I’m a Psychologist Who Used to Hate Winter—Here’s How to Learn to Love It
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I don’t know about you, but I rarely hear people say winter is their favorite season. Sure, the pro-snow, sweater enthusiasts are out there living amongst us, but the more common take I hear, at least in the Northeast? That winter is dark, cold, and miserable.
But according to Kari Leibowitz, PhD, a health psychologist and author of How To Winter: Harness Your Mindset to Thrive on Cold, Dark, or Difficult Days, winter doesn’t have to be something to dread—rather, it’s a season worth embracing. That said, she didn’t always feel that way. Growing up, she was a self-professed Winter Hater. “It was something to be endured, not enjoyed,” she tells SELF.
After college, she put down roots in Norway—specifically, Tromsø, a city located above the Arctic Circle—to study how the Polar Night, a period where the sun sets in November and doesn’t rise again until the end of January, impacts people’s well-being. Expecting to see spikes in seasonal affective disorder, Dr. Leibowitz was shocked to learn that Nordic people weren’t all that bummed out by the long, dark, and extreme winters. In fact, they kind of loved it.
So, what’s the trick to not merely tolerating but straight-up relishing winter? According to Dr. Leibowitz, it’s, in large part, about having a positive mindset when the world gets colder, darker, wetter—and maybe a bit slower. Here are her recommendations for a legitimately great winter if you’re used to it being a total wash of a season:
Focus on a few things you love about winter.
Listen, we’re not saying winter doesn’t have its downsides—life is just different during the stretch between December and late March. It might be cold and dark out most of the day—or, perhaps, you have fewer social plans, work out less, and feel kind of more sluggish once January hits. But if you believe that winter’s going to suck, well…it’s probably going to. “Your attention shapes your experience in profound ways,” Dr. Leibowitz explains. In her research, she discovered that having a positive mindset about winter is linked to greater well-being and life satisfaction.
Instead of ruminating on why this time of year is the worst, “think about what is special and better about the winter,” Dr. Leibowitz suggests—like, say, how the air smells crisp and clean or that you get to go to bed earlier. I, for example, love walking my dog after work this time of year because the roads are empty and it’s so peaceful. I also like skiing! And how pretty the city gets when it snows! And sweatpants! The point is, zero in on what you appreciate about the season, and the positive feelings will come along with it.
Try your best not to talk trash about it, either.
On the subject of mindset: You’ll also want to watch how you talk about winter. It’s so common to complain about the season, but Dr. Leibowitz warns that doing so reinforces the idea that winter is horrendous. Instead, flip the script. For example, when you finally get home on a rainy day, swap “ugh, it’s so nasty out there” for “ahh, it’s so warm and cozy in here.” And instead of moaning to your friend that you can’t get as much fresh produce at your local farmer’s market, yap about foods you can enjoy this time of year—like soups or squashes.
It’s not that people never complained about the weather up in the Nordic countries, Dr. Leibowitz says. But she observed that they were big on what she calls “winter-positive small talk,” too—like chatting about how soft and stunning the natural light was and how comfy and restorative the next few months would be. The takeaway: Evidence suggests you’ll likely feel more optimistic about winter when you—and the people around you—chat about it in a more uplifting light.
Let yourself slow down and live seasonally.
One thing that stood out to Dr. Leibowitz during her time above the Arctic was that people changed their behaviors with the seasons. “If you live somewhere like Tromsø, where you go from two months of the sun not setting in the summer to two months of the sun not rising in the winter, it’s obvious you need to adapt to the seasons,” she says.
But in many parts of the world, like the United States, you’re essentially told that the winter shouldn’t affect you that much—that you should be just as productive, social, and motivated as you are in, say, spring and fall. “The truth is that winter does affect us,” Dr. Leibowitz says. Depending on where you live, you may be exposed to several less hours of daylight in, say, February and March compared to June and July. And research shows the reduction in daylight can dramatically impact your mood, energy levels, sleep habits and so on. “You’re going to feel that—you’re going to feel more tired, less social, less motivated,” Dr. Leibowitz says.
Instead of fighting those very real, natural physiological effects, acknowledge and accept them. Your body will feel different in the winter—so let yourself do less and rest more, Dr. Leibowitz recommends. Say no to invites you feel meh about, go to sleep earlier or sleep in later, and maybe swap out the high-intensity cycle classes for slow-paced strength training sessions or yoga. It’s okay—and normal!—to be less energetic and productive (when you can get away with it) between December and March.
Make winter a Vibe.
Remember how, above, Dr. Leibowitz said she used to feel as though winter was something to be endured, not enjoyed? That belief was holding her back from appreciating everything the season has to offer. Now, she has all kinds of traditions and behaviors she practices that get her genuinely amped about winter.
Research suggests that people who look forward to seasonal festivities—like decorating, hosting gatherings, playing music, or cooking special meals—tend to have a more positive relationship with winter. And while the height of the holiday season may be behind us, you can still apply the same principle by creating new rituals that make the remaining months feel less monotonous and depressing.
There are so many ways to go about this—watch your favorite comfort movies (LOTR binge, anyone?), have a cup of tea every afternoon, sit by a fire, or get into cooking hearty meals like chili or lasagna. Or, my fave rec from Dr. Leibowitz, light a bunch of candles right when the sun sets and eat dinner by candlelight. Think about how you can work with the season, not against it. “Use winter as a chance to welcome the darkness,” Dr. Leibowitz says.
Get outside (and bundle up if you need to).
There’ve been many instances in which I don’t leave my apartment all day because it’s, well, gross out. If and when I do venture outside after work, I hate every second of it. So, I get it—it’s tempting to avoid the outdoors. But Dr. Leibowitz recommends finding a way to get out, even for a little bit, if you’re feeling down in the thick of winter. Research shows movement and nature are natural mood boosters—so take a 15-minute walk after work, drink a coffee in the park on your lunch break, or pick up an activity like hiking, birdwatching, or stargazing.
On that note: Dressing for the weather can be a game changer, no matter where you live. If your region gets super frosty, bundling up in proper winter gear is key. In Scandinavia, for example, people don’t face storms in leggings and a beanie—they layer up with parkas, hats, wool leggings, wool undershirts, and waterproof outerwear, explains Dr. Leibowitz.
When you’re not dressed to stay warm, it’s easy to feel like winter is limiting your life. Dr. Leibowitz recalls detesting the cold as a kid because she’d throw a coat over a T-shirt and call it a day. These days, she takes a cue from Nordic countries: “People don’t let the weather stop them from getting outdoors,” she says. Instead, they dress appropriately and keep living their lives.
Winter may never be as sunny as summer, as rejuvenating as spring, or golden as fall. It’s its own thing—perhaps moody, romantic, quiet, or cozy—so let it be, and learn to embrace it.
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Originally Appeared on Self
