A college student’s poignant social media post is going viral after she opened up about what emotional abuse looks like.
Kelsey Baker shared a post to Facebook highlighting how not all abuse looks the same — and how it’s never acceptable, even if there’s no physical signs.
“Maybe he doesn’t hit you, but he makes you apologize for getting upset after something he did to hurt you,” she wrote. “Maybe he doesn’t hit you, but you have to walk on eggshells every day to ensure he is satisfied enough to remain calm and happy.”
“So what he brought you flowers on Tuesday and made you feel like a princess. Yet caused you to cry yourself to sleep on Wednesday over a ‘suspicious’ guy liking your picture,” she continued. “Maybe he bought you earrings and made you feel so secure on Friday, but told you Saturday night he’s going to sleep with someone else all because you decided to stand up for yourself for once.”
Baker speaks candidly about the forms abuse has taken in her own life.
“Maybe he bought you tickets to the John Langston concert and made you feel so beautiful as you curled your hair and put on your jean skirt before you left. Just to crack your phone on the concrete and make you sit on the sidewalk ugly crying because he was jealous of a guy who stood near you at the concert,” she said.
Baker also highlights the importance of knowing self worth — a message she wants to pass on to her daughter.
“This is not OK. And you are not at fault… Please don’t wait for him to change as he carelessly rips apart your soul and everything that is you. Please don’t tell yourself it’s OK or ever allow yourself to get used to it,” she wrote. “He is broken. Do not let him break you.”
Baker’s message is resonating online with more than 70,000 shares and 6,100 comments, many from women who have been in similar situations.
“Dated a guy like this and this is so true! They don’t change but there are men out there who will treat you the way you deserve. Ladies, don’t settle for this ever,” read one comment.
“I understand all too well… Emotional wounds leave the worst scars,” said another.
Speaking to Her View from Home, Baker explains the decision to leave her relationship came down to setting an example for her own daughter.
“I definitely came to the realization that if I can’t be strong enough for myself, I have to be strong enough for her,” she said.
“Do not apologize for his mistakes,” she said. “Do not let him tear you apart to build himself higher. You are worthy of love and happiness and respect.”