Abrosexual People Are Sharing How Frustrating It Can Be Explaining Their Sexuality To People — Here's Why It Is Resonating With So Many
Recently, on TikTok, people have been sharing their frustrations when explaining that they are abrosexual to people. One person went viral for acting out a skit showing how people react when they identify as straight, lesbian, bi, pan, and asexual at different times.
Some people get so frustrated trying to describe it, they just say they're pansexual.
However, since it is apparent a lot of people aren't familiar with the term...
...We decided to create this post as an explainer so people can feel seen, heard, and validated.
BuzzFeed spoke to LGBTQ+ advocate Zoe Stoller. They are a licensed social worker who develops and facilitates educational presentations in both social work and social media, sharing educational materials about LGBTQ+ identities and experiences.
Zoe explained that abrosexual describes someone whose sexuality is fluid, meaning it shifts and changes over time. "Some abrosexual people might identify with different sexuality labels at different times — for example, some days they might use the label pansexual, whereas other days they might use the label lesbian. Other abrosexual people might just use the label abrosexual. This label can be thought of as the sexuality version of the gender identity label genderfluid (describing a gender that shifts and changes)," they said.
Abrosexuality is definitely something many people are not educated on, according to Zoe. They said this is apparent, not only on TikTok, but even if you try to use the term on your device. "When I try to type 'abrosexuality,' it autocorrects to 'bisexuality.' If the word isn’t read as 'real' by my computer’s dictionary, then there’s definitely a lack of widespread education about this label."
"There are many identities within the LGBTQ+ spectrum, and only so many of them are discussed in the mainstream (and even then, there’s a general lack of LGBTQ+ education as compared to other topics). This means that many identities outside of the LGBTQ+ acronym are unfortunately not known about. This is especially true for identities that include features not seen within cis-het norms, such as fluid identities that can shift and change (sexuality and gender is often presented and taught as something that is static and unmovable)," they added.
Unfortunately, Zoe said that the widespread misunderstanding of fluid identities can lead people who hold these identities to feel misunderstood and not believed. "Within the framework of cis-heteronormativity, concepts like sexuality and gender are often understood and taught as unchanging identities. People can get very confused when you explain that your identity is fluid, and is not one fixed thing," they explained.
That is why bringing education and awareness to less commonly discussed identities like abrosexuality is so important. "It can help people feel seen, affirmed, understood, loved, and so many other wonderful things. If larger society were more open to the concept of fluid sexuality, this might help abrosexual people and others with fluid identities feel more understood and accepted," Zoe added.
Zoe said seeing all the positive comments on their videos makes them so happy. "Every abrosexual person will have a different, nuanced experience with their identity — and every variation of abrosexuity is valid and worthy of celebration and awareness," they concluded.
You can follow Zoe on TikTok for more educational LGBTQ+ content.
