.

“I’ve never been more grateful for where I’m at in my life. This bear is almost like my little anchor,” she said. “Maybe if you’re going through a tough time, find ourself an anchor and over the years you can reflect on your resilience. It always gets better. I’m so glad I’m here.”

The post earned comments from friends and followers who praised Bristowe for being so open about her mental health journey.

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - MAY 18: Kaitlyn Bristowe attends the 2023 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Launch at Hard Rock Hotel New York on May 18, 2023 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)
Kaitlyn Bristowe reflected on her personal mental health journey on social media. (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

"Love you so so much,” wrote Canadian influencer Sarah Nicole Landry (also known as The Birds Papaya).

“I love you so much it hurts,” Bristowe’s sister, Haley Bristowe, wrote. “Proud of you, always.”

“Chills reading this,” a follower wrote. “I can relate so much. Last quarter of 2024 almost took em out. I am here solely due to my friends and family. Medication and therapy helped, too. Thank you for sharing.”

“So glad you made it through! The world is a better place with you in it,” another said.

“When I feel alone or in need of a friend, your podcast is like a phone call home I can count on,” someone wrote. “Grief is a wild journey. Trauma is a never ending ride that ebbs and flows. I’m thankful for you…”

Bristowe has been open with her struggles with anxiety, depression and body dysmorphia. In 2024, the reality star told fans that posing for an unedited swimsuit photoshoot triggered her body dysmorphia.

"I didn't want to eat for the rest of the day," she said during an interview with intuitive coach Courtney Thomas. "I caught myself in that moment. ... I've worked so hard to love my body and get to where it is. But I stopped myself, and was like, that's not a healthy way of thinking."

Bristowe said she was able to turn her mindset around with some self talk. "What a cool opportunity for me. I get to support a small Canadian business who talks about confidence and doesn't edit which is something I would've loved to see growing up instead of these edited photos that we saw in magazines. I get to show the way that I want somebody to show up on Instagram," she explained.

If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available.

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