Kelly Clarkson: 'It's when I'm fat that I'm happy'

Kelly Clarkson has always been vocal about her struggles with self image. And although the 35-year-old has successfully learned to shrug off negative comments about her weight throughout the years — fans still feel the need to comment.

In a recent interview with Redbook, Clarkson was asked about being a positive body image hero to so many women — and how fans might react if she lost weight.

“That’s already happened to me. They shame you for it,” Clarkson responded. “Same thing happened with Miranda Lambert — I had dinner with her and we were talking about that. She was like, ‘Should I gain? Should I lose?’ But no one actually cares about your health. They just care about aesthetics.”

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“It’s when I’m fat that I’m happy,” Clarkson said. “People think, ‘Oh, there’s something wrong with her. She’s putting on weight.’ I’m like, ‘Oh, no! I’m sorry, but that represents happiness in my emotional world.’”

Clarkson said that when she’s skinny, it’s usually when she’s “not doing well.” She previously admitted to battling bulimia for a short period in her early teens because she felt she’d get better parts in school musicals by being thin.

“Even on ‘American Idol’ I was really thin, but I was bigger than the other girls on the show, so people would say things to me,” the singer told PEOPLE magazine. “But luckily I am super confident, so I’ve never had a problem with shutting people down and saying, ‘Yeah, you know, that’s just what I’m rocking. It’s fine.’ ”

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In the November 2017 issue of Attitude magazine, the pop star said she even contemplated suicide during one of the darkest periods in her career.

“When I was really skinny, I wanted to kill myself,” she said. “I was miserable, like, inside and out, for four years of my life. But, no one cared, because aesthetically you make sense.”

Clarkson later clarified the comments on Twitter, insisting that she wasn’t miserable because she had to be thin — she was miserable and as a result she become thin.

“I’ve never contemplated suicide because of my weight,” she said. “I said people had no idea I was unhappy oddly enough because I appeared healthy.”

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“If you gauge your life on what other people think, you’re going to be in a constant state of panic trying to please everyone,” she told Redbook.

“People should just concentrate on their own lives and their own health and their own happiness, and whatever that looks like for you, be happy with it.”

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