Lorde, 24, just got candid about feeling lonely during the pandemic in a newsletter sent to fans.
The singer also explained why she recently took a break from social media.
Since then, she said, her mental health has improved and she feels happier and more relaxed while performing onstage.
Solar Power singer Lorde, 24, just opened up about her mental health in a newsletter she sent to her fans. The "Green Light" artist was honest about the loneliness she's felt since the COVID-19 pandemic began more than a year ago. She also revealed the reasons behind her recent break from social media.
Lorde summed up 2021 as "a real f---king head spinner," according to People. She added that "the pandemic has continued to make things difficult, lonely, or dangerous for absolutely everyone in varying degrees, but outside of that, 2021 has been tough in completely unexpected ways."
"Being away from home at a time where the country's struggling to contain the virus, feeling isolated from friends and loved ones there," Lorde continued. "Looking out at the country I'm in and feeling estranged from so much of what I see, and knowing it feels as estranged from me."
The New Zealand native, who is currently living in New York, also said she is "questioning what I'm doing and why, all the time, on an unprecedented level." She added that a lack of performances lately has made her feel more alone, too: "Normally I'd be doing festivals and shows already, pinging around the world and touching your faces, so that probably contributes to the loneliness a little bit," she wrote.
The "Royals" singer also got candid about her "decision to step back from social media," saying her time spent on the apps was also "something I've really questioned through this time." She hasn't posted on Instagram since this past June.
"I was so sure skipping the negatives (compulsive time-wasting, IV drip of dread, satisfying but hollow validation loop) would outweigh missing out on the positives (feeling like part of a community, hearing your sweet words, hitting you back). But I've really, really missed you," Lorde wrote.
She also told James Corden, on The Late Late Show back in August, more about how hard it was for her to stop scrolling.
"I did it because I felt like my brain wasn't working very well anymore," she said. "It was horribly difficult, the hardest thing I've ever done. It's still horribly difficult every day. It would be like stopping eating sugar for me, like I still eat tons of sugar. And if I don't have sugar, I feel insane."
"And the first little while of not being on social media was totally like that. I was so crabby," she continued. "I felt so disconnected. But it's how my life is now." She explained that, while she no longer uses Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or YouTube, she's turned to the New York Times' cooking app for entertainment—specifically, the comments under each recipe.
"That's become a source of community for me," she said. "You get all these weird little stories. 'Someone's like, 'I make this for my husband when he gets home from work and he does this.' Every once in a while you get some kind of detail. You'll find something and you'll make it into that."
Lorde said she's handed "all my passwords" over to her assistant and went one step further to remove all search engines from her phone. "This was next level sort of crazy," she said. "I can't Google on my phone. I can't have Safari or anything like that. I kind of love it. You actually don't need to Google as many things as you think you need to—just do it at home on your computer!"
Her lack of screens has even translated to her concerts while on tour. "I just want to be as connected as possible and I'm trying to do it without relying on a ton of screens," she added. "I'm playing intimate venues, theaters, which is cozy. I really like doing small shows. You should see me in arenas, I'm not at ease."
In September, Lorde told Variety that she's been working on her confidence lately and feels more comfortable standing up for herself now. “Being bold is vital because people are only going to listen to you if you speak up,” she said. “It’s hard for me–I’m shy, I’m a shy girl. But, you always regret not being bold, and you very rarely regret toughening up and doing it.”
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